Sticks and stones may break our bones but words cut us to the core. 

After a ten hour drive that seemed to stretch on for days we finally arrived!  My car's air conditioner was wheezing as though in pain, trying its best to keep us cool in the 110 degree dry desert heat.  We maneuvered through the traffic as best we could for being foreign to the area.  With each tailgater we encountered or lane change we had to force our way into his temper seemed to rise.  By the time we reached our resort the level of his anger was parallel to the temperature outside.  Snapping at the front desk clerk with every question she asked I was left to apologize for him as he stormed out of the check in area.  I blamed it on the drive though this was common behavior for him.  He drug our luggage then tossed it, with force, into a wall of our master suite.  I walked, on eggshells, trying to avoid igniting the fire anymore than it had already begun to blaze.  He informed me he needed to rest and would be lying down for awhile.  I was to remain in the condo and keep his 13 year old daughter entertained but was not to disturb him till he arose on his own and at that time we would head into the city.

During his self directed time out, as my soon to be step daughter pacified herself with texting and MTV, I sat on the balcony of our Las Vegas condo welcoming the warmth of the arid heat and allowing it to envelope my soul as I contemplated the decision I was about to make.

If I went through with this I would be married within twenty-four hours.  I had known him for eight months, was engaged after just three months of dating, and in that time had endured five months of abuse.  As the ring went on my finger the words, accusations, and fists began to fly.  I had been here before.  I was not ignorant to abuse nor marriage.  After marrying my high school sweet heart at eighteen and soon finding he was not so sweet at all I was quickly divorced.  At that time I had been young and naive and so in love with the idea of being in love that I didn't know the signs of an unhealthy relationship.  Now, I was here again, this time at the age of 24.  Educated and aware of the signs of abuse and according to my self diagnoses, healed from the first encounter after completing four years of counseling.  Though I saw the indicators and knew the signs I had to go through with this marriage.  I would work with it....I could help him change...I had to make it work.  My mom had to know that I was ok and would be taken care of in my life....just in case....

Eventually, as the temperature outside began to fade, the monster emerged from his slumber.  Showered and rested the once wild inferno had died down also now just leaving a few smoldering embers.  Though still hot and painful not nearly as unpredictable and volatile as the firestorm I had endured earlier in the day.  We would now head into the city to do some site seeing and grab something to eat.  We boarded the commuter bus that would take us from our condo into the heart of downtown Las Vegas.  His daughter at 13 was highly unimpressed with anything that did not directly involve her being the center of attention so she sulkily slid herself into a seat and immediately begun texting her friends back home to share her misery of being "drug" along to be a bridesmaid in the wedding.  HE was ten years older than me, very much interested in buying the affection of his daughter, and was doing everything he could to convince her that he was going to make sure she had the best time ever so that when we returned home she would move in with us. I was young, in Las Vegas, and was in the middle of fighting my biggest personal battle to date.  The bus was full of people from every walk of life.  An array of ethnicities and age ranges all headed to the same place.  Each, I'm sure, with different intentions which I hypothesized as I observed them.  I was sure some came for entertainment such as shows and gambling.  Maybe there were a couple or two who traveled to Las Vegas with the same matrimonial intentions as us.  The hedonistic side of me was positive that at least one traveler had come to "Sin City' for the allure and opportunity to buy sex without penalty.  I studied each group of people wondering what their chosen path would be for that day and longing to join one particular group.

It was a group of young people, about my age, all laughing, and carrying on carefree and happy.  One of them happened to notice my extended gaze in their direction, and perhaps the utterly lost and hopeless expression on my face.  He extended me a greeting and conversation since I was so blatantly being ignored by HIM and his daughter.  It was a cordial get to know you conversation with no intention other than to extend a hand of humanity to someone but it was just enough.  Enough to spark the embers and refuel the flames. 

After exiting the bus he gathered his daughter and began to storm away from me.  I called to him asking him to slow down.  He continued on.  By now I was almost jogging to keep up as I dodged through the crowd trying not to loose sight of them.  Eventually after almost a block of me pleading and following him along like a lost puppy I caught up to them as they stopped to watch the light show at the Mirage. 

It was there in front of hundreds of people that the flames combusted and blew up, quite literally, in my face.  He grabbed my hand and yanked off the ring that he had given me in promise from the ring finger of my left hand.  Pulling so hard my finger popped and immediately began to throb.  The finger that tomorrow would dawn a new ring, one symbolizing forever.  The finger that is supposed to be the one most directly linked to your heart was now pulsing in pain and already beginning to swell.  He took the ring and threw it into the road where it was quickly lost in the rush of downtown traffic.  Next he pulled the ring given to him in promise from his matching finger and with a full windup threw the ring at my face while screaming that I was a SLUT....nothing but a twenty something year old WHORE....that I should go find that "punk" from the bus and take him back to the condo to sleep with him since that's obviously what I wanted and what girls like ME do to men like HIM.  After a five minute verbal beating in which hundreds of people stood around silently and watched too shocked to intervene or too unaware of their surroundings to notice he gathered his daughter and left me in the heart of downtown.  Yelling over his shoulder as he strode away that if I wanted to come back to the condo my "PATHETIC WHORING ASS" could find my own way back....

I collapsed into sobs on the curb of downtown Las Vegas just in front of the beautiful light show at the mirage.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I was alone with no family and friends thousands of miles from home.  I had a decision to make and I needed to make it quick...

We were pronounced husband and wife the next night at 8:01 p.m.