There was a TV ad for a perfume that went something like this, "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget that you're a man, cause I'm a woman, W-O-M-A-N. For the most part, that describes the role of a woman today. Think about it, the days of women being able to stay home and take care of home and family are all but a thing of the past. I'm not saying it's not done anymore, however there are a fortunate few,and they are just that, a few. The norm is that a woman must be the bread winner or at least a contributor , and still  carry herself like a lady. You might think chauvinism, but let's face it, it is what it is. Of course, being a wife and mother is not all a woman should aspire to be. Growing up in my day, being a wife and mother was the aspiration of the majority.  However today, there are many career choices and paths that women choose, and those too are to be celebrated.

Women are said to have to work twice as hard to get half as much as a man. While learning that, life's lesson, we must not forget that we are still expected to be a lady. Being a lady is nothing to be ashamed of, womanhood is to be celebrated, not denigrated. That being said, what can we do as older women to help our younger counter parts, realize that fact and celebrate it?

The state of womanhood today leaves a lot to be desired. It's too bad that, through the proliferation of sexually oriented material, the negative attitude of some men toward women, the absence of quality training at home, low self esteem and lack of pride, some of our young women  have all but lost their way. For instance some lack a sense of dignity and decency, hence their style of clothing, attitude and mannerism. Meaning the provocative style of dress, leaving practically nothing to the imagination. Their hardened attitude,seemingly not caring about anyone or anything. Let's not forget the relationship between each other. Relationships between women often suffer greatly, just in the process of the day to day living.

Low self esteem and lack of pride is a major contributor of why some young women are experiencing difficulties in their lives today.  Because of this reason some allow themselves to be denigrated by their male counterparts. It seems that they don't know what the word no means, especially in their relationships with men. Spousal abuse runs rampant, either, physically, verbally or emotionally. Because physical abuse has visible signs and the effects are readily apparent, it might appear that it is the worse form of abuse. However, the unseen verbal and emotional abuse takes a heavier toll on the human spirit than any physical weapon ever could. It's been said that words are like bullets, once they're out of the mouth, irreparable damage is done, and with the repeated campaign of such, self esteem and pride are all but forgotten.

Changing ones self is very hard, changing someone else is next to impossible. So, we're not focusing entirely on change, however when that happens it is welcomed. What we want to do is help our young ladies see that they have choices in their lives. For instance choices concerning the decisions that they make as to how they live their lives, the paths they take and what they ultimately choose to be and do. They need to know that their future is entirely in their own hands. They also need to know that pride, self esteem and self sufficiency should be among the positive qualities that they should strive for. We have to set the bar high for them and help them get over it.

Mothers, aunts, grandmothers, older sisters, female teachers, etc, we must examine how we react to various situations in our lives, for instance, how do we allow men to treat us? How much respect do we show to our male counterpart. What is our attitude towards our "sisters?" What is our manner of speech. When it comes to working relationships with men are we competitive to a fault. How do we dress? Just how do we carry ourselves in general?

In answer to those questions, we must honestly examine ourselves and answer accordingly. Are we so desperate to have a man in our lives that we will accept any treatment that's meted out. Could we, perhaps, show our young women what it would be like to take charge of our lives and maybe, just maybe spend some time alone, or at the very least not let that particular man in our lives control our every action.

Concerning our attitude toward both genders, are we showing respect? Could we, not always be in competition, sometimes working along side, and not always having to win? What about showing respect to our male counterparts, and our "sisters" at all times? Oh yes, and, our speech, is it the kind that we would not be ashamed to hear uttered from our young women? Even if our language is not always what we would like it to be, could we perhaps, not use it around them.

Let's address, our dress,(a little play on words), proper decorum, despite popular opinion, is not out of date. Our attire at times tend to dictate how we are treated, by both sexes. At times it even dictates how we ourselves act. In all that's been discussed, consider the saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." Let's not worry about making them drink, (change), just lead them in the right direction, and let them choose for themselves, after proper guidance, how they will ultimately live their lives.

So, just to reiterate, what we do and how we act can go a long way in setting an example for our young ladies, on what their eventual outcome can be as a responsible member of society. Help them to see that pride and self esteem are qualities that should be essential parts of their makeup, and that self sufficiency is a goal to which they should strive to attain. May we take the lead in helping them realize their full potential, and never stop believing in themselves about what they can accomplish, alone or in concert with another. So in essence, older women, take your responsibility seriously, and teach the young women in your lives to be all that they can be.