While the world mourns Micheal Jackson, I was left wondering how my own feelings of grief have been doing lately, have I completely dealt with my true feelings, and what helped me get through the tough times.

The time I am talking about was the still recent passing of my grandmother. She was a huge part of my life that I am still missing to this day. Since I am no longer living in Seattle, I do not have the oppurtunity to see things that remind me of her on a daily basis.  While it sounds horrible, I have found that distance right now is good in order to help me regain composure.

In the coming sections, I will discuss some ways that helped me get through these tough times and maybe afford someone experiencing the same feelings the chance to recover from their own feelings of sadness.

One of the worst things to do while working through grief is to not let anyone know you are hurting inside. When you hold your thoughts to yourself, no one will know what you are truly feeling and therefore will not be able to assist you in your recovery. Family and friends are important to have around when you are going through tough times.

While I was going through my feelings, I have found that one of my worst habits is to not let anyone know what I am thinking. I only have a couple of individuals in my life that I feel totally comfortable opening up to when I am hurting. Thankfully during this time, I had a strong network of family and friends that were able to assist me in my recovery while I was helping them. Helping one another share each others feelings goes along way towards recovery.

One of the ways, I learned during this process, was sharing good memories of the person you are grieving for with everyone. If you are able to bring back happy memories or even bad memories of the person you are grieving for, it can have a positive effect on your mental state. An example of this was when we were all gathering at my Grandma's house trying to get it ready to sell, we all would find thoughts and memories of her that we could reflect upon while we were working. We had some teary moments, none by me ofcourse (right), but we also had some laughs about things that happend at 601 N.W. 88th.

I know what you are thinking, and yes I agree with you.  Drinking away the pain never helps anyone recover from situations of sadness.  Unless you can call the non-sensical babbling that happens after you have had one too many helpful, I have found that by drinking away my sorrows only aided in making me feel even worse the next day.

While you need to be able to express your true feelings, you do not need any assistance with breaking down the walls.  I know that I have some pretty think walls to get through at times and the alcohol loosens me up some, it still should not take this in order to let your true feelings come out. 

What you need to do is look deep within your true feelings and find out what it is that is really hurting you.  Was it the remorse over feeling like you did not do enough?  Was it sadness over what was said the last time you saw them?  Or was it that you did not communicate with them enough and your guilt is eating you up inside?  Whichever one of these hits home the most, you need to talk with someone about your feelings.  More often than not, you will see that no one else is thinking of you in that light.  They will help you understand things in a more positive light so that you can stop beating yourself up.

When the going gets rough, you need to be able to stand your ground in your own life.  What I mean by that is, you cannot let the situation take some much control of you that you cannot function normally.  While I understand the grief process is hard, it is important to remember that you still need to handle business.

In order to fully recover (or even partially recover for the short term), you need to get back to the day to day monotony of life.  Going to work, playing with the kids, grocery shopping, or any other regular activity you would do will help you through the grief process.  By getting back into your comfort zone, you afford yourself the oppurtunity to "get away" from the pain temporarily so that you can begin thinking normally again, whatever that may be. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that the ones you are grieving for would not like to see you shutting down your life on their part.  Nomally, when you are talking about someone you care about, they would want you to move on with your life and would be unhappy if they found they had caused serious issues within your environment,  I had to really look at this one hard when my grandmother passed away.  I knew that I had a family depending on me to get back on my feet as quickly as possble.  Plus, I also knew that if my grandmother had seen me faulter in any way in regards to handling business, she would have sat me down at the kitchen table and discussed with me what I should be doing to correct the problem. 

While I understand that venting on others can feel good at times, I would recommend thinking twice before letting your emotions spill out onto those around you. More often than not, you will find that those around you are also affected by the situation and do not deserve to be unloaded on either.

Mood swings during these times will be pretty drastic to say the least. One minute you will be happy. Next minute you might be sad. Than before you now it, you will be angry at the world. Being able to handle your mood swings is important when it comes to grieving. We will all go through these episodes when something bad happens, but you need to be careful how it is dealt with so that you do not cause under harm on someone else.

Depending on how close you were to the individual, you might find that the sadness never really leaves your heart.  Everyday that has passed since my grandmother passed away, I have had at least one memory or moment of reflection that has given me a sense of sadness.

While I know some will read this and think I need assistance, I am totally recovered from the situation other than the normal reflections and memories that come around due to the fact that I cared for her deeply. 

What I hope to accomplish with this article is the ability to pass along advice to either my family, friends, or other hubbers in hopes that they can use this information when they need it most.  All of us need some advice every now and than and it can come from unlikely sources at times.  Knowing when to listen, talk with others, or seek advice can go a long way towards succesfully getting yourself back into the daily grind we call life.