"Going Rogaine" Turning 50 sucks!
76Fateful letter from AARP
My sister called and asked me if I was going to write a Hub about turning 50. "No way", I replied. I had decided to ignore the whole ugly situation.I am in serious denial.
She then offfered me a Victor Hugo quote.. "The 40s are the old age of youth, but the fifties are the youth of old age". I have yet to decide if that is comforting or terrifying.
I quickly decided to get my mind off of the subject of death and immerse myself in the mundane aspects of life. Those simple things that distract your thoughts from the morbid. "I'll go check the mail" I thought to myself.
As I neared the mailbox, the sun was shining, and the thought occured to me that I didn't feel any different than I did ten years ago. I was feeling better already. I pulled the stack of bills and advertising from the box, and began to sort thru them.
The first envelope was from a company offering me a "great deal" on burial insurance. I was in no mood for a sales pitch from the grim reaper, so I quickly shuffled that letter to the back of the pile.
The second letter was great news indeed! It was a bright red, white and blue envelope from my new friends at AARP. They were giving me a free 1 month membership, to mark my 50th birthday!I figured, "How can death and old age compare to 10% off hotels, and 25 cent McDonald's coffee?"
The day got worse! As I was brushing my teeth, I noticed in the mirror, that my goatee, (which I have had for 15 years) was blanketed with gray .I sat there in shock, and decided to take drastic action. I went to Rite Aide and bought dye, and applied it to my whitening beard.
I was supposed to leave it on for 5 minutes, but the phone rang. I got involved talking(actually whining) to my mother for about 30 minutes.I forgot all about the dye on my beard. I was horrified when I went to the mirror and found my jet black beard! It looked absurd!
Well, needless to say, I had no choice but to shave the damn thing off. My razor revealed, much to my dismay, a myriad of wrinkles and lines, that I never imagined lurked beneath the whiskers.
As I sat there depressed, my mind drifted back to my youth, and all those years I had wished away. Can't wait to be 13...I'll be a teenager...Can't wait to be 16.. I can drive... Can't wait to be 18.. I'll be a legal adult! And of course, the grandest aging milestone of all...21!! drinking clubbing...full fledged adulthood!.
I was even mildly enthused about turning 25 and lowering my insurance rates.But never, I repeat ..NEVER....have I said "Man I can't wait for 50, so I can join AARP!
Life goes flowing along like a quiet country stream. You don't even notice the water is flowing by, except for the floating leaf or twig, marking its movement. We then realize that the same water we were looking at an hour ago, is now miles down stream, and has been replaced by different water.
My wonderful kids were born. It seems I went to a few parent teacher conferences,watched a few karate tournaments and baseball games,assembled a couple of bikes, and dined at Chucky Cheese birthday bashes several times, and Viola! I notice grown adults, who, yesterday, were little kids!..
Well , Hubbers, I always try to end stories with a positive cup half full... silver lining upbeat ending! Sorry..Can't do it this time. Turning 50 just plain sucks!
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Comments
C'mon you two.... been there done that, bought the tee shirt, wrote a hub about 50 and even 60. It's not so bad.
Yesterday we did get a mail ad for cremation services. My husband asked if we had to make an appointment.
LOL, Rochelle. I had a call from a company wanting to sell me a cemetary plot. I just told them that I wasn't planning on dying.
Mike, I'm sure you can find many helpful hubs on how to look and feel younger, you old goat.
Teresa:thanks! Good to know Im not alone! Rochelle: You are right..it beats the alternative! Golden toad! You are always a comfort! lol! Thanks, All...Mike
Happy Birthay! Cheer you up! Real age is in the heart...be positive!
Love and Hugs.
Ohh..this HUB was great man.
Some silver lining for you, not for me though. I get some gray on my goatee at 42 !! I love the part about the phone ringing and forgetting the dye. that's right out of a comedy episode. classic stuff.
lol! Yeah mike the salesman meets i love lucy! Thanks oc
hahaha.toadie got you on his comment. But you know Men never grow old just the cows. :) Miss yah, Mike. Tc
Miss you too dear! How are ya??? Toad is a great writer And he did get me! Let's give the toad an academy aWART!
hehehe. I'm doing great. And very Happy. :) Happy Birthday to you!
hi mike, i turned fifty last november and seriously beleive that 50is the new forty..the last of my kids moved out and the house is now my own again..Now watch out caus i sincerely aim to make the most of it
dude I'm old too but I feel good I still kick ass hell yeah!
Dude you,re scarin me ! I am not that far behind you,I do however take comfort In the fact that I am extremely Immature for my age .
Tony! stop it! You are still a pimp! Thanks for reading!
Hawk! u r right..there are benifits!... Raider..I still kick ass too, but with my alzhiemers, I forget who's ass I'm kickin!
Turning Fifty is FUNTASTIK! I am lying! Great Hub! :)
Thanks Tom! lol
I just made the fateul decision to hack off my hair (actually the hairdresser calls it a pixie cut) and let my color go whatever color it was meant to be. Honest color is better than scary dye jobs and roots peeking out every other day. But seriously turning 50 is way better than the alternative.
Mike, Fifty is within the less than 10 years away! Does AARP alway keep track of people so well? LOL, I was not nice whe I turned 40!
I had to laugh at this one. I'm turning 50 soon also. It is hard for me to believe and I'd rather pay full price, thank you, than get the AARP discount.
lol lol you are so right! somethings are not worth the price! IE handicap parking spots! Thanks Connie! BTW..You don't look 50!
Fortunately, the small pic hides the worst of the aging. Unfortunately, I am aging at a drastic rate. However, I appreciate the compliment, thank you very much. That pic was taken last year, so add another layer of wrinkles to it lol. However, I am hoping that old saying I heard was right and that life begins at 50.
well, i found atleast it didn't completly END at 50! You gave me a great idea..I need a smaller picture!..lol Wish I looked as good as you! lol You see wrinkles that I am sure you only see! Thanks for reading!
Turning 50 didn't bother me, I looked at it as the half way mark since I plan to live to at least 100. Turning 60 this year, however, just seemed older than I could possibly be. Actually, I've found that age means nothing, unless you let it.
Im glad I read this. Now that I'm 51, turning 50 seems a long time ago. Rats.
you don't mean "rats" you mean "possums".If I looked like you Annette, I wouldn't mourn 50 as bad! You don't look anywhere near it! Thanks for reading!
Turning 50 was no big deal for me, because I smugly still felt young. I didn't have much grey hair and barely a wrinkle, and I was still a reasonable weight.
Fast forward, I'm now halfway to 60 and boy, did the picture of Dorian Gray come out of the closet! Wrinkles and grey hairs appeared from nowhere and I gained 20 pounds without even blinking. What happened? NOW I'm wishing I had appreciated being 50 more...
Mike, you forgot that once you turn 50 you have the privilege to turn that number backwards. You can go backwards. Next year you will be 49...then 48 etc. I stopped going forward as of December I will be 54 again the year after 53 when I get to 49 I will stop having birthdays altogether...
Cheer-up and Happy Birthday
regards Zsuzsy
I found this site as I googled "Turning 50 Alone" after being depressed because my Kids wont give me Party.. I actually was looking forward to celebrating 50 but it seems nobody in my family is excited for me and that bothered me but in 2 wks, if I live, I will be 50 and I'll celebrate alone if I have to..Shopping of course :)
Mike, I agree turning 50 sucks, the AARP scenerio was as if you were hiding in my bushes. I hit the dreaded # last May. Being female i can't even begin to hide those lines.... wrinkles..... crevasses...... and *gulp* even canyons that seem to appear overnight with any kind of facial hair no matter how bad the dye job. But I too feel as if I can still kick ass and do.....but OMG the aches and pains that also materialize afterward i don't know about others but sometimes it's just not worth it. Although I will NEVER admit I said that to anyone who knows me in real life. LOL. The Country song says it all "I ain't as good as I once was but I am as good once as I ever was".
lol That is too funny! Thanks Ruby!Atleast you are fortunate that u CANT grow the facial hair! lol Thanks for writing!
lol That is too funny! Thanks Ruby!Atleast you are fortunate that u CANT grow the facial hair! lol Thanks for writing!
Mike the salesman, you cracked me up! You look fabulous!Thanks for sharing. It was truely an unique birthday gift which I received, my dear! Don't be too hard on yourself:)
I turned 49 today, and I'm super depressed over it. It's just so unreal - I have always been a youngster, and then now suddenly I'm turning 50. I just can't tolerate it - but on the other hand, what choice do I have? So, in case you didn't know, you're not alone! There are millions of 50-year olds, or almost 50-year olds, who share your depression and despair.
Teresa McGurk says:
9 months ago
Cheers, mate: you're not alone. I turn fifty next week; like you, I tried to deny the fact to myself and like you, I've been noticing wrinkles. No point in denying the fact that we're getting old. But now we know how to value every year as it goes by, so congrats. on making fifty, and here's to fifty more! T. McG.