Are We Boiling Hot?

Traveling the pages of hubs, I have seen that many of us are indeed on the same page. The stress page. I decided to write a series of articles that hopefully will help us in the coming years.

I see stress everywhere and I don't think it's going to get any easier. From the frowning cashier in the store, to the honking maniac on the road next to us, we feel attacked and annoyed.

We can't change them, but we can change our response, which just might change them. First, we must become resilient and strong. We can't fall apart if we are to handle the demands of our life. Budgets will be stretched; gas, food, and rent is going to hit an all time high. That‘s not gloom and doom prediction. It‘s fact.

What can we do? We can do a lot. We always have the power to adapt and change. We are mankind, let us roar!

We must become more independent in providing for many of our own needs. No longer can the government be trusted entirely to protect us, feed us safe food, or provide solid healthy care. That's not all bad news. Family, fun, and frolic and cost free healthy "insanity" will still be possible with stronger backbones and strategy.

Making plans and becoming self reliant is the solution.

Let's think ahead and be prepared both mentally and physically for not only what might come, in the way of crisis, but just common sense living. Even if all was well tomorrow, we would still find uses for understanding and skillfully managing stress.

First, please note the following: (Then we can get down to basics.)

Author's Note & Disclaimer: This stress discussion is not meant to serve as a therapeutic aid for people suffering from severe anxiety, major depression or posttraumatic stress disorder. Major stress symptoms and problems can only be handled by mental health professionals.

Any attempt at humor on my part, is not meant to belittle serious stress issues.

Let us begin.

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Understanding Stress

Take a serious look at your life, (no moaning about past mistakes allowed) and spend a little time analyzing where you started, and where you've been, and where you are now. What is your map telling you?

As I take a look at my life, I see that stress has been my shadow, and at times has smothered me with it's presence. Taking care of mom as she struggled to live with blindness, being strong for her and my dad paved the way for me to allow other stress in my life that I should have blocked. However, with any path we walk, comes skills along with the strife.

I seem to be a magnet for stress. And, I have more control over that than I have realized. Wisdom has brought not only a bit of gray hair underneath the Clairol, but a decision to create a different attitude.

What Is Stress?

Is it manageable? Must we always be its victim? Are certain amounts of it necessary and even healthy? Where do we begin if we want to be in control of our life and the stress we feel?

We all realize that even a small amount of stress in everyday life can be challenging. Yet, it is also unavoidable. We need the energy stress creates to solve a problem, accomplish difficult assignments, confront a threat, and run if we must.

Fear Response

Thank goodness for natural adrenalin. The fear response is a gift from nature and can save our life. But, many of us find that we are reacting in a fear response manner when we don't need to. That "Oh No!-hold-your-breath-forty-times-a-day" lane we drive in at work, at home, and within our relationships is killing us. It not only takes your breath, it steals your heart, your energy and your happiness.

As we become familiar with techniques that help us manage our life in a more healthy fashion, we will find they don't require a great amount of investment in time and effort. It's easier than we think, with the hardest part being the "beginning" of change.

Causes of Stress

For most of us, the basic causes of stress involve anything that makes you tense, angry, frustrated, or unhappy. Now, how many times a day does that happen? I find myself using self talk all day long:

• Don't take that personally.
• Try again.
• Overlook that comment.
• Try again.
• Hurry, get this done.
• Slow down and think.
• Take a walk.
• Breathe.
• Laugh, that was funny.
• Listen to them.
• Don't listen to them.
• Forgive them.
• Plan ahead.
• Do that later.
• Do that now.
• Quit Worrying.
• Vegetate.
• RUN.

Change

The mere word can cause chills up your spine. I've moved so many times over the last 10 years that the sight of a cardboard box makes me cry.

Getting married, getting a divorce, moving, speaking in public, arguing with kids or family, asking for a raise, and changing jobs, all rank right up there with fear of death for many "normal" people.

We often don't mentally prepare for loss and change, or take the important mental breaks that can give us energy for solving problems. Had I known what foster care was all about, I can promise you I never would have opened that door. Honest.

However, I'm so glad I was ignorant. Our first babies in care were the two we adopted. Who knew? We paid a price, certainly. But, any woman who's given birth knows there is no pain free way to bring a child into your life.

It seems that you spend the first two years as a parent teaching them to walk and talk, and the rest of your life telling them to shut up and sit down. (Ok, slight exaggeration... or? )

Still, preparation and treating ourselves well, even saying no emphatically to stress factors would have helped us. Now, we have wisdom.

Stress Versus Excitement

What stresses one person out may excite another. I can't stand a spider, others study them. I avoid storms, others chase them. Fisherman brave the Bering Sea, I'd throw up with every wave. The coal mines would suffocate me and high buildings as well, while it's the biggest thrill for those who work in or construct them.

Stress that makes you climb that tree, fight that disease, or save that life, or solve that problem can make you feel great afterwards. We can cure boredom by taking on that extra hard project. We can climb out of that rut by making a job change. Good stress helps.

Living in that stress on a daily basis is an entirely different matter.

Decide: Is your stress a frequent factor in your life?

What is the Body's Response to Stress?

Next, let's spend a moment understanding the body's response to stress. Read this section, as it could be the motivator for you to change your life.

We all have an HPA axis. Don't panic, it's not a disease.

Stress triggers a wide range of changes in the chemical control (neurotransmission) of the body's hormone system called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical system. (HPA axis, for short.)

Side note: When my mother lost her eyesight in 1964, her doctors did an experimental surgery called a hypophysectomy. No longer done, it then knocked out the pituitary gland in hopes of controlling the growth of scar tissue over her retina. It failed and you can see, caused a whole range of other health problems. The pituitary gland is extremely important to mental and physical responses in the body.

Why is knowing the body's reaction to stress important? Once you see the damage of long-term or frequent stress, you just might be motivated to make good changes in your response.

Fight or Flight Response

The first part of this system, the hypothalamus, controls the pituitary gland in the brain, which activates the adrenal glands in the abdomen. Signals go everywhere. Under conditions of acute stress, the blood receives discharges of adrenal stress hormones, such as adrenaline (now called epinephrine), which then creates the "fight or flight" response, which then gives the result of increases in startle reaction, anxiety, heart rate, blood pressure, and blood glucose, sweating, flushed skin, decreased appetite and disturbed sleep.

Do you see yourself in there anywhere? What would be our body's reaction to days, months, or even years of this exposure?

The parts of the brain called the hippocampus and amygdala bring together information it's taken from the environment and the memory, allowing us to judge the significance of a stressful situation, and driving the hypothalamus to increase output of the hormone cortisol from the adrenal glands during stress.

(Don't worry about pronouncing all these words, I can't either and it doesn't matter. Just know that the brain is very busy under stress, and we seldom listen to it.)

Have you read about how cortisol causes fat to collect around our middle section? Do you see yourself in THERE anywhere?

Stress gets our attention.

Chronic Stress

If you are not acquainted with chronic stress, may I introduce you to 18 years of foster parenting? (Obviously not the only stressor in anyone's life, but you get the picture.)

Little did we know the impact it would have on our life. Enter high blood pressure, sleepless nights, shallow breathing, even the occasional panic.

During episodes of chronic stress, the altered stress hormone release contributes to a deterioration in health, for example, causing depression, stomach ulcers, decreased immune function - increasing our susceptibility to viral infections - and heart disease.

Does stress have our attention, yet? Did I have you from "hello?"

Many other symptoms and the treatment of other medical conditions may be adversely affected, from stress.

Now, we can imagine that repeated stress beginning in early life leads to over-responsiveness of the pituitary and adrenal systems, and eventually to critically raised hormone secretion at levels that may have consequences for other organs of the body and at risk areas within the central nervous system.

High levels of repeated stress affect our health and well being, interfering with work and social life. Continued severe stress has a weakening and demoralizing effect, which may make it more difficult to do anything about the factors that are causing the stress.

Stress creates its own vicious circle. Stress causes you to need to make changes that are hard to make because you're stressed.

NOW, it has our attention.

We get it. But, our response is also influenced by our character, personalities and individual disabilities or illnesses. These dictate how we react to problems within our relationships, both at home and at work, and to practical problems over money, work, family , relationships and daily life.

Also, are we alone? Does our external environment include groups where we feel a connection? If it does, then we are more likely to have support. Those who are basically alone and not involved in social groups in the community, with friends, colleagues. clubs, or church, will have a more difficult time recovering or eliminating stress.

What shapes your view of your body, yourself, your sexual behavior, and your use of stimulants all influence how you will respond to crisis or daily stress.

The way we cope with stressors should become obvious to us if we are to make healthy changes.

During traning seminars, I've often invited foster parents, and foster children to form relationships with others, to create a support system if they want to feel better with the challenges they are experiencing. Often, when we're caught up in crisis, we do not seek others. Do you find yourself thinking

• "I can do this alone."
• "I don't need anyone to help me."
• "I don't want to explain this to anyone else."
• "I want to be left alone."

Stop. Seek a trusted friend or confidant. You do need others.

Although studies show that the ability to cope with stress is partly genetic, it is also a question of training, how we were raised, and if we've PRACTICED healthy responses. I like the last part, as I always think we can make changes in our life once we see the need.

In 1985, the National Health Interview Survey indicated that approximately 11 million workers reported health endangering levels of "mental stress" at work, I imagine the numbers are higher than that, especially now. I don't know about you, but I'm there.

Work may truly be driving us crazy.

Worried? Where does all this information take us? Now that we know are bodies are dying from stress, what do we do?

Take heart, literally. Several simple and effective methods can be used to reduce and even overcome stress and in many cases, these self-help solutions are very simple and successful.

There is good reason to believe that almost anyone can overcome unnecessary stress in their life, and cope with the rest in a way that helps them live happier and healthier.

Learning methods of dealing with the causes, symptoms and results of stress can lead to a more balanced life.

Want it? Stay tuned for the next chapter: The Balance of Coping and Stress.

What did we learn today?

1. Stress is caused by anything that makes you anxious, angry, aggravated, or sad.
2. One person's anxiety may be someone else's pleasure or joy.
3. A certain level of stress is good for people.
4. Too much stress affects our health and sense of well being.
5. There is good reason to believe that excess stress in our life can be overcome.
6. Stress sets off considerable changes in the chemical control of the body's HPA hormone system.

Trivia: How many times was the word "stress" used in this article?

An example of stress in a foster parents' life can be found here.