"Confidence," the statement we've all heard before, and yet evidence leads to disappointment. It seems those with confidence are not always the most honest of people. They can be the ones that lead to despair. Even when we know better, loneliness leads one to false premonitions and feelings of hopelessness. We lead ourselves back to failing relationships and we lose trust in the opposite sex. We feel the hopes of possibility, then, those hopes turn to sadness when it all fails. I have seen what men who play the jerk get. Sadly, they get the girl. It's sad but true that the stereotype used car salesman mentality seems to land the girl, who usually ends up bitter over men because of it. Every girl I have seen that states such things as, "men are pigs" could be placed in a room of good men, and go straight for the one jerk in most situations. This is true of men as well, for every guy I've met that says women are backstabbing and deceptive, they will go straight for the one girl that actually is in most situations.

Our past failings should only lead to learning, to hope. Yet, when the chips are down we seem to lose hope, making the assumptions that these 'isolated incidents' seem all to common and we are the common denominator. Despite what the bitter may say, we need to keep that hope alive. Hope is not dead. We need to learn, to grow. For every mistake, a rebirth, a new understanding. Happiness is not without sacrifice. Unfortunately, confidence is key. It opens the doors. You receive what you give. Awkward and stumbling? The awkwardness will only be returned as the opposite sex questions your motives, your stability. Even the most genuine and endearing of people can't help but to question the possibilities of jealousy and insecurity. I have been on both sides of the coin. I have been the jealous boyfriend with reasons I couldn't even begin to make sense of now. I have angered girlfriends for doing absolutely nothing but hanging out with my friends of the female variety for which there is no chance of any sexual encounter, or anything close.

The unfortunate aspect of this learning experience, is that it tends to lead to mistrust. Even just a small percentage of bad experiences, even if it is the fault of bad choices that we fully understand we have made by ignoring the signs, is that lack of trust. We take all our bad experiences and decide that the majority of the opposite sex surely fits into the parameters of all our failed relationships. Then we seek out new experiences in the same places, the same environments that attract the same people that have failed us in the past and lose hope all over again. The confidence to be ourselves is not easy. I have never lied or faked anything to gain trust, yet I still find myself in the same situation, the awkwardness of social interaction. I am so respectful that I avoid eye contact to avoid seeming sleazy. Every action to avoid some possible stereotype, yet it only leads to another. I later learned my awkwardness and shyness was regularly misconstrued as intimidating or stuck up. The intimidating aspect being from women, the stuck up from the men. My shy nature was mistaken for something else entirely. This irritated me to no end. Despite my respect for people's varying opinions and nature, I was branded for doing absolutely nothing in most cases. Being too 'quiet' led people to make their own conclusions, and they went straight for the worst possibility. I realized that I might as well say what's on my mind regardless, give them something to judge me on and take it from there.

We have to learn to be ourselves, this always sounds so easy, but it is not such an easy task, despite what some will say. We may not fake or lie, yet we cannot find the confidence to say what we truly mean. The fear of rejection. What might happen if he/she says no? Nothing. If said with honesty and confidence, your 'so called rejection' will not be as bad as you have conjured it up to be. You will find the confidence to move on, to try it again, to find success. Every successful person has met failure, and carried on, refusing to fall, continuing the fight. Hope is precious, keeping the hope alive despite the odds, despite the challenges that face us, knowing that we can conquer it all and one day look back on our moments of failure and laugh. Knowing that only those with hope found what they wanted eventually to understand what all the moments of loneliness and despair meant. You learn from it, you carry it with you so that you can one day laugh and be proud of what you have faced. You laugh at the emotions you thought were so traumatic only to realize it only led you to a greater place, a greater understanding of the world we must face. But first you must face the trials, you must earn your place, earn the right to achieve the status of the elite, face your demons, conquer them, and learn the humility of your failures so that you may rise and become what you were meant to be.