I struggle with how to begin talking about vampires. I'm no academic and who wants a dry treatise anyway? I am fairly well-read. I am full of thoughts, observations, opinions and feelings. Sometimes I even make someone other than myself laugh. Even if I was academic, it's difficult to simply define what a vampire is.

So, what I'll do is just pick a random thought about vampires that I've had lately. I'll expound on that and we'll see where all of this goes. Along the way, I will include tidbits of the history of vampire myths - because, trust me, it's fascinating - and different constructs and meanings of the different aspects of them. Please join this as a conversation. Ask questions. Provide your own thoughts, reactions, suggestions. Let's get started.

I've been watching True Blood on HBO. It's based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels. In this mythology, vampires are acknowledged to exist and they are seeking civil rights. I'll get into more details of this world later. For now, I'll begin with a quote that stayed with me. I paraphrase:

"When vampires live in nests they become more brutal. They become laws unto themselves. When they live alone, as I do, they are more able to maintain some semblance of their former humanity."

So, one of the questions that we are asking ourselves in stories of vampires has to do with defining humanity. What is it? When do we cross the border out of the land of humanity? In fact, one of the difficult things about launching into a discussion of vampires is defining them. Are they human? In almost every case, a vampire was a human and has experienced a death but is still walking with some level of animation. (We'll look at the different ways vampires get created and the different manifestations of them another time.) So, do we still consider them human?

In True Blood, Sookie, the female protagonist, is struggling with whether vampires are human. Her recently-met vampire companion assures her that he is not human. It's unclear yet whether he feels self-loathing or shame or remorse for that. He may simply be trying to help her avoid danger via self-delusion.

Herein lies the dilemma, though: he's being protective. Or at least he cares. In his declaration that he is not human is he demonstrating humanity? He is informing her for her sake.

This paradox is often present in vampire stories. I was not an early adopter, but became a big fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When I had seen trailers it simply seemed liked some b-grade, high school drama in a bad fantasy setting. In actuality, it was some of the richest story-telling I've ever seen on TV. It certainly was devoted to a teen/young adult audience. It created an atmosphere to appeal to them and it had a sense of humor about itself. So, at first it can seem to have not depth. Until you realize that these smarmy kids talking in valley speak are facing questions such as, "What is it to have a soul?"

In Buffy, vampires don't have souls. They are a part of the "demon world." In the beginning it is assumed that all demons are bad. All humans are good. Most people don't see the demons in their midst. (Another familiar theme we'll explore at another time.) However, Buffy has a special power and she sees all the demons and has to combat them. Of course, it helps if you have a team of helpers. So, gradually a few more people can see demons and help wage battle.

Over time, they move from the black and white construct of demon:bad, human:good to the more nuanced shades of grays. More on that later, too. For now, we'll focus on one of the vampires. He has been cursed by gypsies. He now feels remorse for all the harm he has caused anyone. He used to be the single most psychopathic vampire on the planet and now he is effectively neutered with a conscience. But he still doesn't have a soul. So, is he human? He no longer kills. He even joins the battle against the bad demons. He falls in love. True, self-sacrificing love. Is he human?

In Buffy he's not quite human, yet. He has to earn redemption. His life's mission is to find out what he has to do to earn back his soul. And it's not a straight path. Of course, there are magic objects, or demons with powers to send him places that can cause him to revert to his psychopathic self. Then there are always tough actions and huge loving sacrifices that have to be made for him to recover his remorseful self. (Can we just take a moment here to let this sink in: a goofy TV show made for teens quite successfully engaged their audience in an exploration of what it is to have a soul and what it is to redeem oneself, and so many other deeply reflective themes, such as leadership and gender and sexuality.... I'm keeping all 7 seasons for my daughter to watch when she's a teen.)

So far, for me, this is the foundational theme of the fixation of vampires. By defining them, we are seeking to define our own humanity and it's limits. Vampires aren't creatures anatomically unrelated to humans. They are/were us, gone wrong. Unnatural. (Or is it?) We assign to them powers and characteristics based on what we have determined socially is unacceptable. Yet, they are so compelling. Compelling because we want to be like them? Because they represent parts of ourselves we're not allowed to or feel uncomfortable expressing? The devil, as they say, (and the fun) is in the details!

We'll get into some in the next piece, as I launch off of an observation made with a friend who is not Anglo-Saxon......