While there are many mysteries that still surround the birth of twins and multiples in today's society these births are becoming more and more common. While many people attribute the rise of multiples to the use of fertility treatments there is a still a lot to learn about if you are going to be a parent to these babies.

Twins fraternal versus identical
Twins come in two different "types". Fraternal twins are produced as the result of the fertilization of two completely separate and different eggs at the time of conception. Most twins that are the result of assisted reproduction are fraternal twins. Identical twins are formed as the result of the splitting of one fertilized egg into two fetuses. While no one has clearly identified why identical twins occur scientists have shown that the tendency toward identical twins tends to run in families.

How and when do you learn if you are carrying twins or more?
Only a few years ago most women who were pregnant with multiples did not find out until they were in labor. But these kinds of late-term surprises are rare today. Women will typically discover they are having more than one baby during a routine ultrasound that is often done in the first trimester. Your healthcare provider will most likely recommend an ultrasound in your first trimester if you are unusually large for your gestation date. While the most likely explanation is that you or your practitioner miscalculated your conception date having the ultrasound done will help determine how far along you really are and whether your size is due to your carrying more than one baby.

If you are pregnant as a result of a fertility treatment such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), you will probably have an ultrasound within the first eight weeks to count the number of embryos that have implanted. Ultrasound is almost foolproof at revealing multiple pregnancies, particularly after six to eight week but you should keep in mind that the more babies you are carrying; the easier it is for one to get overlooked.

The planning for twins
Since most women know that they will be having multiples long before their due date it is important to being planning early on. There are support groups and resources within the community that can help prospective parents examine the unique issue that surround having multiples. Many of the basics of child care must be examined in a new light with the knowledge that more than one baby will be arriving. Logistics of where the babies will sleep, how will you choose to feed them (while twins and other multiples can be breastfed it does take planning ahead), what sort of baby equipment will you have to buy and many more practical issues. In addition prospective parents will have to closely examine their financial situation since the birth of multiples may put a unique strain on the pocketbook. While there is no way to anticipate everything planning and making decisions before you are involved in the daily routine of baby care will help insure a smoother transition to becoming a family.

It is also not to early to begin thinking about how you want to parent your multiples. Parents of twins and other multiples often will feel pressured to instill a sense of individuality in their children. They may even be dissuaded from doing anything that elevates their multiples' unity(such as naming them with similar names, dressing them alike or keeping them together in the same class once they start school). Most child development experts feel that most multiples will create an individual identity for themselves as they grow up, whether their parents like it or not! Parents need to realize that they do not control their children's sense of self, but they can encourage it. With that goal in mind, here are some suggestions for cultivating a sense of individuality in each of your children whether they are twins, multiples or a single:

• Spend one on one time with each child. It is widely recognized that children of all ages and stages love to have their parents' exclusive attention. When children within a family are of several different ages, it seems easier to meet that need. This is often because opportunities are built into the different routines of each child's life stage: eldest children have the spotlight until a younger sibling is born, but as they spend more time in school and activities, the younger children take the floor. However if you are twins and multiples you are forced to share your parents (and grandparents!) time and attention for much of your lives. Therefore parents have to craft opportunities for one-on-one time. This is time that is well spent, however, as an opportunity to get to know each multiple on an individual basis.
• Do not refer to them as a "unit." Whenever possible, it is best to avoid labeling your children as "the twins" or "the triplets" As parents recognize that they are individual children, so will they. It is a challenge; it takes double (or triple) the effort to call out their names separately. It is also important that parents gently discourage others from referring to them as a single unit.
• Reward/punish individually. Many adult twins often report a common theme of resentment when they remember being punished for a crime committed by their twin. As parents of multiples, it is important to realize that it's just far too easy to mete out punishment on an all-for-one/one-for-all basis. Parents need to understand that that although they often act like a twin tag team of terror, it's vital to recognize and address each individual's role in their antics.
• Select individual activities for each multiple. Strongly encourage each of the multiples to seek out individual activities and interests. Do not prevent them from participating in activities together; just be sure that they pursue an interest that is unique to them. While it may make for some complicated carpool scheduling, the benefits can be invaluable, offering them an opportunity to develop individual talents and explore new relationships outside of their relationship with their sibling.
• Encourage individual friendships and separate play dates for each of your children. Multiples can often be each other's best friends, and that special relationship should be celebrated and cherished. But parents should understand that it should not be an exclusive relationship. Be sure to encourage your children to develop their own friendships in a healthy way. Parents of multiples often report that it is easier to set up play dates for each one; by scheduling them concurrently (one twin invites a friend to the house while the other visits a friend's house) so that no one feels lonely or left out.
• Adjust the standards and expectations for individual child. Parents of multiples must understand the importance of remembering that their children are individuals. While good parents want to be consistent in the way they treat each child, it's important to avoid imposing an unfair double standard on twins. The bottom line is that even though they may look and act identically, they are different people, with different needs, strengths and weaknesses. It may not be easy to maintain this attitude. Parents need to constantly remind themselves to keep their expectations in check with their individual needs and issues.
• Point out and praise unique characteristics of each child. People have always been infinitely curious about how twins are alike and different. You can use that curiosity as an opportunity to point out and praise unique characteristics of each child, giving each child a chance to share the spotlight. By focusing on the good, but different, qualities in each child you build their self-esteem about themselves beyond the context of their twin-ship.

•     Celebrate the individual achievements of each child. Do not let the possibility of jealousy and hurt feelings keep you from celebrating each child's successes.  Each child (whether multiple or not) needs to learn how to manage competition.  Validate the child's feelings of success and when the time comes celebrate the other's individual success with equal enthusiasm.
•     Preserve individual memories for each child. Many adult twins report a regrettable lack of individual pictures of themselves (especially as infants). While it may be difficult to get one photo moment captured, much less separate shots of each child it is important to at times. This can be done even with the challenge to identify "who-is-who" once the pictures are developed. But keep in mind that everyone deserves their own set of baby pictures and their own baby book. It is important to take the time to record each child's memories through photographs and writings.
•     Identify possessions as his, hers or ours. Since twins and other multiples begin life by sharing a womb parents can help strengthen a sense of individuality by making sure their children's possessions are clearly identified. Each multiple should have something to call their own, (whether it is toys, books or clothes). This need often increases as twins grow up, and parents can help by creating and enforcing rules that respect individual privacy and property.