Today I Quit Smoking After Twenty Years - Pray for My Tortured Soul

Saturday, May 17, 2008 is the day. I have been preparing for this my entire adult life. I am going to quit smoking. Totally quit, cold turkey, after nearly twenty years of smoking. Many think I can not do it, and that is why I will.

I have attempted quitting before, but never for myself. I have always just loved smoking, and felt that it was being taken away during those times when I quit. Now, I am doing it because I want to. I am tired of coughing every morning, and worrying when the lung cancer would swoop down on my head. More important, it is something that has always kicked my tail, and I simply can not live with that anymore.

So, why am I writing this here? Because there is something about putting it out there. Once it goes into cyberspace the world knows. When I walk down the street and start wanting to smoke, that next person will see me as a hypocrite. I like that. It will keep me in check. I am telling the world that I can quit, and I want the world to police me through my conscience.

This day will be my greatest victory for myself. I will reclaim my old smells, and my sensations. My lungs will hopefully go back to being semi-normal. My breath will certainly smell better. My kids and those around me will not be around even the slightest second hand smoke from my ciggerettes. I will live longer than I would have if I never put them down God willing.

So, if you see me walking down the street with a smoke, please look at me with a judgemental stare. Make me feel lower than a sewer rat. Do not let me try "just one" when I go to the beach this summer. I need to quit, and I will.

Please pray for my tortured soul over the next few weeks. I am going to need it.