So, I find myself at a stage in life where i feel at least semi-qualified to talk about relationships, love, intimacy and all that other juicy stuff. Im 26, and have been lucky (or unfortunate) enough to have had two long term relationships, the last of which i came out of four months ago. They were both up and down, but both taught me a lot about myself, men, and what it takes to make a relationship work, and keep working. Do i now know it all about men? Most certainly not, but what i aim to do here is to write commentary articles on my own relationships and those of my friends and family in the hope that some of you out there will realise a few things about your own issues, problems or just plain mind-churners in the relationship department. I hope they give you a little food for thought, and please, do let me know what you think of my views on the myriad of topics that will inevitably crop up on this hub. Enjoy!!

To be totally honest, i still dont think such a thing really exists. Obviously it does for some people, those people you meet who talk openly about their partner's infidelity, and reply to their friend's shocked faces "oh no, its ok, we have an open relationship." Then they merrily move on to another subject or swiftly make the point they were getting to without batting an eyelid. This is my view of the so called 'open' relationship. Yes, ok its open in the sense that the couple do whatever they want and tell each other, so that makes it ok, and for them it 'works'. In my eyes however, someone, at some point, is getting hurt. And if they dont hurt now, they will, probably sooner than later. The other part of the 'open' relationship is an element, believe it or not, of lying. Thats right, I said lying. Lying, from one half of the couple, about the way they feel. In the majority of cases I have known, one of the people in the relationship isn't 100% happy. The reasons they aren't saying it come down to a couple of things; low self esteem which leads to the feeling that they wont get anything better right now from anyone else, or a fear of losing their partner if they say that all is not rosy. Rarely is it ever out of some deep, all encompassing understanding which makes it feel that it is actually ok. Its just not human nature to want to share in the relationship department, not to me, not to most people. It doesn't come naturally to us as humans to be able to be intimate with someone, go about your merry business for the rest of the week, and then have them tell you the next time you see them that they had sex with someone else a few nights ago and just be like "Oh ok, how was it?". Sorry to shatter illusions here but people dont have open relationships out of choice, they have them because one person (not always the man but usually!), decides that they want to have their cake and eat it, and the other person just accepts that as the best they are going to get. They usually hope that it will turn into a non-open relationship, but i have another illusion to blow out of the water: it rarely will. You see when you let those people who like 'open' relationships have one, you allow them to use you as a security net, someone to call on those lonely nights when they are going home alone. Don't get me wrong, they may like your company, love your body, and love the sex they will undoubtedly get when they see you, but ultimately you are not enough to give up the other fish that are swimming in the proverbial sea, and its unlikely that you ever will be. My advice? Pull away, focus on you, be honest with yourself and move on. If it's meant to be, they will miss you and come running. If not, you just saved yourself what could have ended up being years of not knowing where you stood or where they were on some nights, and of course a few lines in your forehead, and the cost of the botox you will need to get them straightened out!. TG