There are several ways to break the cycle of abuse. Many people do not know the warning signs of abuse. I did not see the signs until they were pointed out to me. My grown daughter gave me a list of the warning signs, something she found in her local newspaper. I went down the list, and marked 9 out of 13 signs that my husband exhibited. My marriage was a very unhappy time in my life. And my children saw how unhappy I had become.

I would like to share the list my daughter gave to me. It helped me to understand that I was being abused. And that I needed to make some changes in my life. My husband refused to change, or seek help to change. So I did what was best for myself, moved out, and filed for divorce. He could not stand losing control over me, and stalked me. I moved to another state, so far away that he could not stalk me anymore. You can get your life back, I am proof.

You are in an abusive relationship if your mate : 1. Displays jealousy of your time with co-workers, friends, or family. 2. Trys to control where you go and when. Trys to take control of your money, or insists on helping you make personal decisions. 3. If they try to cut you off from supportive resources such as the telephone, friends, colleagues at work, and family. 4. They try to blame others for there problems. Everything is your fault. 5. They are easily upset by annoyances that are a part of daily life. 6. Insensitive to the pain or suffering of others, children, or animals. 7. Says cruel and hurtful things, degrades and humiliates you. 8. Sudden mood swings and unpredictable behavior, one minute loving, the next angry and punitive. 9. Has a past history of battering, but says the excuse is because they were pushed over the edge. 10. Shows threats of violence by saying, "I'll slap you, kick you, break your neck, or kill you. 11. Breaking or striking objects. 12. Uses force during an argument. Holds you down or against a wall, pushes, shoves, slaps, or kicks you. This can easily escalate to choking, stabbing or shooting.

Any male or female that sees themselves in my blog needs to take action. Married or not, children or not. Ask for help from a friend or family member. Or call the National Domestic Violence Hot-line. It could save your life.