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So, what's wrong with being Bipolar?

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By akeejaho


Living life. A purely, Bipolar experience.

I sort of "let the cat out the bag" in my last Hub when I mentioned that I was Bipolar. Not that it is a big deal or anything, but now that I have put it out there, (and since it is the subject of the next book I am presently toiling over.) and I have seen so many requests for answers about the subject, I need to try my hand at helping to address them.

First of all, I am not a doctor, a therapist, a psychologist, an expert, a guru, or in any position of holding a degree or title of any great importance. Worse. I am a writer with a thirst to write, with opinions that make little difference to anyone but myself, or those who may choose to listen.

However I do have one advantage on this particular subject. I have first hand knowledge. What I put down here comes from personal experience, personal understanding, (there is that word again), and personal revelations. But I am Bipolar, so they probably will make absolutely no sense to you at all. Or, maybe they will. You be the judge.

How many times have you told someone a problem you are facing, or relayed a very deep and personal feeling you are experienceing, to a friend or family member and received a warm, but hardly helpful, "I understand." reply? Not really what you needed to hear. What you really needed to hear were answers to the dilema.

If you are Bipolar, or are dealing with a Bipolar, the key is understanding, not "being" understanding. "Being" understanding more accurately means, being patient. (Also important.) First, understand what Bipolar is.

For me, understanding that Bipolar is a syndrome more than 10 million individuals on this planet suffer with, everyday, (Probably more, they just don't know it, and neither do the folks that make up the statistics.) was my starting point. That means, there are alot of people out there dealing with a syndrome that, equates to something as simple as a chemical imbalance. Seems pretty simple. Figure out what chemical they are short on and squirt it right into them. That should fix the problem. WELL THEN! WE HAVE A MEDICAL MIRACLE HERE! We have just cured Bipolar Syndrome! (Not even close)

Sure, that would work, if I were, say, a 57' Chevy. Give me a lube job, flush out the old oil an pour in some new, change some filters and a few hits of WD40, and I'd be good as new. But I am human, and unfortunately, everything my body does, feels, tastes, and experiences relies on one key group of things which makes every other person on this planet function. Chemicals. Chemicals in our bodies are key in thought, muscle movement and developement, even the peformance of non-voluntary functions like breathing and the constant lub-dub in the center of your chest.

Chemicals are vital for brain function, for coming up with questions, like; Why don't penguins stick to the ground when they pee? (It's my article and I will come up with the hypothetical questions wether they make sense or not. Remember, I am Bipolar.)

Oh I know that thought, as well as movement actually rely on electrical impulses created within our own bodies, but it is combinations of chemicals within us that create those electrical impulses. Without the chemicals within you, you would be, very dead. That would suck.

I tell you all that just to emphasize the importance of the natural chemicals that have come together to create you. As I stated, Bipolar Syndrome is a chemical imbalance, and a bit more. You see, all these chemicals don't go running around you willy nilly, mixing together when ever they may feel like it. That would be absolute chaos. You would be walking along all quiet and peaceful like, then all of a sudden you would have all these chemicals running around making you cry and laugh and sneeze and wave and fall asleep and spasm all the while smelling your grandmothers favorite bread recipe baking for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Good grief, you would look like you had something terribly wrong with you, wouldn't you?

Well, as luck would have it, there is a little tiny spot, dedicated to the regulation of those vital chemicals within us. They control all sorts of stuff. Now there are some chemicals that help us do certain things, and others that help us experience other things. Emotions are controled by the release of certain hormones, or chemicals, into our systems to allow us to feel emotions, to help us sleep, to help us feel pleasure or pain, or sorrow or depression or joy. Well, you get the idea. Everyone has that little control valve, the only problem, a Bipolar individual's little control center fell on the floor and got stepped on before it was installed. They don't work right.

Now this is a very, simple, sub-layman way of looking at Bipolar Syndrome because there is so very much more to understand, but this is a very key step into understanding either yourself or another who you know. I despise the term "Mentally ill". There is such a stigma attached to it, when the fact is it simply refers to conditions which cause an individual to be different from the considered norm. As far as I am concerned, I am as normal as the next guy, but because I have a chemical imbalance, I am susceptible to periods of manic behavior interupted by periods of unexplainable depression, seasoned with a bunch of other labels, (conveniently attached to my diagnosis by a collection of therapists while I wasn't looking).

The problem for me is sometimes walking through life as a Bipolar is alot like walking through an emotional mine field. You never know what emotion will explode when a situation pops up. You could see something as simple as a squirrel road pizza on the way to work some morning, and never expect it to put you in a dark room with the blankets pulled up under your chin, questioning your own immortality. Knowing it could, and why, is more what you need to really know. Realizing you are headed in a direction you don't want to go, and figuring out how to counter it is the best you will ever do, because friends, as terrible as it is to say, there is, to date, no cure for Bipolar Syndrome. Those who have it must learn to manage it, and those who are close to them, only in understanding how it effects an individual can you begin to help in the managing process. We can talk about how the the chemicals effect bipolars next time.

I think, for a start, this will do. There is alot of information out there on Bipolar, and depending on how studious you care to be, you can become involved in research 24 hours a day for the next few weeks, and only scrape the surface. Most likely you will run into alot of physco mumbo-jumbo. Some of the stuff you may or may not understand, and alot of it is even over the heads of the individuals who wrote it. I understand it in my own simple way, which I began to explain in the above paragraphs. I have much more to say on the matter, but my fingers are tired at the moment, and there is this really good movie coming on.

Oh, and answer to the question I posed at the beginning of this Hub;

So, what's wrong with being Bipolar?

Absolutely nothing. I just wanted to get your attention. Now that I do, perhaps there are a few things you may want to share. After all, learning about Bipolar and living with it is eased by sharing ways to deal with the thing that ails you. I hope for comments, for as I stated, I am absolutely no expert in the matter, and can only share what I know from what I have experienced and have observed. What you know is important, and what you share even more so. We will talk more in my next Hub.

Comments

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6tay11 profile image

6tay11  says:
2 years ago

i like your story

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
2 years ago

Thanks 6tay,

I wonder how it ends.

vy_august  says:
2 years ago

I look forward to reading your book. You write well.

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
2 years ago

Thanks for your support. I hope you continue enjoying the material.

wball  says:
2 years ago

Ths is a good story. I have a daughter that has Bipolar Disorder and I am looking forward to the continuation to this story. I will be monitoring your progress, thanks.

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
2 years ago

Cool! It is always nice to know there is someone out there reading the material. If you haven't already, reada couple of my other Hubs dealing with Bipolar. Good luck to you and your family, and with patience and lots of reading, you all will be just Hunkey Dorey!

monitor profile image

monitor  says:
2 years ago

You are absolutely right that there is nothing wrong with being bipolar, akeejaho! Nobody willingly chooses to be bipolar, it's just an unfortunate reality that those 10 million + people like yourself are given no choice but to accept. That's great that you've chosen to share your story in order to help others understand what bipolar is all about.

I look forward to reading your book once you've finished it!

Your fan.

Mon.

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
2 years ago

Thank you Mon, for your comments, and for becoming a fan. As far as Bipolar goes, I suppose we all have our crosses to bare, but it weighs a little less when you begin to understand what ails yuh! (Don'tyathink?) Well, sometimes, kinda, sorta? Oh, who am I kidding?

crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider  says:
2 years ago

I am enjoy reading your bipolar articles. This one i really like. I am bipolar and this one has me seeing it from another vantage point. The word mentally ill. I have never really thought much of it really. But now that you mentioned and I think about it is kind of a off putting term. When I write about bipolar I take a whole different approach than you. I think that is why i enjoy reading your hubs so much. Because they have a good amount of humor and a fresh angle to them. You are a superb writer. Keep it up.

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
18 months ago

Thanks Beanrider! You are always so encouraging. Hope you read my next one, about Survival. See you then!

newcapo profile image

newcapo  says:
14 months ago

Great story, very entertaining and poignant....going to check out some more -JD

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal  says:
14 months ago

Kudos to you! By scaling the heights of the walls that have been built by ignorance around you, you've dared to show that all you are is different, not abnormal. It's up to the rest of us to break those walls down and respect the fact that people CAN march to the beat of a different drummer. So much more research is needed! There is one line of treatment though that has proved helpful by attempting to alleviate the mood swings not suppressing them and that is homeopathy. Good luck with your writing and God Bless!

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
14 months ago

Thanks Newcapo, for stopping in. Please do read some of the other Hubs I have written on the subject of Bipolar, or some of the others for that matter. Thank you also for joining my fan club. I am glad you enjoyed the humor as well as the subject. I do hope others who have been here, but didn't leave a comment felt the same way. (Though I am rather amazed there has never been a negative comment left on any of my Hubs as to my opinions, no matter how far out they may be! And for that I am even more grateful!)

Also, thanks to you Shalini, for your kind words, and also for joining my fan club! And thank you also for reading my words and feelings, and expressing them back to me in your comment. Thank you, thank you, and thank you once again for Getting It! For understanding the very thing I was expressing.

Hopefully by now you have read other Hubs I have written and know that I am a naturalist, and homeopathic medicine and I are not strangers. Both my significant other and I fight many of the same demons, together, side by side, in a very natural and holistic way. We are often successful, but like everyone else on this planet, we have our bad days. With each others support, the love of our very small circle of family and friends, we make it through life, one day at a time, like everyone else. Trying desperately to make our small part of the world a little bit better each day by thoughts, words, actions and deeds.

We are who we are, individually and together, like all others we share mother earth with. Thank you for sharing.

newcapo profile image

newcapo  says:
14 months ago

Godspeed to you, my friend. You have a lot of insight and it sounds like you and your S.O. support each other .... Keep it up , I will definitely read some more. Keep up the good fight.

Gillsie profile image

Gillsie  says:
11 months ago

Thanks for that. I was diagnosed as Schizoid with bipolar "traits" many years ago. It can be easy to forget how many people out there really do understand (as you put it). My life is full of odd thoughts and emotions and it can be hard to keep myself in check some times. Mentally ill?? Nah....just unique. I love your squashed squirrel analogy.....too true. : )

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
11 months ago

Thank you Gillsie for leaving your comments. Never do forget that there are people out there who do understand. (They just don't show themselves very often!) And also remember, everyone is unique, and what a blessed releif that is. What a boring place it would be if we were not.

Also remember, you are not alone. There are friends and support only a key board away. Take care and power through. I wish you love, life and peace.

Bill

Eldritch Elegy profile image

Eldritch Elegy  says:
10 months ago

I'd like your point of view, and perhaps some advice, on this subject.

My father is bipolar. It's a pretty severe case. He's learned to handle it all right... but of course there are difficulties.

He used to throw things at us when we were younger, slam doors in our faces, called us names. Still, when he thinks his adult kids can't hear him, he calls our mother some pretty horrible things and does things just to "set her off".

He isn't on medication, but that's because he's allergic to every medication there is, and it came close to killing him.

We were brought up knowing it was a "taboo" subject. We were not allowed to bring it up or talk to him about it. I keep wanting to confront him on his treatment of my mother, but I really don't know anymore -- could he control this type of behavior? Is he responsible for what he says, or are the mood swings in bipolar people truly out of their control?

In addition to that, I suspect I'm bipolar myself. I've heard that women often don't display a lot of the "manic" side, and I do suffer from serious depression more often than not. Anti-depressants made me much, much worse, and from what I understand, that's the effect of taking anti-depressants when depression isn't your only problem. Do I misunderstand "manic"? We grew up understanding that when Dad was "manic" it meant he was oblivious to the problems we were facing and saw the world as all sunshine and butterflies. Could my sudden spells of anger be mania?

Sorry for all the questions, but getting the answers from someone who is actually bipolar would help out a lot. Thanks.

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
10 months ago

Eldritch

Let me start by simply saying, never apologize for asking questions. Questions help folks to understand things better. There is never anything wrong with that. I have often asked a good many myself, like why in the hell was I born like this, (and more times than not, why was I born at all) and a good many others as well. Point is, you are doing a great thing for yourself by asking some very important questions about Bi-polar. Understanding, or trying too, will be of more help to you than I could possibly find words to describe.

Understanding the bug (I call it that, well, cause it bugs me!) will help in understanding the things that you remember from your child hood. Possibly answer some of the issues you have with your dad, and the issues you face as well, each and every day (and for every moment of the day, for that matter.)

I am not an expert. I am not a therapist, nor do I have a degree in the arts of medicine, nor do I have a practice of any sort. (Don't ask me why I took a whole paragraph to just say I am just a guy who is Bi-polar who is still trying to figure life out himself!)

The questions you asked are very interesting ones, and make a great subject. If it is all the same to you, how about I answer them in a Hub? I feel the questions you asked should be answered directly, and that they are important enough to share with others who may be in the same place you are, with out the strength or courage to reach out to anyone.

Thank you for becoming a fan, and please allow me to make this my thank you gift to you. (Besides, it would take up too much room in the comment section and Hub pages might get angry with me!)

Best regards, and though it still remains to be seen if it is so,

Happy Bipolaring.

Eldritch Elegy profile image

Eldritch Elegy  says:
10 months ago

I'd be delighted to read another of your Hubs, and honored to have inspired more of your writing. :)

akeejaho profile image

akeejaho  says:
9 months ago

Thanks! It is a better day already!

fortunerep profile image

fortunerep  says:
7 months ago

A subject I am all too familiar with.,.. great hub for those who don't understand

dori

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