When using social networking sites, it's important to be aware of the problem of identity theft, as well as a whole lot of other issues that can arise. Whether you're on Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Flickr, Twitter, or our much loved Hubpages – living life online has its risks. Social networking can be a great way to connect, share, network, and pass the time in dull meetings and classes, but just how appropriate is it to share everything online? And how safe is it?

Of course reputable sites have privacy policies to protect you from identity theft and crazed stalkers – which would be quite useful if anybody ever bothered to read the whole thing. For all I know tucked away in the middle of every privacy policy on the web, is the phrase:

“we reserve the right to use all and any information posted to this site as long as we can see a way for ourselves, our affiliates and sister sites to profit from such information. In the event of information seeming completely unprofitable we reserve the right to sell such information to any nutter that asks for it without ascertaining what he/she may be intending to do with it”.

It seems unlikely but it’s possible.

I’ve recently deleted my full date of birth from my facebook page. Have I done this in the hope that my facebook friends will forget that I'm getting on a bit? No, not really, although that would be a welcome side effect. The real reason I edited my details is that I read that computer hackers specializing in identity theft refer to social networking sites as “date of birth databases”. Now I missed Identity Theft 101 but I’m guessing this is one of the most important pieces of information you need to steal an identity. (I’m also guessing a serious hacker would find my attempts to discourage him laughable and would probably get the better of me in minutes seeing as I, like most people these days, probably leave an electronic trail as wide as the Mississippi and just as easy to follow.)

On some social networking sites you can send round quizzes asking people cute questions like what’s your favorite color/flower/animal. This is probably a nice harmless way to get to know people better, but it strikes me that these are just the sort of inane questions required by some password re-setting systems. Am I paranoid? Probably. My favorite color is yellow – not really!!

Of course, the real dangers of sharing too much on social networking sites may lie not in personal data displayed on profile pages, but in the way we chat, tweet and share away about things that may incriminate us.

Apparently a female Twitter user was recently shocked to find police on her doorstep, concerned for the safety of her 3 year old daughter. The grounds for concern? A tweet she had delivered earlier that evening that read:

“If I smother my 3 year old, who will NOT GO TO F****** SLEEP, is it REALLY a crime?”

It seems that this tweet was a “joke”, which brings us to a serious problem of social networking and indeed any online communication. In the absence of physical context, tone of voice, facial expression etc. things that could conceivably be a joke in the real world often come across as anything but online. That’s the whole reason we use LOL, :) and all those other fun little phrases, expressions created from keyboard strokes and quirky little emotions. (As far as I know none of these were used in this particular tweet).

Rightly or wrongly, other Twitter users interpreted this tweet as a possible serious threat or maybe just a cry for help. Twitter moderators were alerted and the police, at any rate, seemed to think the situation was worth checking out. I guess this mom’s case was not helped by the fact that she had, through her blog, also disclosed her medical details (she was bipolar) and deep emotions probably best discussed with real live friends or a therapist ( she often felt “burdened” and “overwhelmed”). Again, should she have shared this? My personal view is yes, but not with a whole bunch of strangers out in cyberspace.

Later posts by the Twitter mom showed her resentment:

“Watch what you Twitter, big sister is watching” and

“Don’t do any venting in public. Don’t network. Don’t show anything LESS than perfect bliss.”

I guess she forgot to add “don’t suggest you are contemplating homicide /infanticide” but I’m sure we all get the idea.

I really don’t want to be too judgmental over incidents like this. I can see how they happen. People just get too secure with cyber space.

I have friends who know me inside out. They are aware that my kids are my life and that I would (and do) do anything for them. They are also aware that putting two little 24 hour need machines first 365 days a year sometimes takes its toll. I can say to them “Does anybody know a good adoption agency? I just have to give at least one of these kids away.” They know this is a joke because they know my kids are loved and wanted and the center of my universe, and that in reality I have never once spent a night away from them and would suffer severe separation anxiety if I did. That’s what makes the ‘joke’ funny.

If I made the same comment to a bunch of cyber space strangers, would it have the same humorous impact? I suspect not.

My personal suggestions for social networking and general online socializing are as follows.

Be the same person you are in real life online. I’m a writer and I write under my real name. This does limit my writing somewhat. I have to be prepared that my mom could come across an article I’ve written or a prospective boss could google me to see what kind of work ethic I have (Love you Mom, I’ll call you after my workaholics anonymous meeting). However it also makes my writing more real as I’m aware I have to be able to stand behind what I write, whether it’s deadly serious or mildly humorous.

When social networking, think before you share. These sites really are a valuable resource to keep up with friends and family, share photos, and update people en mass about what you’re up to. They can also be great for networking, publicizing a new business or freelance endeavor etc. Just ask before you share - is this info suitable for public consumption? Could this be misinterpreted (with major consequences)? Have I named names?

Be aware that people who are not in your friends list can see your profile. I don’t want to induce paranoia but it should be obvious that even if your boss/teacher is not on your friends list they could get a glimpse of your pages if you have other colleagues/mutual friends and acquaintances on there. There is a simple way to protect yourself from this - just don’t post stuff that could get you into serious trouble – say, the fact that you have homicidal tendencies.

Be aware when you make friends online that mad axe murderers do not tend to go by the username MadAxeman. They may go by the user name ILoveFluffyBunnies.

Read the privacy policy – all of it. And when you do, let me know what the hell it says.