So none of us guys out there really imagine ourselves getting into too many bar fights, but it happens! People get to drinking, egos begin to fly, and guys (and gals) get less "inhibited" with words the drunker they get.

One of the long lasting ways to settle a drunken dispute has always been to go toe-to-toe with the guy and just rumble it out. And my experience is, once you do this, people begin to look at you differently, and some even gain respect for their craziness and instinct to "throw down" at a moment's notice.

So I sat here and thought about it. I would have no hesitation to bust it up a little if someone pushed me too far, but I really try not to. And even though I personally do have a background in fighting (martial arts), I always try to avoid the drunken conflict at all costs.

But what about that ONE GUY in the bar that just won't shut up? Maybe he's a little bigger than you, maybe he runs his mouth uncontrollably, or maybe you just think he would take it to you pretty hard if you guys went at it?

It's for THIS GUY that I've come up with a list of five guys. A list of guys that I would bring to the bar with me if I could the next time I come.

And to THIS GUY if you're him I say, "Let's see if you run your mouth to me now buddy? You've got your friends and I've got mine. Bring your army pal," because here are the Top 5 Guys I want on my side in the next bar fight:

BRUCE LEE

Now come on, are you serious? Are you really gonna mess with a guy that CREATED his own style of martial arts, Jeet Kune Do? I don't know what Jeet Kune Do means in Chinese, but it doesn't sound good if you are the opposition!

Bruce, tough as leather and faster than a humming bird, would certainly make a guy think twice about swinging when he and I rolled up into the local pub together. If I've got Bruce Lee, I say bring it on man, let's roll!

CHUCK NORRIS

Alright, is Chuck Norris just a movie star? Hmm? Well, he IS a movie star but he is also an 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do and "on July 1, 2000, Norris was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame" (as reported on Wikipedia).

And in his movies, like Code of Silence, The Delta Force, and Firewalker, Chuck played the role of the guy that could find you anywhere! It doesn't matter where you are in the world, if Chuck Norris wants to find you, he will, and man are you in trouble?

Based on this reputation alone it would be enough, but between that and Chucks' well rounded and respected "mad skills" in the martial arts...my money's on Chuck. And you better look out bro when you pick a bar fight with us, because we might just find you later too!

LOU FERRIGNO

Do I REALLY need to say anything? Lou was the youngest bodybuilder ever to win Mr. Universe, then won it the following year also (at 20 and 21 years old). He won the Mr. Teen America and Mr. America competitions too.

They say he bench pressed 560lbs in his prime at 6'5" tall and 285lbs. They say he had a 59" chest - 34" waist - 22 1/2" biceps - 29" thighs and a 19" neck. Oh, and he also starred as the silent alter ego, The Incredible Hulk.

I can only imagine the look on that loud mouth pricks' face when he picks a fight with me and Lou Ferrigno stands up to join in! I think he'd probably turn greener than the skin of "The Hulk" himself when he figured this one out. I'm bringin' it ANYWHERE ANYTIME with Lou by my side!

MIKE TYSON

Mike Tyson was once called "one of the most frightening human beings to ever step foot into the boxing ring." This guy may have a sqeaky voice, but he's absolutely crazy!

Any guy (Tyson) that bites the ear off of an opponent in a title fight in the boxing ring DEFINITELY qualifies as an insane individual to me. And what about getting a tattoo on your face? I have a few tattoos myself, but getting one on your face is a little...ok ALOT nuts!

So bring it on buddy! Crazy guy at the bar! I'm gonna bet you can't match the intesity level of my new friend, Mike Tyson. This guy is so crazy, I'd watch my own back even if he was fighting with me...bring the gun, that's the only way you'll win this one!

ANDRE ROUSIMOFF

And finally, how about Andre The Giant? At 7'4" and 500lbs, I think the intimidation factor alone would be enough, don't you?

Andre was 6'7" at age 17. What?? This guy was truly a giant and I think the jerk that wants to mouth off to him has a death wish.

Andre could palm a large beach ball and didn't even have to get on his tip-toes to dunk a basketball. And I wonder what would happen if you DID sucker punch him and knock him down? Sure hope he's not falling on me?

I'm pretty confident with Andre, flappy mouth guy at the bar would probably be asking for an autograph instead of a fight!!

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So let me ask you, would you throw down with us? Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Lou Ferrigno, Mike Tyson, Andre The Giant, and me...Scott?  When we come cruisin' in to your local bar, are YOU gonna be the one to start it? You'd have to be out of your crazy insane mind to do something like that!

Anyway, my fantasizing is over, I've made my Top 5 List Of Guys I Want On My Side In A Bar Fight. All of these guys are either old or gone now in the real world, but I'd still take 'em if I could. Could you imagine the look on the other guy's face after he went and grabbed his buddies and these guys showed up on your side?

NO DOUBT, with these fellas walkin' in with me, I'm wearin' my "BRING IT OWN SUCKA!!" t-shirt and gettin' as loud as I want to!!