Sex is a topic that a lot of people are embarrassed to talk about, especially if they have a problem with it. In many cases, the problems can be solved with some simple changes. For example, one problem many women have is that of urinating during sex. Urinating during sex is a phenomenon that typically only happens to women. Passing urine during intercourse, and being unable to control it, happens to many women, however, just because it happens to a lot of people does not make it any less embarrassing. The thing that most people struggle with here is that no one seems to talk about urinating during sex, either them urinating, or being urinated on during sex, so because of this the sufferer thinks she is the only one with the problem. Embarrassment keeps many of us from discussing problems we have. So, if you struggle with urinating during sex, or if your partner does, then read on:

The first thing most people want to know is if urinating during sex is common:

It is understandable to want to know if you are alone in suffering an embarrassing problem. However, in this case, you can rest assured that urinating during sex is actually far more common then would be expected. A few studies have shown that close to a fourth of women have had incontinence during sex, but have felt too embarrassed to mention it to their doctor.

The second thing most people want to know is when urinating during sex occurs:

The fact is that most people that urinate during sex do so at different times. In some cases the woman will urinate at a certain point, but for others it is simply a matter of when pressure is put on their bladder, so it could be near the beginning, or the end. However, in general studies have shown that in about two-thirds, the leakage or urination occurs when the penis enters the vagina, or at penetration. In about one-third, the leakage occurs only at orgasm.

The next thing most people want to know is what causes someone to urinate during sex:

The reason people urinate during sex is not completely understood. Some doctors feel that it is likely to be due to an irritable bladder or a weakness at the neck of the bladder. However, other doctors feel that it is simply a matter of too much pressure put on the bladder. The fact is that about 1 in 5 women have difficulty holding urine during the day, and may leak if they sneeze, or yell, so being able to hold it during sex should not be expected. Doctors have shown, however, that those that experience leakage during intercourse when they orgasm, but not at penetration, probably have an irritable bladder, and if it is as penetration, it is probably because of a weakness in the neck of the bladder.

Urinating during sex may be reassuringly common but it can still be incredibly embarrassing, and even though most people only excrete a small amount of urine, any at all can be really embarrassing. There are varying degrees of the problem, and for some it is a lot more urine, but for most it is not a full on pee. Urinating during sex is generally caused by nerves in the bladder telling your brain that it's time to go to the toilet even when you don't need to or obviously particularly want to. So, if you realize it when you start you can usually stop yourself, and thus only excrete a little. In some cases women want to know if they actually urinated, or if the excretion is the elusive female ejaculation they have heard of before.

Back in the 1950's a Dr Grafenberg described a female ejaculation, and it became something that some sex manuals talked about. However, after several tests of the actual fluid it was shown that the fluid excreted at the height of pleasure for most women, it is in fact just urine, and not some other fluid. However, many men are unbothered by the thought of a women excreting, simply because they think it is a female ejaculation, not urine.

And, of course, in addition to the above questions, many people want to know what can be done to keep yourself from urinating during sex?

Whether or not it bothers you or your partner, if you are urinating during sex, the fortunate thing for you is that there are some things you can do to stop it from happening. Fortunately, if you urinate during sex, you can keep from doing it by taking a few simple precautions.

The following are some great tips:

First, don't drink too much in the hours leading up to sex, particularly tea, coffee and alcohol. Obviously if you do not have anything in your bladder, it is not likely you are going to urinate during sex. If you are going to have sex sporadically, or if you aren't planning your sex this can be very hard to accomplish, but if you know you have a big night with someone you love, then try to plan accordingly. The reason you want to avoid caffeinated beverages is they make you have to urinate more frequently.

Second, if possible, got to the toilet immediately before you have intercourse. Again, emptying your bladder before you have sex means not having anything in your bladder to excrete during sex. Again, it is impossible to always do this before sex, especially if you are going to have impromptu sex. However, if you can, do!

Third, try to avoid sexual positions where you feel the most pressure on your bladder. If you have a weak bladder and you put pressure on it due to the positioning you are in, even if there is almost nothing in it, you may leak. So, know what positions are most likely to cause you to urinate during sex, and avoid them.

Fourth, do not drink excessive amounts of fluid - not more than 1.5 liters (2.5 pints) over 24 hours. This is going to cause you to have to urinate frequently, whether you are having intercourse or not.

Most of the above tips are really easy to follow, and do not take a lot of work. However, if these tips are not sufficient you can ask your local doctor for incontinence medication. Sometimes your problem has nothing to do with sex, it is just a problem with your bladder that you notice most, or get most embarrassed about during sex. So, if you find this is a problem you have, your doctor will likely give you a prescription of some kind which can be taken just before sex to guarantee a night of excitement and passion without the embarrassment of urinating.

If you have urine leakage during sex, and urine leakage any other time, it is probably a good idea to discuss the problem with your doctor. You never know if this is something that has a simple solution, or something that might require medication. Your doctor may advise you to do some Kegel exercises to help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles to help you better control your urine leakage. Usually if you experience leakage during penetration, not at other times, it is usually because you have a weak bladder neck, which means medication will likely do little. Instead you will want to talk to a gynaecologist, preferably one who specializes in urogynaecology. They will have you do a few things to try and strengthen the neck, but if that does not work, they may recommend that you get an operation. This only works for stopping urination during sex for about a third of people who do it.

Your doctor may prescribe oxybutynin or a similar drug for you to help you stop urinating during sex. Medication may be particularly helpful if you experience leakage at orgasm, rather than during penetration. Of course, with this comes the stipulation that you need to take the medication at least an hour before sex. So, you have to know or plan your sexual experiences so that you take it in time. In addition to the above mentioned medication there is a chance your doctor could prescribe a drug called imipramine, which is an antidepressant, but one that can affect the bladder. You simply take a lower dose than that would if you were actually depressed.

In the end, whether or not your problem is solved is going to be unique to why you are urinating during sex in the first place. Sometimes, none of the above are going to work, and the fact is, sometimes there is nothing you can do. So, you might need to just figure things out with your partner to make sure you are comfortable with the fact that you might leak, and that it is not going to cause any real problems in your relationship. You may want to consider talking to a
psychosexual counselor.