When I was in high school I had a funny calendar hanging on the wall in my bedroom. I seem to remember it being titled The Perfect Man. When my friends came over I would display it proudly, and then we’d look through it laughing hysterically. It never seemed to get old. The perfect man, it would say, is like a gingerbread man. When you get mad, you can just bite its head off. The perfect man is a punching bag. No matter how hard you hit him, he keeps coming back for more. Each month on the calendar had its metaphor and to my young and slightly feministic mind I thought it was great!

For some reason in my adolescence I had concluded that men were a joke. I thought that their feelings were different than women’s, and to tell the truth, that maybe they didn’t care as deeply as women do. As I got older and had better friendships with the opposite sex my views began to change dramatically. I found that as I made an effort to get to know and understand some of the young men around me in my later teenage years, there were guys out there (and quite a few) who were really awesome individuals. They cared deeply about their families. They had good morals and a strong sense of ambition for their futures. I found gentlemanly politeness that I believed (when I observed many of the boys at school) had been lost. I also discovered a truth that is plain and sometimes forgotten. That we all, men and women, are unique and different, and to understand anyone no matter what race, gender, or religion we just have to reach out and get to know them.

After I was married, I stumbled across a book at the small local library. I had never heard of it before, but I had heard of the author.  My husband likes to listen to her radio show, and the title caught my attention. Dr. Laura’s book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands helped me to understand and appreciate men even more. I would recommend it to anyone. She talks in depth about understanding men, especially husbands. Her advice is wonderful and her true life stories are touching. This book greatly deepened my understanding of my husband, and all men.

It’s interesting the number of feministic women who are out there that would like to wipe out masculinity from society, and even men in general. Everything within me shrinks at the thought. Yes, men are different from women, but learning to understand those differences that are within us all can only benefit society more. I have concluded in my life that to understand men better, you just have treat them as individuals and get to know them as you would anyone else.