Is it very hard to raise kids these days.? Yes!! The word internet should bring shivers down the spines of parents. As kids grow into teenagers, it gets even more difficult to deal with them. First, they think they know what they do not. Second, they feel invincible. Third, they don't think things through before they act. But they are young and inexperienced. That is were you as the parent enter.The key thing in understanding your teenager is paying attention to the things that are important to them and what's going on in their world.

Be there number one influence: It is so important that your influence topples all the other stuff that they will be getting out in the world. Influence doesn't mean control their every move. It means that what you say to matters them. They watch how you deal with others. No matter how much we hate it, we can't watch them 24/7. How you influence them is in your everyday living with them. This is what they will take out into the world. Good and bad. You have to reflect a positive atmosphere and not just say it do it. "Do as I say and not as I do" is the dumbest statment ever made. Not only does is not make sense it doesn't work. They are watching you from the day they are born and learning. Teens do what you do. If your a addict, guess what. If you lie all the time guess what. No one said you are going to the perfect parent. Your only human. The perfect parent doesn't exists. Always remember to be real with them about whats going on. Share some of your experiences as a teen with them. Your weren't always your age. You will be surpised that they did listen to you and how much influence you actually have in their lives.

Get to know who they are and what they are doing: Have you ever heard the saying " What you don't know want hurt you."That's another saying that doesn't make sense. It is important to know who are kids are? You better believe it. Some parents believe that their teen should have privacy. Guess what, Your house your rules. Yes, you need to snoop. Should you read their diary? I would. I just wouldn't tell them. You have to ask questions and talk to them to find out what they are thinking and learning. If you learn your teens moods and behaviors you will know when something is going on with them. Spend some time with them. Have a special day in the week when you and your teen just hang out together. Find out your teen's likes and dislikes. What views they have on current events and world issues.. As parents we need to take an active part in out kids lives. You need to find out what types of things they are into, what their hobbies are, and what type of people they surround themselves with. For the parents that disagree with snooping, I bid you the best of luck. It is so dangerous not to snoop and pry. The sucide rate in teenagers is very high. Some kids play games that could hurt them or someone else. Some teens are using drugs and alcohol to deal with their probelms.Child predators, crime and gangs claims teenagers due to parents unattentiveness to their children. It so easy for young people to go astray when your not paying attention to them. If that doesn't scare you, then you should get scared. I'm not saying the they shouldn't have some privacy. But too much privacy is a dangerous thing. Snooping and going through your teens room from time to time is called parenting. The only people who have complete privacy are renters and homeowners. Ask your teen how they feel about current events or find something they are interested in and do it with them. Know what is going on in their world. Remember your job is to take care and protect your children. You can't fufill someones needs if you don't know who they are or what they are doing.

Get to know their friends: Some teens make friends with who they feel confortable with. Some make friends with certain people for other reasons. Not all the relationships your teens will make will be good . We can't pick their friends but you can get to know somewhat of who they hang out with. Encourage them to invite they friends over so you can examine their interactions with them. Take your teen and their friends out to eat and talk about the weather or plans for the future. Talk to them about their friends. Ask questions. What are they like? Why do you hang out with them? You want to know what your teen does when they hang out with their friends. Keep in mind that you won't find out everything. But it will shed some light on who your teen is. Your are the company you keep to some point. Remember their friends don't know what's best for them. You do. And friends are usually who your teen will be asking for advice.Their friends don't have the life experiences that you do. Not all the advice they will get from their friends will be bad. Teens do understand each other better than we do. But its not their job to your parent. Its yours.

Get involved with their education: This is a top priority. This is also a great topic to talk about when your hanging out with your teen. You need to know how they are doing in school and what subjects they are taking. This enables you to direct them and encourage them to go into the right career path of their choice. Join the PTA if you can or volunteer at your kids school functions and be a part of their educational process. Get to know your teens teachers and make some unexpected visits out to his or her school. You can't help if you don't know what their grades are or what classes they find difficult. If your teen needs help with certain classes you can get a tutor. Remember education is an investment in your childs future that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Importance of family support: Without your support life can be very difficult for a young person. They need to know that now matter what they do; you will always be there for them. Give them positive feedback when they bring home that great report card. Let them know how special they are. If your a single or divorce parent, it is especially important that you and the other parent pull together for you teenager. Cut out all the bickering with the other parent and team up to together. If the other parent isn't an option find help from other family and friends. Sometimes a male teen needs to talk to guy. And the same goes for girls. Make those resources available to them. Although we want our kids to come us first, it doesn't always have to be you they talk to. And if they have someone the trust that is an adult, get to know that person. Don't discourage the relationship if it benefits your teen in a positive way. It takes a village to raise a child. If they can't come to you you for whatever reason, you want your teen to go where they feel they can talk. Just stay in the loop. If they can't come to you, you always want to make sure that they have someone to go to that has your teen's best interest.

Keep Communication open: I can't say this more sternly, listen to your teen. Let them speak their minds without interuption. Be willing to admit when you have made a mistake with them. When you do that you let them know that you make mistakes just like they do. They are more willing to open up to you and talk to you when you don't come off superior to them. The only difference between you and your teen is that you have more life experience than they do and you pay the bills. As parents we tend to over lecture or kids and that makes them shut down on us. When you allow them to talk, listen and pay attention to what they are saying and they will likely do the same with you.

Don't get overly involved in their life: Your teen is not your friend and they are not yours. Hanging out with your teen and their friends that is a big no no. Chaperoning is one thing but getting involved in teen gossip and their so called love life is out of line. If you do that you become their friend not their parent. You will lose their respect. When its time discipline them they will treat you like they do their friends and they may not listen to you. Your teen must respect you. All of us want our kids to like us. But they don't have to like us all of the time. We need their respect not their friendship. Let them become an adult before you become friends with them. Still there is a fine line that needs to be drawn.

No one said raising kids would be easy. But kids need boundaries and room to grow. Raising kids will be your most rewarding and toughest job. Just keep in mind that kids need security, boundaries, balance, and stability. Also, too much of anything is bad for them. We don't need to go overboard when they do stupid things. We were once teenagers. I am sure we all did our share of dumb things. They are no different. We can't teach them everything but we can provide them with a great start.