I have four children, so I can attest to the complexity of 2 year-olds.  One minute they are sweet and cuddly, the next like a porcupine.  They’re on the verge of selfhood and yet so dependent. Toddlers need safe boundaries within which to explore, and they need you to set limits.  You can provide those limits with some basic discipline strategies that will keep you both safe and sane.

What is Discipline?

Discipline is less about punishment than it is about education.  Through discipline, you’re helping your child develop self control and giving him skills he’ll use all his life. Teaching him limits means you’re helping him learn social skills and fostering a stronger relationship with him.

Foundations for Discipline

Set the precedent of closeness and connection, of knowing your child well, and you’ll find that discipline is much easier.  Connect early, trust your instincts when responding to your child’s needs.  You’ll be more in touch with your developing child and that makes discipline easier for you both.

Know What to Expect

If you know age-appropriate behavior and what to expect from children at different ages, you’ll find that disciplining a toddler is easier.  A 2 year-old’s temper tantrum is very different from an older child’s.  If you know the stages of development for normally developing children, you will set your child up for success.

Set Limits and Provide Structure

If you set limits and expect your child to obey you, you’re providing a safe structure within which the child is free to explore and to be himself.  You will command respect and establish a precedent for discipline early on.  When you command respect, you’re setting a good example for your self-discipline.  Simple rules like, “Hold my hand or we leave the store” leave little room for argument when delivered firmly. 

Keep it Simple

Keep your rules simple for toddlers.  They are impulsive little people, and at this age, most discipline relates to safety issues.  You have to teach children to hold your hand in a parking lot, for instance, or to use a “soft touch” when touching others.  Educate your toddler about what he must never touch (the hot stove,  electrical outlets, etc.). If the child knows these things are off limits, he’s less likely to throw a tantrum when removed from the object.

Market the Idea

As a parent, you’ll find yourself marketing ideas to your target audience:  your toddler.  If you can redirect behavior to something even more fun than spraying water all over the floor, you’ve avoided a tantrum.  “Here’s a sponge.  You can wash the plastic ware” will satisfy your toddler’s need to explore and your need not to have to mop the floor.  Again.

Don’t Forget Humor

I can’t tell you how easy it is to lose your sense of humor after a day with your toddler.  Maybe I don’t need to tell you:  if you have a toddler, you’ve been there.  If you can use humor to diffuse a situation, you can break the tension and your child will back off of his position of power. 

Think education here.  You’re teaching, through discipline, tools for self-control and self-sufficiency.  That may keep you from losing your sense of humor, your cool, or you mind as you navigate toddlerhood.