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Valentine’s Jokes For Kids

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By Lela Davidson


Photo:  RookieShooter, Flickr
Photo: RookieShooter, Flickr

 

Every season needs a good joke. Here are Valentine's jokes for kids collected from around the web, all G-Rated. Jokes are more than just fun for kids. They help to develop language in a fun way. They say the pun is the highest form of language development. Experts agree that telling jokes develops language skills. Embrace your inner goofball and help your children learn at the same time with these cute Valentine's jokes for kids.

Jokes

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What did the letter say to the stamp? You send me.

What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.

What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.

What is a ram's favorite song? I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? Antelope.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an apple.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

What did the valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me and we'll go places!

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? I Love Ewe!

What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!

What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day? You're nuts so bad yourself!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did the bat say to his girlfriend? You're fun to hang around with.

What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I'm sweet on you!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses!

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pin cushion!

What did the pencil say to the paper? I dot my i's on you!

What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Olive

Olive who?

Olive you!

Knock knock

Who'e there?

Frank

Frank who?

Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Howard

Howard who?

Howard you like a big kiss?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Sherwood

Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Pooch

Pooch who?

Pooch your arms around me, baby!

Comments

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amy jane profile image

amy jane  says:
2 years ago

These are so cute! My kids will really love some new material -especially the knock-knock jokes!

Harmony  says:
2 years ago

Thanks Lela! I've already read them to my oldest twice. I'm always running out of "clean" jokes ;)

Harmony

MoralsEthics1960 profile image

MoralsEthics1960  says:
2 years ago

You are a blessing after a hard day i used these on my granddaughter"knock knock jokes" and made her happy and laughing.Thank you for the post

james  says:
2 years ago

dese jokes iz cool yo

dooda  says:
2 years ago

Very Cute. Will tells these to my kid.

Thanks

Blogger Mom profile image

Blogger Mom  says:
2 years ago

Hehe...My four year old is just getting into knock-knock jokes and these are perfect! Thanks!

MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade  says:
2 years ago

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on

Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!

Excellent

Thank you

BarbaraMay profile image

BarbaraMay  says:
2 years ago

Chuckles. I'm bookmarking this page for my four boys to read in the morning. Thanks very much.

exinco profile image

exinco  says:
2 years ago

nice, love it

Vinnie V  says:
2 years ago

Great list Lela. I especially love the knock knock jokes. I'm definitely going to tell these to my 4 yr. old to try to get his favorite knock knock out of his head. It goes like this:

Knock Knock...

Who's there...

I gotta goap...

I gotta goap who?

Then he just starts cracking up! :-)

Lela Davidson profile image

Lela Davidson  says:
2 years ago

Thanks everyone! I'm glad the jokes are a hit. Jokes make kids smart so keep sharing!

Garden Furniture  says:
2 years ago

Great hub, very interesting and very funny hubpage.

Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik  says:
2 years ago

Lela, these are so cute! As a child, I loved reading and telling jokes like these.

compu-smart profile image

compu-smart  says:
2 years ago

I used to love jokes and i only know one now which i like...

Here goes....How do you keep an idiot in suspence?........... i will tell you next week! hehe..

If this joke is not suitable for kids you can delete this comment:)

AnnaEstelle profile image

AnnaEstelle  says:
2 years ago

It's refreshing to hear Valentine's Day jokes-or any jokes for that matter-that don't have a raunchy undertone. Kudos for the creativity!

sim71 profile image

sim71  says:
2 years ago

These jokes are great Lela,

Keep up the good work.

Lela Davidson profile image

Lela Davidson  says:
2 years ago

Thanks for all the compliments, but I feel compelled to reiterate that I didn't make these up! Just collected the best I found. I'm glad we're all enjoying the jokes!

wiser now  says:
2 years ago

I started reading these with my granddaughter and even my husband joined in the laughter. Thank you!

John Austwick profile image

John Austwick  says:
2 years ago

Laughing with my grandchildren really made my day. Thank You.

creatingwealth profile image

creatingwealth  says:
2 years ago

Thanks for jokes. Happy Valentines day!

Hazok profile image

Hazok  says:
2 years ago

great. thanks. I surely be using them.

jgu  says:
10 months ago

Nice Nice I love them

397268 profile image

397268  says:
10 months ago

Great one liners

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