Top Ten Soul-Killing Dead-End Jobs and How to Get Them
93
Why Did I Get This Hairnet With My Diploma?
So, you've just graduated with a B.A. in liberal studies, political science, psychology, sociology, history, or English, and now you are ready to embark on The Great American Job Search of 2008.
Or, maybe you are looking for work for the first time due to a recent divorce, or because your youngest child is finally starting kindergarten and you've decided that eating regular meals and paying the bills on time is something your young family would enjoy. Maybe you were 'downsized' after years of devoted service, or laid off, or just plain fired for any number of bogus reasons that all add up to 'don't call us, we'll call you when we have some money again and can hire Americans.'
Whatever your reasons for entering the job market right now, you've no doubt noticed that when you go to careerbuilder.com what you mostly find are ads for work-at-home schemes that require you to send money to anonymous hucksters before earning $5000 a week in your spare time. When you open your local newspaper want-ads all you see are the same four real estate and dishwashing jobs that are always there, week after week, no matter what.
You've honed your resume. You've polished your shoes and spent money on a navy blue suit. You've networked so hard your friends are avoiding you in the grocery store, and still, nothing is happening. You can hear the wind whistling through your wallet, and it's getting damn chilly.
Don't despair.
The good news is, there ARE jobs out there and you CAN get one.
The bad news is, there are jobs out there, and you can get one.
They aren't good jobs. They aren't even tolerable jobs. They are jobs from hell, designed to crush every last vestige of ambition and hope from every optimistic little cell in your perky young body, and the truth is, you might have to compete for one and then hang onto it for awhile until the U.S. economy has moved from the ER into a regular hospital room.
If you haven't realized that yet, then go back to whatever really good drugs you've gotten your hands on, and Godspeed. Sorry to bother you. If you have realized it though and you're still with me, here are some options and tips on how to muscle your way into hell:
#10--Fast Food Counter Employee
I have a first cousin who used to be a Catholic priest. While serving in a distressed parish in Los Angeles ten years ago he developed a nasty cocaine habit, and once, in an effort to finance this habit, he robbed a Taco Bell by jumping over the counter in his cassock, scooping the money out of the cash drawer, and running outside where he was promptly arrested barely half a block away. Sadly, this is a true story, but the happy ending is that after only five thirty-thousand-dollar rehab stints financed by his diocese, he finally found true love (with a grown woman), left the priesthood, and is now drug free.
Yay.
OK, so here's the thing: The placard on every fast food booth that says, "Now hiring smiling faces!" is a euphemism for "Now hiring huge mean people and lunatics who never stop grinning." If you are already huge and mean looking, you have an edge here, but if not, under no circumstances should you reveal any trace of intelligence or education. Speak in monosyllables, look confused during your interview, and fill out the one-page app in pencil. Bonus points if you can garble your speech without the aid of the drive through order soundbox.
And yes, I would like fries with that.
#9--Catholic Clergy
On the down side, you must take a vow of celibacy and you're supposed to sign on for life, not just until the job market improves. On the up side, if you develop a serious drug addiction or a tendency towards pedophilia, the medical benefits are awesome. You're good for at least six figures worth of rehab for example before they even think of giving up on you,and even after that you're not likely to get kicked to the curb, although you may end up on some kind of office or file clerk detail.
To get this job, which basically is what it is and isn't going to change anytime in the next couple of thousand years (steady work, no lay offs) you need to be able to present yourself as serious, caring, and moderately emotionally stable.
Keep in mind you don't have to actually be any of those things.
#8--Photocopy Counter Lackey
If you've ever seen Dave Chappelle's 'PopCopy Training Video' then you really don't even need to read #8 on this list. I tried to find it on a video platform supported at Hubpages but I couldn't. If anyone has an embed link that works, send it to me and I'll put it up instead of the photo. In the meantime, here's a link to the MySpace Page of some English girl I don't know from Adam who has the original clip posted.
It's totally worth watching. I promise.
To get this job, you have to have a thick skin and plenty of attitude. if you are the kind of person who tends to let customers push you around by getting you to show them how to do things or ring things up for them or acknowledge their existence, this job is not for you and you probably shouldn't even try to get it. But if you couldn't get in at Long John Silvers, remember, at PopCopy you get an apron instead of a stupid hat.
#7--Big Box Store Cashier
It might surprise you to learn that many big box stores like WalMart, Meijer, Sam's Club, Target, and K-Mart still actually pay wages to their employees. Tiny wages, yes, but wages nonetheless. Oh, it's true, they make you work off the clock and skip your breaks and cheat you out of promotions and so on and so forth, but we're going into this knowing that we're passing through the gates of Hell, remember? So no whining!
To get this job, you will have to pass the pee cup test and be breathing. Speak when spoken to at your interview, don't reveal any education past high school, and when you go to the little training-rally-thingie try to jump around and cheer and not puke or anything. You can adopt that deadened, 'kill-me-please' expression once you are issued your blue vest and are actually on the register.
Recently my eldest daughter got hired at WalMart. She made it through the week-long 'Unions Are Evil' team-building orientation process and got her vest and time card and everything, then quit on her first day when she opened her locker and a used tampon and half-eaten sandwich fell on top of her.
Hey, that was a week's wages anyway. Nearly $135.
#6--Outbound Telemarketer
Who doesn't love a good telemarketer? Everybody, that's who!
To get a telemarketing job you just have to, well, you just have to be willing to take a telemarketing job. Instantly you will become the most reviled creature in the developed world, and every single person you call will tell you this and why. In detail. Profanely. Tapeworms get more respect, and they deserve more.
This should really be the #1 most soul-killing dead-end job ever, but it's such a cliche I decided to place it somewhere in the middle of this list. (Really, any of these jobs will destroy you, it's just a question of speed and methodology.) The average telemarketer doesn't work through his or her first week. The turnover is unbelievable. So the chances of you actually being a telemarketer long enough to internalize the role and make it a legitimate part of how you self-identify is pretty small.
If you stay a month you will almost certainly be promoted to a supervisory position (it might not take a month) which will involve walking around a boiler room phone center promising incentives to employees who will quit before the end of the day, and then never delivering the incentives. If you stay two months you will likely be running the whole place.
Here's the catch: 99 out of 100 people will not stay two months. After ten minutes on the phones you will know why. Ten minutes on the phones will net you about $1.50. That's a cheeseburger at Micky D's!
#5--Inbound Call Center CSR
See how happy these people are? They are happy because they are helping the customers of major multinational corporations give up on calling in complaints and questions to the 800 numbers of major multinational corporations. Also, they are actors and models, not real inbound Customer Service Representatives (CSRs), and that makes them really happy, unlike call center work, which pretty much makes you want to kill yourself or the people who call you or your employer or all of the above.
By the time a person gets to a CSR at an inbound call center, you can be pretty sure they've already spent at least 5 to 15 minutes on a frustrating, useless, automated phone tree that has spiked their blood pressure at least 50 points. Your job will be to 1) calm them down, 2) not solve their problem, and finally 3) try to sell them a product or service they don't want.
To get this job you will have to be able to type, talk, think, surf the internet, and get cussed out all at the same time while not peeing or leaving your work station for hours and hours on end. You will be tested on this. Then, you will be interviewed on the phone and in person and asked questions about whether you are a 'team player' and like a 'fast-paced' environment.
(Hint: Your answer should be a chirpy 'Yes!' followed by an inane but robust 'Woot! Woot!' Sports metaphors at your interview are highly recommended.)
#4--Pay Day Loan Clerk
If you've never met Satan but you've always wanted to, this is the job for you! However, if you are a sensitive type who is alarmed by desperate crackheads, old people who can't even afford cat food, or scary looking guys who are willing to track you down as soon as they get out of prison and kill you, then this might not be your best bet. If things like that roll right off your back and you have a no-fear take-no-prisoners kind of attitude, you just may get hired.
(A tip: DON'T give this employer your banking information.)
If you think about it, life is really short anyway, so what difference does it make if yours is made a bit shorter through constant exposure to enraged, desperate poor people that you are helping some faceless, evil loan shark to rob blind? Somebody has to do it, right? Wrong? Really? You won't do it, not even if you are eating ramen noodles for breakfast and dinner?
Hey, I'm with you: Wrong. Don't take this crappy job. Just don't. As long as there are streetcorners where you can still sell your body with honesty and dignity, don't stoop to this.
#3--Freelance Internet Copywriter
Did you know you can make money writing online? It's true. I actually wrote a hub about it. It's the most-read hub I've ever written here, and so far has gotten thousands of hits. You know how much money I've made so far on it? Forty-nine dollars, and it only took me eight months.
But that's not the point, is it? Hubpages is my refuge and the place I get to write what I really think. It keeps me sane and I love the people here. I love it so much here I would almost pay to write for Hubpages (almost).
In my other life as an internet writer, I get, as Rodney Dangerfield used to say, no respect. Things are less rosy. I get stiffed sometimes. I get nitpicked. I get too much work, then weeks go by with not enough.
Two of the blogs I write for daily pay $3 a post and I get e-mail advice from the owner on what constitutes great writing, as if he knows (I mean, come on, why is he hiring me? And for three dollars? For three dollars you get commas in the right place...maybe. You don't deserve more than that for three dollars.)
Sometimes I make good money, sometimes I don't, but anyone can pick up a buck or two writing online copy this way through www.elance.com or www.guru.com. Most of the time you will actually even get paid your three dollars as promised. Sometimes, sadly, you won't. Non-paying buyers go to a special place in hell, a place reserved for little netpreneurs who stiff writers.
On the up side, you can do this job at home in your pajamas, then come here and write from your heart what you are really thinking. Not so bad.
#2--Gas Station/Convenience Store Clerk
Despite being the subject of one of the best independent movies ever made, this job still sucks, and whats more, it's gotten really dangerous. Tobacco stores are in the same category. Mostly this kind of work is about showing up even when when you don't want to, which will be 99% of the time, It also helps if you are willing to work 60 to 90 hours a week and fill in for other employees who quit on short notice, which will happen on an ongoing basis.
Basically, you will live at this job.
To get this job, it helps if you are the Middle Eastern relative of the owner, although in that case you may not get wages for your work, you might just live in this guy's house and work at the store with his wife and five of your nephews for room and board. However, there are still lots of places that hire ordinary citizens to man the convenience counters at terrible hours.
Free tip: Look for a place with a bullet-proof counter shield.
#1--Roofer/TreeTrimmer
Roofing and meat-packing are the two most dangerous jobs in the United States today, and neither of them pays for crap. Cell phone tower maintenance is also right up there, as is tree-trimming. Around here, roofers make eight or nine dollars an hour and rarely is any experience required. The work is hot, dangerous and thankless.
Roofers and tree trimmers are all the time falling off of things and breaking their backs or necks, for nine dollars an hour, without benefits. Ditto meat packing plant workers, who lose limbs and are often underage.
Honestly, I can't think of a single thing that's funny about any of that.
What it does make me think about though, is a time when unions were powerful and still provided some safety and wage protection for construction workers and factory workers. I know somebody is going to bring up Jimmy Hoffa here, and honestly, I don't want to hear it. Right now we are building substandard structures using cheap non-union workers who may or may not get paychecks that actuall cash. Ten years down the line the roof caves in, kills hundreds and it's a big news story, and yet, it continues.
Why do cranes keep falling over in New York City? I simply do not believe that no one knows how to keep these cranes from falling over. I think it's the same problem: cheap, fast, and dangerous. Labor is expendable.
Maybe you'd best skip all these #1 worst jobs. Don't even go there.
Wake Up America
Well, that's it. That's all the survival tips I have today.
Except for one: Pay attention, vote, make noise, wake up.
We have an election coming up. I know a lot of people have lost faith in elections. But that doesn't excuse us from civic responsibility. If you can't bring yourself to vote or believe in that, pay attention and subvert the system as your conscience allows. Because if you don't, these jobs are what we can all look forward to, and so much less, for the next generation or more.
Honestly, I am still stuck at #5 and #3, and I'm hoping to move into a different field entirely within the next three years, but so much depends upon the economy, and so much about the economy depends on having a government that helps us to get the education, the training, and the good jobs we need.
God I hope that happens.
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Comments
Awesome hub! I worked #2 for 3 1/2 years to get through college, and the stories are unbelievable to anyone who hasn't worked that job. It's amazing I'm not completely pessimistic of mankind. Great hub, thanks for sharing!
Thanks hot dorkage! I should have made it the top 5, because by the time I got to ten I was kind of depressed. I agree, if only it were a joke it would be a lot funnier.
Thanks Jerry G2! I think these are what our parents used to call "character building experiences." I have so much character now, I'm like, I don't know, drowning in character. Enough already!
Oh PS. Been there and done that on #5. I lasted 6 months. I decided it was preferrable to be poor. Character and $3.50 will buy you a latte. I got character out the wazoo. It's only $0.45 a lb. Take the whole lot! Please.
I can appreciate your hubs because you're able to bluntly share so many truths especially when it comes to the U.S. and you do it with such wit and biting sarcasm.
Absolutely fantastic, I'm rolling on the floor dying of laughter. My wife works #5 and she verified the truth. I do believe you ought to have included commission only outside sales, of which I tried for almost a year and probably should have never touched.
Thanks Pam. I started my Sunday with a grin on my face having read this. I've had a few dreadful jobs in my time, mainly the little part-time jobs that I've taken on during school hours to get some extra for the family. Amazing how if your employer is being flexible about your hours, they expect you to be flexible about your wages!
You forgot mailman Pam. I've heard that's a particularly good job over there in America. The only qualification: don't read anything by Charles Bukowski. It might give you ideas.
PG - out of interest, is there a National Minimum Wage in US? In UK, it currently stands at £5.52 /hr (about $11) for adults. Not a lot, but better than nothing.
Wow, hi everybody! Such a nice surprise, and especially since I have to work today (ugh).
Paraglider, the minimum wage nationally is, I think, $5.75, but the state where I live just raised it to $7.25. Neither of those is really a livable wage here.
CJ, how could I forget the mailman? But you're right--here it is a coveted blue collar position. The joke is, "What do you do with a PhD in philosophy? Deliver the mail!" Except it's not a joke, it's true. They are the most educated group of blue collar workers in the country, and yes, they do have those meltdowns...
Amanda, thank you for reading and commenting! Always good to see you here.
tkeeley and talented ink--thanks for the nice words. You are right about straight commission sales--ugh. That should be on the list for sure.
hot dorkage, would you believe I'm into my SEVENTH year at #5??? It's all about the health care, but I'm right at "I don't care anymore" and have been for awhile. I don't know how I drag my ass in there everyday.
Great hub, and you are so right about these jobs. I've done #5 and #6. #5 was only for one day. They let me go because supposedly I got all the incoming customers' orders wrong, which I know I did not. They probably had other reasons but used this excuse as it seemed (to them) to be more plausible.
As for #6, while I wasn't the actual salesperson, I did set appointments by phone for salespeople, but the effects and experiences are the same. I was there for a little over a year, and know a few who were, and are, there longer, but for the vast majority there, the turnaround is unbelievable.
CJ Stone mentioned mailman as being another such job. I would add to this, any job which requires you to knock on doors, such as a census taker or door to door salesperson. I was a census taker over 20 years ago and it was not fun. I currently deliver flyers door to door, and I do like this job, as I don't have to knock on doors and deal with people, I am not stuck in an office, and I stay fit. And houses don't get irate or refuse flyers, and, per company policy, I am not to even try to sell anything, which is great! If a resident is outside and says they are not interested, I'm to say 'ok', and move on.
I'm convinced that any job requiring you to convince people to buy or even look, is one of the most difficult and thankless jobs around, which is why sales jobs tend to be the largest section of the classifieds or any online job bank.
Again, great hub!
Alan S.
Great hub, and how right you are! However, my daughter would probably want to add to your list from her own experiences: a deli-clerk at a supermarket, and a server at a franchised restaurant. Both soul-zapping jobs, but hey...it's giving her some money while she's going to college.
Hi Pam and Myway! Good additions to the list, thanks! And thank you for your comments too.
I've worked everything on your list at one time or other, except #4. Most of my "good" jobs were in an office and after just a short while, the politics and being boxed up in an office all day, and never getting paid what you are really worth does get old...and turns into hell.
The real hell is when you finally get a degree from college and the only job you can get is to clean commercial buildings. LOL $7.00 an hour and you become the invisible person. Being invisible is not as bad as being hounded unless you are a "look at ME!" type of person. In this industry, you either work 15 to 18 hour days to make a living, or hope for at least 10 hours a week so you can eat! LOL! "They" got us over a barrel here. I did better w/o an education.
Now, thanks to you, I decided to become a writer. Really! It was your article that helped me to decide to join hubpages in the first place. After reading this terrific article ( and I mean that without sarcasm) I realize I may actually have to work much harder and longer to make a living...but, writing IS something I DO love and enjoy doing..I may survive by the skin of my teeth, but maybe it will be less than the hells I have been through struggling through just about every job up there on your list....one of my brothers was a roofer. Fell off a dozen houses and was perpetually drunk. I don't know of too many roofers who aren't drunk or doped up to do that job. Sad...
Thanks for this hub, and thanks for getting me involved in hubpages!
Karen LaVelle =o)
Hi Karen!
Yes, it's sad but true--getting a degree makes it worse in a way. Your expectations go up but your opportunities go down because there just aren't that many professional jobs out there. All the best on your writing--seriously, without the writing I'd be ten times more depressed than I am now. It really helps me to feel l'm at least doing SOMETHING I care about. Even weeks where I don't make a cent on the writing it still helps.
Thanks for your comments and best of luck to you!
Great hub! Fortunately, I have suffered only one of this unfortunate situations. Why is it when you write for somewone else, the person in charge suddenly becomes a great writer and tells you how to do it? God forbid there is more that one, then everybody has to stick their finger in the pie. Good work!
I worked #5 for Office Depot at their corporate HQfor a couple of years back in the early 90's. It was awful then but must be insufferable now.
Pam, every Hub is better than the last! I must put my foot down and demand that you write not one but two books! You'll make twice as much!
Seriously, your talent is far too good to go unrewarded (financially). I know the rewards of writing go beyond monetary but those other rewards don't buy food or pay the bills.
LOL!!! I laughed at your loan shark job where one gets to meet Satan and life shortened. haha.
I have had my share of menial, boring jobs that didn't match my college education and skills, but it paid my rent and bills, barely.
Hi Christoph. Thanks for your comments! I was really excited the first time I ever got paid for writing web copy, but now it's often just another chore. Blogging especially gets to me--I find that blogging for someone else often evolves into more and more work for less and less. Right now I do five blogs, and one of them I just billed and got an argument, and it gets old. I guess anything you do for money turns into a job eventually.
ColdWarBaby, thank you for the encouragement. I don't think my bosses at the bank think much of my 'talent' though--I think right now I'm about a hair away from termination. It's really hard to make a lot of money writing, and there are so many brilliant writers. Nice as it would be to be paid well for it, I'm glad to even get to do it at all right now. Thanks for your encouraging comments.
Hi Violetsun! Good to see you! Yes, those places call the bank all the time and I get to interact with them. Remember when there weren't any? I do. Now they're everywhere! It's kinda creepy.
Ugh! I've personally been #6 & 5... Although I like helping people, doing inbound CSR work made me cranky!! And telemarketing was the worst depression of my life when I did it! I always quit, lol. Thanks for the laugh :)
Oh My God, I'm so embarrassed to say that I've had most of these....Does 6 out of 10 make me insane or just optimistic???
I actually liked - for a short time- the pay day loan officer job...I was the only one in the office (go figure) so I had me for company and I was very good to myself, never criticizing or anything. I thought I was great. It was a highly stressful time for me and the solitude was wonderful. Hated the company tho...a bunch of fly by night rats. I quit and went on to bigger and better stress. Like now.
LOL great, Pam, too funny!! because it's oh so real!!
Hi Ms Sooz! Inbound call center work is making me cranky too. It would be totally irresponsible of me to just quit with no other job to go to but I think about it every day, in fact, every minute of every day I'm working. I was seriously burned out years ago and I'm still dragging my ass in there...
Glad you escaped!
mariesue, I don't think you are insane at all, I just think you are working for living in America in the 21st century, and this is what we have to work with. The quiet sounds so good to me right now. Stress gets to where it isn't funny after awhile, but at least we are still sucking air, on the right side of the grass, and so forth. Thank you for reading this and thank you for your comments!
GREAT hub! I don't write hubpages to get money. But I sure do like the people I meet and the things I learn as a hubber.
Thanks Die'Dre'! It's great here, isn't it? I love Hub Pages.
My first job out of college was as a CSR. Not as bad as you'd think, although, the company I worked for was pretty awesome.
You write so well it's almost easy to miss the horrific point you are making about the state of things because your voice is so delightful, funny and alive. I've been trying to find a copywriting job or PR writing work but, meh, just NOTHING is out there. Just have to keep whoring ourselves out until the economy busts free or something I guess. Another great hub as always. Every time I read your work I am astounded that you haven't been picked up by some major magazine.
Very entertaining reading. Sad about the reality of the contents.Maybe you really good writers could start your own magazine. Come on, you are amazing writers. I wonder, for eg. how much money Hubpages the business makes. ??? !!! ???
Thanks Shadesbreath--Right back at ya bro! Your columns are freakin' hilarious. I have to read them near the bathroom so I don't wet myself laughing, Seriously, you are really, really good.
I have two college degress and have worked my entire life, and I'm into my seventh year doing call center work. It's not like I haven't tried to get out. I'm still trying. Now I'm in trouble at work, my performance is off, but I SELL BANK PRODUCTS in this economy, and my supervisor is all like, "What's wrong with you? Why are you so down?" Golly I wonder. I find the work so morally and practically repugnant being a real whore would be preferable, but I'm 55--I think I wouldn't make enough to pay for our newspapers.
Jewels, thanks! Good idea! Anybody up for a publishing venture? Actually, that's not all that bad an idea...
pgrundy, I think it is a good idea. You guys have a network of people with enough knowhow to get something happening. You obviously like writing. Not that I'm wanting to put hubpages out of business. Maybe something geared directly at those having economic difficulties. Something uplifting, informative, helpful, humorous, cheap and full of ads to pay you guys for doing it.
I hear you soooo deeply and thoroughly that I have to either weep or make some fart joke to distract myself from the horror of it. Rock on, Pam, if I may call you that. Thank god you write on here.
Thank you Shadesbreath! I guess we're all kind of in the same boat here. Amen to that, thank God FOR Hubpages.
Wow.. this is just funny..
But, sadly it's true I've actually held at leaast 4 of those types of jobs in my life.. That hurts just to think about..
Keep up the GREAT work,
David D. JU'Don
Hi davidjudon!
Sadly, I've held most of these jobs too--I think there aren' as many good jobs around as there used to be, but at least we can try to laugh about it. Thanks for your kind comment!
I think I am one of the late comers here. This article seems to have been written before elections but the content still holds good. I sincerely hope that the situation changes fast otherwise most of us would find ourselves in a mess (financial). I agree with all that you have written especially #3 (freelance copywriter). I have heard numerous instances where people fall prey to these exploiters but what to do...credit goes to the prevailing economic conditions. Thumbs up!
Thank you anjalichugh--I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Have a very happy New Year and here's to hoping the future is brighter!
My husband worked at a convenience store and the abuse he took was horrible. They expected him to be there all the time and when he called in sick they threatened to fire him. Why can't we treat our employees well?
Great hub as usual!!!!
Hi RGraf--Teh movie "Clerks" is all about that. It's hilarious, but it has lots of cussing and vulgarity in it so you might not appreciate it. The main character works in a convenience store and is constantly the butt of all kinds of abuse and overwork. It's one of my favorite movies. Thanks for commenting.
Lol this is the best hub ever.
Another great piece by the master hubber! :-) I'm slowly but surely reading my way through all your hubs, Pam, and what a trip it is!
I find it kind of sad, for lack of a better way to describe it, that your piece on writing online has only made you 49 bucks. To think I've paid that recently to get 3 books that didn't hold a goddamned candle to that single piece of writing, never mind others that I've read from you, makes me kind of sad.
Sunny side up, though, you're a wonderful writer and I'm glad I get to enjoy your stuff here!
I'm glad you do have somewhere to vent Pam! Great hub as usual. Thanks.
Hi Ken, Elena & valdosta!
Thank you for stopping by and reading this.
Elena--I was at $49 when I wrote the writing hub (awhile ago!) but since then I've gotten my first $100 payout on Google (it took 10 months) and the second is almost about to happen at three months. Some people here make a monthly Google adsense payout, and that's a goal I have now, plus I've found two other sites like HP that seems to get up to payout fairly quicky, so I see it getting cumulatively better.
Ken--It sure does help to vent. I hope to make 2009 the year I quit working a job, and just pay my bills off my writing. We'll see...
Thanks you guys.
And keep in mind Pam you are writing once and getting a trickle of income... as you see it is starting to run a bit faster and you'll soon be at the monthly payout. I have a great deal of faith that you are going to be able to pay your bills writing.
Me? I've done a few sites now and have spent thousands, and had income of $3.82 so far on the adsense, and about £5 on amazon. I have approached it from building my own sites, and for me that has been more satisfying because I like the technology, but I think your approach will be effective more quickly unless I have a big breakthrough. Constantly working on it though!
Take care.
Ken, that is very discouraging! All that work on putting up sites--you deserve more than that. I know Misha and Mark Knowles do what you do, and so does Lissie out Australia.
If it makes you feel any better, I bought a domain name in July 2008 and just got WordPress installed yesterday. I spent the rest of the time doing everything as wrong as possible and emailing tech support at my web hosting place. Now I have to get some themes loaded and build the resume and watch a video on subdomains--and I haven't made one red cent! So I'm in negative income territory with that one alright, but eventually (soon I hope!) the site will actually have something on it and should help me get freelance work.
Everything is harder than it looks. Once I get that site going, I will make some notes and send you an email about the websites you build and the offer you made--I did think of a few ideas, whether you put one up for me or not, maybe you could use some of them.
Hang in there. As jobs disappear we may as well keep at this--it's better than serving up fries at a bullet-proof drive though!
I was contracting at the time Pam, so it was all tax deductable - and I know it is going to work. I think my problem is I have not worked on finding what is read by surfers. I need to research more before I write. Typical programmer really, starts work before he knows what he is doing.
For example, of the ezine articles I have put up, the latest one has been read by almost three times as many people as the others. So now I am going to put up a better landing page for these people. Unfortunately, the article was probably the worst of the lot, so I am going have to rework it to try to divert more to my site.
As to the offer, let me know - I am just going to change the software so it works more like hubpages. That'll take a week or two, but will let me put up more complex pages.
Once you get your site going, let me know - I have a few sites that I can put links on to your site, and inbound links from established sites does raise the visibility and rankings on the search engines.
I put wordpress on a couple of my sites - the installation was really good, and it was a search engine optimised version that seems to work well. Again, it is spending the time on writing for it that I find I am short of!
You have google adsense, do you have their analytics? Sign up for it, I think HP must add the code into your pages. This lets you check where your visitors are coming from. For example, I know one of my visitors to the gundog-training site I have set up came from Hull, spent 28 minutes on the site and saw 29 pages. Don't know why, I don't think there was enough to keep anyone interested that long. :-)
Speak soon,
Ken
Thanks for the backlink offer Ken--I will definitely let you know when the site is up. Thanks also for the Google analytics tip. I'm finding that there is so much more to do in regard to maximizing revenue than I even expected, and I confess I skimp on that end of things. That will have to change. Thanks again and best of luck to you in 2009.
The best I did was #5 Inbound CSR for a Telecommunications company.
It is a pain adding Analytics into Hubs, only succeeded once. Let me know your trick
For me, analytics just happened! I assume that HP must add it into your pages when you sign up the adsense? Am I wrong? Wouldn't be a first, all I know is it just happened and it appeared. If you want to run through my setup, drop me an email - I am aware I am dragging Pam's hub off course and appear to have written nearly as much as she has - sorry Pam! :-)
Hey no problem! I've been out of town all day visiting my kids. I'll let you guys know how it came out after I get a chance to try adding it.
fantastic post thumbs up...
The mining business ! They dont't treat their employees like dirt, they treat them like s__t, because of strict environmental regulations. They treat the dirt better than their people ! I once heard the president of a mining company say, "When we run out of copper we can alway mine the shareholders" !
That's true! Mining should definitely be on the list. Used to be worse, but still horrible. Miners die every year due to the negligence and greed of the owners.
I absolutely love this article! I'm sending to my husband to read. It was very clever and very true, but that's why it was so funny. I can't wait to read more of your hubs.
Thank you mamacoots! I'm glad you like it. :o)
Enjoy reading this one.. got to share this to my cousins. Good hub!
I needed this uplifting article. I think your article was meant to warn and to educate people to not waste their times with these type of jobs. I found your article refreshing with your conversational tone and humor. I was about to grab the papers to look for any of the jobs you mentioned just to have a job. The kids are pushing me to work again after braving the torrents as a civil servant for some time.By the way office politics are alive and well in the government as well as private enterprise and caused me to opt for early retirement. As a college educated grad student, my credentials and hard work, supplemented with years of government buying experience contend with a welder being placed in what supposed to have been my large corner office with the window. The reason may sound sort of illogical or childish but my stamina had taken too many of those scenarios while employed with the government and I knew that when I did not get that job, it was time to move on. Neopotism is alive and well so I left looking for greener pastures. Instead I found almost all the jobs mentioned in your article and had to choose from the less of two evils. I have experienced most of those jobs more than once and I think the best of all of the evils is the inbound CSR. As an inbound CSR the customers are calling you and will not hang up on you. Although, my personality has been strengthened like granite now and I can handle rejection better than ever before. I have written over 150 poems and articles on Triond.com and about 50 Hubs on HP and prefer the latter because people actually talk to each other. I have reached my goal of having over 100 Hubbers to read one of my articles and to have increased readership to over 1000 in the spanse of three weeks of writing. I have been with Triond since December 30th and could have written more but I keep running to that paper looking for the jobs you wrote about that is in the paper week after week. I use HP to relieve the stresses of everyday life as well and hope to eventually start my own business. I was happy to see starting your own business was absent from your listings. So its a go on the start of my new business as soon as the weather warms and I can bring out my table of goods for resale. You got to start somewhere and I love to talk to people (I guess you can tell by the length of this comment) and I enjoy selling. But as of now, I am content where I am writing for Triond, HubPages and reading delightful articles that you and the other Hubbers are kind to write. By the way, do not go over to Twitter unannounced, I met a disturbing videographer who caused me to run to the papers again for the "crappy" jobs. I won't go into details what I found over at Twitter because the people over there are usually professional and well mannered. But I am content now that there are others like me who just need a boot up for the second career or to start a new business. I also have a blog at www.merchandisingselections@blogspot.com. Happy Writing.
Hi linda,
I'm not so different from you except I gave up on my inbound CSR job in October and have been grubbing for bucks online ever since. It's going Ok--I got quite ill by the time I left the CSR job, so I know I did the right thing, but it's hard seeing how bad it all has gotten. Good luck to you! It sounds like you are on your way to a better life, even though it isn't easy. Hang in there and thanks for commenting.
I am down today. I realize that I only started a month ago. But I wait for more traffic and I was up to 95 and now I am down to 92 and I have no clue. I went out. Was that it? Yes thousands of hits and 49 dollars is tough. No doubt about it.
Hi bgamall,
It just takes a long time to hit payout here--it's not your fault or your writing or anything. Right now it's very hard to make money anywhere, period, no matter how much skill or experience you have. Hang in there!
How long? Will these hubs of mine come to life in 6 months? And it is not that I am complaining. I have over 8000 visitors in my first month of actually doing anything here. And it is fun, well, the lists I make can be work. But that's ok. It beats a cleaning service which I noticed was not on your list. Lol.
You're right that telemarketers should really be no. 1. It's not a pleasant experience for anyone.
I think we all have sold our soul at one time or another. But for many of us it was a valuable lesson packed in a crummy job.
Great article I enjoy to read. I'll share this with my brother Thank you.
Hello PG
Read this and totally cracked up. Have done several of the jobs you mention in the past 53 years. Fled the U.S. in 2006 after not being able to take it anymore and am glad I did, but am about to flee Europe for South Africa now, since things here suck eggs, too.
Amazing how much we all put up with and seem to be willing to take. Instead of bailing out the banks, that money should have been given to each of us with the proviso that we have to pay all our bills and spend the rest. The economy would have been cured immediately, the banks would be rolling in cash, the tax system would be fixed and everything would be hunky-dory again....
Yeah, I know, I'm a genius. If I were in politics, I probably would have been assassinated already...
I agree! God, if they'd given it to people at the bottom, the whole mess would have been solved right now. What a clusterf*ck! Good luck in South Africa. :0)
Hehe, nice hub. The sarcasm is overwhelming. Great read.
Great hub! Thank you! Enjoyed it!
Terrific read. I love your sense of humor!
It sounds like you've actually done some of these jobs. I've been an outbound telemarketer, a fast food counter worker, and a CSR. The sad part is that I worked the telemarketing and fast food jobs to get through college, and then having finished college, I couldn't find any job other than CSR.
I found CSR to be better than telemarketing, but it's still basically like being paid to be cussed out and abused by something like 30 people a day. And they will hang up on you, but then they'll call back twice as mad, because they waited 20 minutes to talk to you in the first place, and now they had to do it again, so "you" have taken up an hour of their time. (which is much more valuable than yours, since they can actually afford the product your company sells, that its employees could never purchase on their wage.)
Michellcat--Yes I had that same experience, two degrees and all I could find was CSR jobs. I did that for eight years and I would rather dig ditches at this point than ever do it again. "Customer service" is a joke. These companies want to provide the ILLUSION of customer service, but customers are on to them. CSRs are just there to take the abuse that is meant for the CEOs--the CSRs shield the CEOs from the consequences of their greedy, inconsiderate decisions.
I've worked most of these jobs at one point or another, but I never worked for a pay day loan place or as a roofer.
My boyfriend got a degree, but no job... he's now 30k in debt due to old school loans. If you dont laugh about it, youll cry, its sad and pathetic. Yep minimum wage is worthless here.
I did a fast food gig for 10 years, I hated it, and they downsized me so much there that I felt I was worth no more than that shitty grease pit of a rat infested chain.
Ive got stories, lots of em, but writing them down just pisses me off, so I pass for now. ; )
Nice hub as usual P.
I actually worked at one of those big box stores. I won't say which one, but I had to wear a red shirt and khaki pants. I worked there a month, and I still remember the training stuff. Team this, guests that, teamwork, blah, blah, blah. I would have to fight with the manager to get my breaks, it was all kind of frustrating. My family owns a roofing business, and it stinks. Half the year, I never get to see my father, he's too busy working, and the other half of the year, he is bored out of his mind, and broke. Thankfully, no major accidents in all the years they have owned the business!!
Hi Mellas and Anna--Those big box stores are the pits. I had a little merchandising job in one of them over Christmas (crappy pay, crazy coworkers) and my boss told me that they now do time studies on the check out people and fire them in they don't live up to the time study, so no talking to customers, no being a human being. That store was so annoying. NO ONE ever know what was going on, ever. Fast food is the pits. I worked at McDonald's for a week in my 20s. I had nightmares the entire week. I didn't even want to pick up my check. When I finally did, they were all pitying me, like, "Wow, we couldn't believe you lasted a whole week." I washed out of McDonalds. It doesn't get worse than that.
I'm not sure that beign a roofer is that bad - laying tiles or slates, or thatching, is quite skilled and not badly paid at all.
Hi Pam,
Try this link for the popcopy video
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.">Dave Chapelle Popcopy</a>
A lot of them have to do with phones. Hmmmm........
Great writing style. Your hub was attention grabbing and an interesting read!
I love my job and I want to shake everyone who complains about theirs. Go find something else!
NO! I'm a roofer on 33/hr plus benefits. Our apprentices start at $25. It is a hot, dirty and at times dangerous job but injuries from falling are not the norm!! Once you are qualified, the opportunities are limitless and I've travelled internationally picking up decent paying work everywhere I've been.
Sadly, we are often looked down upon in English speaking countries, particularly by white collar professionals.
I worked part-time as a roofer through school and university, and the opportunites roofing has afforded me are infinitely more than my degree.
Great read! I had a dead end job once. Back when I was a student. I worked in a vegetable packing plant. Great piles of onions would be poured down a chute onto a conveyor belt where I stood. I had to quickly identify the rotten or damaged ones and throw them over the side. The onions were filthy with dirt and my face soon became quite black - especially around the nostrils. And of course I wept - all day. Both onion tears and real tears of despair!
Oh my! That DOES sound awful! Thanks for your comment Catherine. All the best to you! :)
I'm glad this came back to the current hubtivity, Pam. I don't think I read it before. You have a talent for making negative things very entertaining. Perhaps I wouldn't phrase it quite that way If I had ever been stuck in one of those situations.
As for the onion sorter, Catherine, I will never take my onions for granted again,
Thanks Rochelle! I try to maintain a sense of humor. I always know I'm in trouble and need a break when I stop being about to laugh about this stuff! :)
Sadly, I majored in English and have worked 2 of those jobs post graduation. Sigh.
Ho Flowerfeeder--Me, too. I've worked more of them than I care to admit!
Awesome hub. It made me chuckle, but there's definite truth behind it.
Why?
'cuz, F*** 'em. That's why.
That accidentally slipped out of me at work one day... It was a bad day...
And the worst of it was, nobody had a clue how funny it should have been.
I had to wait hours to laugh.
ha! this is a great read! The title is so perfect and the hub is ridiculously ingenius (and true).
Thanks izetti! I've had most of these jobs. (Never been a roofer though.)
I'm doing #10 right now. What you mentioned (the robbery) had a training video all to itself--fun stuff, huh? Several people I know are at #7 and they would COMPLETELY agree with you!
Great Hub, glad I found it. :-)
Thanks conundrum!
joke in england
what do you say to a university graduate
big mac and fries please
JUST NO JOBS TO BE HAD...... Great hub
Hi Brenda,
Wow, that's the truth here too. I mean there is NOTHING. Nada. Zilch. The PhDs can't beg borrow or steal a fry job. :)
I'll vouch for being a CSR. Doing tech support was equivalent to bashing my head into a wall with a grenade in my mouth every few hours.
But copywriters made this list? That's one of those dream jobs, if you can pull it off!
LOL! That's a perfect description!
I'm going to go for a positive note. The one good thing about some of these jobs is this. At the end of your shift you can go home and not think about it anymore.
There's no boss on a blackberry asking you to whip up the a powerpoint presentation at 11pm that he needs at 7am. Ugh!
Thanks for the tragic comedy! I now have a broad visual of coked out priests becoming the next mafioso like criminal gang!
-Trig
All I Can say is you are sooooooo right!
If anyone here wants to see this situation change they should:
--pressure their Congresspeople to support a strong version of the Kerry-Boxer Climate-Energy bill so we start to create green industry;
--pressure their Congresspeople to pass a strong public option in the health care bill so health insurance companies are forced to lower their rates and lift the burden on employers;
--pressure their Congresspeople to pass EFCA, the Employee Free Choice Act, which will strengthen the rights of workers to organize (and yes, you can still have a secret-ballot election under EFCA).
Bottom Line: To paraphrase Joe Hill--DON'T WHINE, ORGANIZE!
Hi Adam--Good points. I do think if EFCA ever passes it will immediately usher in a spate of workplace conflict and possibly workplace violence. I WANT to see EFCA pass, but it's funny to me how corporations are so frightened it will usher in all these labor unions instantly. Having worked in many of these kinds of jobs I can tell you there are always two camps: the camp the knows it's all crap and lies and would organize in heartbeat if it were even remotely possible, and the camp that tows the company line and will rat on the other camp and scream at them and die for the corporation.
I promise you that in both call centers where I worked, EFCA would have sparked employee violence--employee against employee. I don't see that as bad--it's a discussion we need to have. But we aren't having it yet. At one call center we had multiple screaming confrontations (employee to employee) at meetings over working off the clock--a practice technically banned by the corporation and yet jobs were set up so you could not make goals (on which your pay was determined) without doing just that. So half the people worked off the clock and kept their jobs, and the other half got into fights with them over it while the managers kept changing the subject. When people are scared about how they will live, they do the wrong things. They capitulate.
Also, I hate it when real complaints about workplace conditions and pay are referred to as 'whining'. Just a pet peeve of my own. If you can't name the problem, you can't fight the problem. In order to organize you have to have bargaining power. Management has to need labor. That's the problem right now--labor has no bargaining power. There is always an off-shore site with plentiful poor workers who will do anything for even less money; there is always a city father south that sees workplace abuses as normal. People are too scared to organize, and their fears are not imaginary. So while I take your point about social action and personal responsibility, I also recognize larger forces are at work and I do not blame workers.
don't worry. im gonna change all of those jobs. im just gonna have to increase income taxes 500%
hot dorkage says:
15 months ago
this would be funny if it were a joke. Very well done, 100% true and thumbs up. I am sending it to my son.