You are at a crossroads in your relationship, and right now, your better half wants to go one way and you want to take the other direction. Already, the friction and strain of your separateness is showing visible signs: the constant arguing, the deafening silences, the loss of intimacy, among many others. 

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The only ray of hope here is that both of you are willing to give your relationship one more chance; that both of you believe that this union, despite the odds, is really worth saving. If both of you have come to that conclusion, you have just taken your first step in saving your relationship.

Believing That There Is Hope

A relationship will not work if all you can see are the words irreconcilable differences whenever you see your partner. True, there are hard times ahead and nothing will ever be the same again, no matter how hard you try. But if both sides of the party are willing to believe that there is still hope of salvaging this relationship, then there probably is.

Hope can be a very powerful tool because it drives both parties into reconciliatory moods. Old hurts are temporarily forgotten for the sake of harmony, and both are more accommodating to the needs and wants of the other.

Listen.

Often, arguments and fights erupt due to a failure in communication. You have your grievances, but you must always remember that your companion has grievances as well. If you can sit down and talk to each other like civilized human beings, then your communication should be crystal clear. Instead of defending your every stance against your partner, ask him or her questions as to why they want it that way. Even couples who have been married for a time still discover nuggets of information about each other that they never knew before.

Listening means your mind is open. Don't pretend to listen only so you can advance your arguments and hope that your partner will understand your point of view. Listening entails diplomacy, tempering of your anger and knowing when it is best not to speak.

Show Affection

If you can, give out a word of praise; that is one of the usual advices given to quarreling couples. Instead of criticizing your partner, you praise them for a job well done.

This is easier said than done. Indubitably, some people find giving praises to their partners rather awkward - especially if this has not been a regular habit of both parties. Sometimes, some couples may even become hostile towards the other thinking that a well-meaning praise is sugar-coating sarcasm.

You might be surprised how a simple touch can heal many, many wounds. Showing affection to your partner need not always lead to the bedchambers. And you need not even have to explain to the other party what you are doing or what you have just done, because no words are ever needed if you show someone you still care.

If your partner is hard at work at the garage, a simple tap or rub on the back will do. If you are watching TV, squeeze his or her hand gently, once or twice and then let go. If your partner is slaving away in the kitchen, a gentle hug from behind, ever so briefly, ever so sweetly will be much, much appreciated.

Smiles can work wonders too. A simple smile in the morning to greet the day is better than a sour face. Let's face it, whoever wants to wake up to that? Or, if you are not really the morning person, how about greeting your partner home with a smile that says, "I'm glad I'm home, and I'm glad you're here."

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