I really don't like Paulo Coelho, I'm not a fan and never read any of his books.

Reagarding the sudden fashion of writing about vampires I find it ridiculous, useless and just a big fat invention...

Oh what to do?

I found this text, so without any special purpose I made a translation and decided to post it in the weird relations part...

Now you are warned, if vampires really exist....

Vampires manual of Flaming de Luna, a wizard with vampire tendencies....

"Any sexual relationship is highly blood, or has a close relationship with the presence and function of blood in the body. In normal humans, the two main centers related to sexual function are the sexual organs and the heart (by its relationship with  feelings and blood). Already in vampires, sex is much more focused on the stomach and brain. A vampire never loses his head in a sexual relationship, and your goal is always to fill his stomach with blood. The sex organs of a vampire sex are secondary. And he can even forget them. Therefore, a symptom of the sexual partner being a vampire is the lack of movement in the pelvis.

However, the art of acting and cheating is the basis of survival of vampires, so they can pretend to be living all the details of a sexual relationship with a high degree of fidelity to reality. In such cases, it takes a great degree of sensitivity to understand where the difference is it for a normal person. Moreover, the conclusion should never be taken from only some data, but at least eight to ten items of which we provide. And only provide some because they do not intend to present a treatise on the subject. However, even so, a person who is not a vampire can forward ten symptoms that may be. It is extremely rare. But in these cases the person is a vampire and do not know, or has it all and just need to happen ...

We assume that in a sexual relationship, the woman is receiving more and the man is more donor.

However, a vampire is largely passive in the relationship, always wants to lie, always wants to stay under. Usually strikingly lovely and seductive, never aggressive and masculine in the most brutal way of the male. They are extremely vain, like attention and feel more capable than most living beings.

However, in the preliminaries of intercourse itself, may prefer to be talking about crimes and violent deaths where there has been abundant presence of blood, than to speak of romantic affairs. A detail common to all vampires: spend all their time wondering what time it is ... Therefore, even if they are completely naked, never take the watch. If the clock is in the pocket, stay with him in the hand (left). Usually insist on taking a hot bath before intercourse, to warm the body, which is usually cold, and to get the musty smell unbearable that normally bring from the resting places.

Let us now consider some characteristics of vampires originally male sex. As I said earlier, a vampire won't move into a sexual relationship.

In normal men, the penis hardens, the heart softens. The time is then ripe for the partner number of things impossible. But no vampire softens the heart. If he says not before, say not during. The penis and scrotum of the vampires are cool, even if the penis is erect. If he lies on his back and is at rest, the testicles do not move, like normal men. And the skin of the glans penis of the vampire is not bright when it is erect. The penis of vampires, and cold temperature absorbs extreme amount of energy, able to cool any body in which it penetrates. In anal intercourse, for example, the person receiving a  vampire penis will quickly feel the goose bumps, not necessarily of emotion ...

As for the vampires originally female sex, we should also point out some features quite significant. They vagina cold, purplish color, dry and flaccid, with a tendency to flay the penis that penetrate, and does not close when it is withdrawn. Not normally accept anal intercourse, due to very little flexibility in the muscles of the anal region (which is sometimes years and years without being used) and the high degree of internal decay, since only feed on blood and not eat vegetables are detoxifying the intestines. The female vampires also have an irresistible tendency to bite the penis during oral sex and may even amputate it with a bite.

To avoid falling into the clutches of a vampire, basically you do not choose sexual partners among strangers (especially at night), foreign (mainly European) people of nocturnal habits, people akin to bats or even ticks and mosquitoes, people too kind and especially people interested in them and steer clear on the subject "VAMPIRE" ... "


in:
Practical Manual of Vampirism

Paulo Coelho