How to Get Revenge
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Reasons to Get Revenge
The list of reasons why you might want to get revenge are endless, but if you are reading this I am guessing that either you are simply curious as to the content of this article, or you already have a person, people or company in mind that you feel have damaged you in some way and deserve punishing.
Some of the main reasons you may wish to get revenge are as follows:
1) A Husband, Wife, Boyfriend or Girlfriend has been unfaithful to you.
2) An ex-partner has told lies about you to others, inferring you were the cause of all problems in the former relationship, whilst they were simply the victims.
3) Your neighbours are noisy, rude or inconsiderate towards you.
4) A fellow employee is "bitching" about you behind your back, or generally making your working life day to day unbearable.
5) Your employer has found a way to dismiss you, which although unfair, has made it unlikely you will be successful in any case against their company.
Whichever category your revenge need falls into, most of the following top tips can be used to give you a great sense of satisfaction, and a feeling that justice has finally been done, or at least you feel much better about the situation, especially knowing that some of your frustrations have been vented, and wrongs put right.
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Revenge Top Tips
1) Assuming you know the vehicle your "target" drives, then using a suitable implement, or rubber gloves, get a generous handful of dog poo and squidge it firmly under the door handles of the vehicle. I shall leave it to your imagination what happens when they next go to use the car, Yuk!
2) Similar to number 1, using dog poo again, force a generous amount into the air vents at the top of the bonnet. This will merrily waft through the interior of the vehicle next time the heaters or fans are switched on.
3) Block the exhaust pipe of their vehicle with a large potato. This is an old trick, and will prevent the vehicle starting. You would be amazed how long it takes for most people to realise why their vehicle will not start up though, and by the time they do they have often already called out a mechanic before the cause of their problem came to light.
4) Wait until the target goes away on holiday, then put a load of water through their letter box using a plastic bottle, watering can etc. Follow this with a generous few handfuls of fast growing grass seed and await their return!!!
5) Fill in every coupon, online form etc you can find that is likely to result in junk mail. Use their name and address for delivery. If you do this correctly they will have piles and piles of junk mail arriving on a daily basis virtually forever. If you are really vindictive, and you know your target is a married man, then you can also ensure that as many lingerie, "seedy" and gay magazine type catalogues are included in the mailings sent to them. Look in the back of national papers for adverts that will give you ideas, and who will allow you to sign up for free catalogues.
6) Another old idea, but if you do have access to a key to their home whilst they are away on holiday, then try dialling the Australian speaking clock from their phone and simply leaving the phone off the hook until they return from their holiday.
7) Try to obtain a picture of your target, and create an advert that you can place on notice boards and in phone boxes advertising their dubious "services", and including their telephone number.
8) Write a hub article that states exactly what this person, company, etc did to you, but only use their first names. If you include your picture, actual first names of people who were involved etc, you are unlikely to be in a position to be prosecuted for libel, (especially if you can back up the facts with evidence or witness statements), but anyone who knows you, the company or the first names involved, will quickly work out exactly who the feature refers to, and your side of events is there for the whole Internet to read.
9) Scatter bird seed all over their vehicle in the middle of the night, so that by the time they wake up the car has had so many feathered visitors that it is literally covered in bird S**t from boot to bonnet.
10) Phone up loan companies using the target's name and phone number. Many of these loan companies, or brokers for loan companies, are virtually impossible to get rid of and will keep phoning them for many months afterwards even when told multiple times that a loan is not required.
11) If you have a key to the target's home then try turning up their heating to maximum and then putting superglue on the switch. This is especially effective in midsummer.
12) Placing a handful of pebbles within the wheel trims of a car will cause significant damage when the car is driven.
13) Obtain a free sample of hair shampoo or conditioner by approaching a company online. Carefully empty the majority of the product from the bottle and replace with hair removal cream. Using a scan of the manufacturers letterheaded paper (erasing the text), type a new letter offering this sample to your target and suggesting that for best effect they leave the product on for at least ten to fifteen minutes. The results will be very satisfying.
14) Send your ex a picture of you looking extremely happy with your new partner, nothing will bug them more!
15) Get a roll of cling film and surround their car in it so the doors won't open.
16) Wait until your boss is due to host a slide presenation in front of clients, and try to smuggle a pornographic slide into the mix. Just be very careful that there is no way it can be proved you were behind this, or you could find it very hard to secure future employment.
17) Spread rumours that your ex was terrible in bed, and that this is why the relationship really ended.
18) Call the target's place of work and tell them that you are their specialist, and that you need to speak to the target asap regarding a possible infection risk to the public.
19) Flood their email accounts with SPAM mail. Follow this link for further information.
20) A brilliant but really cruel idea to inflict on an unfaithful partner.
With thanks to "h2o Polo Player" at www.ebaumsworld.com
I found out that my soon to be ex wife had been havin lunch time sex with a mutual "friend"...after she left for work, I boiled water and reduced most of a tube of Sex Lube in to the sink. I mixed the remainder with Epoxy and Cayenne pepper and put it back in the bedside drawer.
Two days later I got a frantic call from a neighbor that an ambulance was at our house and they could here some one screaming in panic...yep.
It took several hours of flushing with and cleaning with solvents and saline to unstick and clear everything up. I am told that there was a lot of raw skin and welts with a few blisters involved also. His wife threw all his stuff out of the house on to the front lawn and my soon to be ex spouse took a leave of absence because of embarrassment...that was three years ago and I still laugh about it all the time.
The statute of limitations just ran out on any charges that could have been filed...
totally awsome!
Conclusion
So basically your only restrictions are your imagination and the risks of getting caught. Be careful that what you do is not so illegal that you are likely to cause any major Police investigations, as often the best revenge tactics are the simplest.
Some people will say "move on, enjoy your life, that is the best revenge", but I am afriad for many of us that simply isn't enough, and we will carry that anger around with us until the end of our days unless we feel the person or people who caused us this pain have been punished. Trust your instincts, and don't do anything that will cause you to end up in jail, (nothing is worth losing your own freedom for).
There is no doubt that you will feel much better when you see the causes of your anguish experiencing major anguish of their own!
- Fired Travel Agent Reveals How To Get Dirt Cheap Air Fare Tickets.
I Was Fired By The Airlines, So This Is My Revenge! This Angry Ex-travel Agent Will Reveal The Deepest, Darkest Secrets Of The Airline Industry To Show How You Can Obtain Tickets At Ridiculously Low Costs!
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Comments
Revenge is such a personal wates of energy; however, it is important to address anguise - this is how I dealt with residual disappointment in a former co-worker http://www.qassia.com/thank-you-stupidvisor - if you like to submit one just click on my name in submitted by and sign-up ;)
Wish I'd thought of poop under the door handle years ago. My not-yet-ex-husband worked the late shift, and every night would come out, start the car (so it'd be warm to take his new girlfriend to breakfast), then go back inside for 10 minutes. One *very* cold night not long after I learned about the gf, I parked across the street and as soon as he went back inside, I opened the drivers side door, unlocked because his key was in the ignition, pushed "Lock", closed the door, then went back to my car and waited for the show to begin. First disbelief, then a lot of stomping around the car. Then he tried to "pop" the lock with a coat hanger, but it wasn't that kind of lock. Then he opened the hood...not sure why...a Guy Thing, I guess. Then more stomping around, which was my cue to back out of the parking spot, honk and wave as I drove off with the extra key. Poor baby had to call a locksmith (cash only) which pretty much killed breakfast and whatever else was on the menu that night. ;)
But the best is how a friend and I totalled her ex-husband's car without ever going near it. Some sort of "special" model of which there were only 16 in the state. His pride and joy. One night, before we knew to be *very* careful about putting wishes into the cosmos, we intently "wished" that something really bad would happen to the car, but no one could get hurt and my friend couldn't be blamed. A neighbor of mine happened to be his best friend and 2 days later he ran into my house saying there was nothing left of Phil's car but a pile of (window) glass. A drunk - a total stranger to all of us - had come down the street in the middle of the night, swerved into Phil's car parked at the curb...somehow missing the cars parked behind and in front...then got out, went up to the house, knocked on the door, and said "I think I just hit your car". He not only *hit* it, he totalled it, but wasn't hurt! Even spookier, a week after Phil took possession of another car exactly like the first, he was at his daughter's softball game and somebody "keyed" it (put a deep scratch along the entire driver's side). Again, nothing for which my friend could be blamed, but we laughed for days while repeating "Damn, we're GOOD" with a certain amount of surprise and awe. After that, we were *very* careful about what we "wished" for.
Normally i am not in favor of revenge, but I think JamaGenee may have got it right.
Absolutely Rochelle , this sounds like a true case of Karma and sweet revenge all rolled into one. Well done and thank you for your comments. I really hope JamaGenee that both you and your friend find more loyal partners in the future, and ones who will truly love you and make you happy.
Thanks Rochelle and Misty. Alas, my friend passed away a few years ago, but she did have a loyal partner for many years. The Love of My Life, whom I met after shedding the jerk in the first payback, is also in the Hereafter, but "stops by" ocasionally and lately has also been using a cousin as a messenger. (She is NOT amused!) Several years ago I adopted Wicca for the same reasons you described, Misty, in a comment on another hub and now keep the Rule of Three in mind when thoughts of revenge pop up. Which pretty much kills *many* great ideas for paybacks...until I figure out how to structure them so they won't boomerang back threefold. ;)
I actually first discovered Paganism in the form of Wicca myself, although nowadays I am more of a spiritualist than a Wiccan. I am so sorry to hear that your friend died, as well as the love of your life. Strangely enough my late Husband also was my saving grace after a very bad and violent relationship I was in for three years previously, so it all comes back to everything happening for a reason I guess, and he was sent to rescue me from a really bad situation. Perhaps your late partner did the same for you, or at least helped you to move on with your life afterwards.
The rule of three can be pretty offputting I admit, but Karma can do alot of the work for you, and as long as you stay away from black magic I would not worry too much, simply ask the powers that be for justice to be done, or take action that cannot involve too bad a pay back, e.g. the poo under the doorhandles LOL.
I wonder how that would work out for your karma :)
LOL, good point, but sometimes worth the risk. I am not infallible, merely human :)
While many of us might not get down to actually doing any of this stuff, it's SUCH fun to imagine!!! Great hub! Are/were you really a Wiccan? You must be one of the world's special people! :)
Hi, thanks for commenting. Yes I am Wiccan in my beliefs, although I don't practice rituals thesedays and am more of what your might call a Spiritual Person and a Pagan.
I can't honestly say I have tried many of the ways to get revenge as listed above, but know of people who have and it is quite funny to imagine your two timing ex finding a load of dog poo under their car doorhandles, or getting home to find a lawn growing inside their front door.
I wouldn't say I am a special person, I just like to think I am a good and honest one.
Aren't we all, Mistyhorizon? :)
I liked the letterbox, the water and the grass seed one. It is such a good visual image.
Thanks DougsHub, yes it does make for an amusing image doesn't it!
Wow mistyhorizon - Great tips for revenge!!! Hilarious.....
Thanks April Fool, I reckon they could be fun too :)
Ouch I dont think I want to be on th wrong side you LOL. But the images conjured up are pretty hilarious. Just the mental images you have planted in my mind were great entertainment.
Funny Hub!
I couldn't do any of these, I don't think, but they were a ton of fun to read. I've also read of women putting shrimp in the curtain hems or down the back of the couch just before they leave the guy for good, swishing his toothbrush in the toilet and then returning it to where he keeps it. I believe I read that one woman sewed something really smelly into the lining of her hubby's suitcoat.
So many fun ways to get even! No one gets hurt and you can feel vindicated. Also, if you keep it mild enough, the karma shouldn't hurt so much when it boomerangs.
Great hub, Misty.
Thanks Shirley, so glad you enjoyed it, and I love your ideas for further ways to get revenge.
Funny hub, great way to get traffic. Plenty of people seek revenge for their own personal satisfaction.
Thanks coolbreeze, glad you enjoyed it :)
well she kinda cntrl freak so well she thought she was just playing along to make me jealous but i didnt buy that..and now I have someone better..who does not believe in such stupid adultiries..and now she keeps reminding me how good she was at this or that blah blah..(cant aviod her fully as my ex is my classmate and my gf is my junior).......
any advice..(leave as fanmail or comment so that I find it ..)
Sounds like you need to read my hub on living with a control freak : http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Ex-was-a-Control-Freak
You should leave her behind and move on. Ignore her, you have a new and better women in your life :)
Misty, this is a great hub, dont know how I misssed it! Me thinks all this revenge is very serious, and also quite a giggle.
a tip - Get hold of his car keys, and have a nice 3 day old kipper or even a crab, Slip the above, either or, into the cars air filter. The other, preferably the kipper you tape to the exhaust manifold. This is most effective if he or she is going to be parked for a couple of days at the airport or docks.
Have a grand day!!!!!!!!!
Hi Rodney, Thanks for the new and great ideas. Glad you loved the hub :)
Wow, revenge is deffinetely served very professionally by you misthorizon!
This hub title reads very definitely to me, i see a title that says "20 Reasons Not To Mess With Misty" !! lol
LOL compu-smart, I guess I have had so many people who have 'messed with me' in the past that I have had plenty of opportunities to think up ways to get my own back on them :)
I hope to never get on your bad side :) Some really creative ideas.
LOL RGraf, I am sure you are not one of the people likely to get on my bad side ever :)
hahahah. Funny hub and interesting read. I wish I've done it in the past when I soooo needed it. No one has done anything to me at the moment but I will get back to the poop as soon as I get a name in the future that will reqally piss me off.
cheers.
Thanks Sheena, the poop idea is one of my personal favourites :)
Haha, lot's of interesting ideas for the slightly twisted of mind. Nothing wrong with causing a little discomfort on occasion :)
Absolutely Benjimester, and thanks for dropping in and commenting :)
Some of these ideas were good. But what do you do, when your husband has a fling with your best friend and you decide to stay with him. I want revenge on HER. She knew all our problems and capitalised on them for herself..! Things must go horribly wrong for her, for years to come. Was thinking of trashing her new car... and then again after it gets fixed..!!
Wow there are some great ones here. "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn". I heard of another act of revenge on Ebay. A woman sold her boyfriends luxury sports car for something like 5 pounds, I remember seeing. She was really irrate after he cheated on her.I thought 'Go Girl'.
if you have their ss# try calling the power company on thursday evening and have their power shut off friday evening, after they move out of-course. It'll cost them an extra $75 to get it turn-on on the weekend or if they call monday morning it'll be about wed. before they get it back on,
Wicked idea, and well worth adding to the suggestions. Thanks :)
Hi Debbie, always hard to get over being angry with the best friend, even though really the boyfriend is the most at fault. Sounds like you have some pretty good ideas of your own, but the ideas in this article are unisex, so you could still use them on her too. Good luck :)
Suggestion #5 has piqued my interest! Very interesting because it does not involve damaging or potential damage to anything the "target" owns - but will be extremely annoying.
Thanks mythbuster, great to see you here and receive your comments. Let me know how you get on if you try this form of revenge :)
You have some awesome ideas here. I wish I could do some of these things but my Karma comes around much too quickly.
Try to think of it as "making sure the other person gets their Karma, and you are just helping things along", that way you might earn some good Karma points Queenbe ;)
I kinda wish I would get revenge on folks but never had the guts to do so. I like the evil idea giving them tons of junk mail! Especially if you can order some gay magazines for them. I might as well hired you to do the job.hehe
LOL, just let me know Mayhmong, I am happy to help :)
Cindy,
You are a very resourceful gal!
Here's one:
I'm not sure it will work on current model cars, but for the older ones. Run a 14 ga wire through the firewall. Hook the end that is under the hood to the (-) side of the coil. You will want to remove the coil wire for this! Otherwise he might not be able to let go of the key!
On the inside of the car, run the wire down along the carpet edge and wrap the bare wire around the seat base. This can be a very electrifying experience to the person that tries to start the car!
Jeff
Jeff, that sounds way beyond my basic skills, I would need to recruit a male friend for that one, but would be tempted to give it a go :)
Thanks for the tip :)
My best revenge story was when my ex decided to dump me for another girl who was a freshman and we were juniors at the time. This was years ago, but he dumped me because he thought I wasn't worth it and she was prettier. Later that week, she dumped him because all she had really wanted was a free ticket to the homecomming dance. This guy gave up all of his real friends so that he could date a girl that was only after one thing. He is still single, having problems finding a real group of friends, and trying to get me back. Sometimes, you don't have to do anything, life just gives you a little break. :)
Nice one Ella, sometimes Karma just kicks in exactly when you need it to, and sounds like you escaped just in time if you ask me :)
zimbra says:
18 months ago
Wow... You're clearly not a person to be messed with! Very entertaining Hub :)