The single red rose is said to have romantic connotations; more so than 6 or 12 roses. Come on, if you believe that you will believe anything. Can you really imagine anything more mean? Especially as a love token? Okay, if there were only one rose grown in the world this year, and he travelled thousands of miles to get it for you, then yes, that's romantic and definitely not mean. But when the florist is just around the corner or a click away online, and there are billions of roses available, the single rose male con trick is a mean act.

I did read a few years ago that the single red rose idea came from British men. Well, that is entirely possible, but as an Englishman I have to say that it is the Scottish who are said to have a mean streak. I am not convinced that is true, though. In England, Yorkshiremen have the reputation of being frugal. Hang on a minute! The Wars of the Roses; maybe that's the answer. The war was between Yorkshire and Lancashire. Let us assume that some Lancastrians started the single rose ploy, and then tried to pin the blame on those white rosed Tykes.

Anyway, the fact is that at some time during recent decades, a single red rose was subjected to some tight fisted marketing plan. With subliminal messages, the campaign got around: "Save over 90% on your Valentine's costs. Buy a single rose." Strangely, women bought it. Not the rose, but the romantic notion.

Let us forget that nonsense. Single red roses are just not good enough for a Valentine gift; at least, not unless a truck load are following on behind. Yes, there is a single rose in the picture below, taken at a Valentine meal 3 years ago and yes, I paid for it. Even worse, it was plastic. However, it did come with a sumptuous meal, and I did not order it. (Honestly).

So, if you are given a single rose for your Valentine gift, what do you do? Or rather, how do you get your own back? There are a few ideas below!

Perhaps revenge is a bit strong, but you can at least have some fun and make him feel hellishly guilty. First of all, be prepared. Do not in any circumstances give him a gift first. You must wait and see if he has arranged a nice big arrangement of roses for you, or other flowers if he knows you prefer something else. Wait....patiently! If it gets to 11pm and there is still nothing, resolve not to be relieved if he drags out the single tattered rose he stuck in his pocket and forgot.

If and when he or the florists delivery van turns up with a single rose, it is time to respond with your own Valentine gift to him. It may be an idea to have them ready at hand, just in case. Or you can make an excuse to leave, and then go out and buy just one of the following:

1. If he plays golf, then buy him a golf ball and do not bother wrapping it, as you can be sure he did not wrap your lonely rose.

2. Buy him a single heart shaped chocolate, if possible. Better still, buy a box of them and eat the rest yourself after you kick him out.

3. Buy him a singles magazine or free trial subscription to a dating agency.

4. Does he smoke cigarettes? Then a single cigarette will suffice. Buy a pack, take out one, and give the rest away. He can have the one you keep. If you smoke, then do not be tempted to give him one of yours. Buy his specially, after all he did buy that pitiful single rose for you, didn't he?

5. Does he smoke cigars? Forget it! They are expensive. Buy him a single match instead.

6. Is he bald? Not with a shaved head, but naturally bald. If so, visit a wigmakers and buy him a single hair for a cent. Again, do not wrap it, unless you like a pointless challenge. If he gave you a single red rose, give him a single red hair, regardless of what colour hair he used to have.