I recently received an email from a friend who is famous, or, perhaps, infamous for sending e-chains - the internet version of the chain letter.

I'm sure you're familiar with them. They come in a variety of formats. Some are joke-y, some are tear-jerkers, some offer money or 'free' products to entice you. They ask you to make a wish and then promise that if you do forward the e-chain, your wish will come true, They promise all manner of health, wealth, and happiness, and end with an exhortation to send it back to the sender as well as to all your friends, usually within a specified time frame.

...and they also, almost every one of them, threaten dire consequences for failure to comply.

This email, however, did not contain any dire threats, merely an injunction to share the contents with others, and, after thoroughly enjoying the message, I have decided to do just that

The red hat of the message is a reference to that wonderful society inspired by a poem that states, in part:

"When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

With a red had that doesn't go..."

The speaker than goes on to say how, once she is old, and therefore beyond the power of society to approve or dissaprove of her actions, she will no longer conform to what is expected of her. She will no longer hide her light under a bushel, no longer speak only when spoken to, no longer value being polite above all things.

She will speak her mind, share her inmost thoughts and dreams, and speak out whenever she feels the need.

The Red Hat Woman, likewise, enjoys life as a free spirit. Here is an excerpt from their official website:

What Do We Do?

We are the women in the red and pink hats. We are the ones enjoying life to the fullest, no matter where we are or what we are doing! We are the mothers, daughters and grandmothers, of society. Some may ask, "What do you do?" The answer is... We do exactly what we wish to do.

We are a network. When you belong to the RHS you are a vital part of an enormous nurturing network of women approaching 50 or beyond, who are joining red-gloved hands and spreading the joy and companionship we find within and among the chapters.

We are Ladies! In the Red Hat Society, we throw most "rules" to the wind, but we still remember our manners. When we gather in public, we believe in being courteous to each other and to those around us. After all, we are ladies and members of a group like no other.

That nurturing network seems to take such a long time to grow. We spend most of our lives putting everyone and everything else first - our spouses, work, our children and grandchildren, our pets. It takes us such a long time to truly value ourselves as a person first, as a woman, and then as whatever other roles we take on in our daily lives.

When we look in our mirrors, what do we see?

I remember only too well how I viewed myself as a teenager. It was such a shock to unearth some of those old photos years later. The girl in them looked like me. She was, however, nothing like the mental image I still carried of 'me' at that age, and her image recalled to me nothing of tangled emotions I had felt at that age seeing that 'me' in the mirror. Here was a rather shy, clear-skinned, sweet-faced girl just on the verge of womanhood, peeking at the world from under a blonde fringe.

I had to wonder who on earth I had been looking at all those years ago.

As we begin to grow older (you'll notice, I didn't say 'mature') we begin to reach out more to other women, often those who seem to be rowing our same boat. We may begin to network for other reasons than the daily round of schools, children, meetings and after-school activities.

I say 'may', because often we neglect ourselves in our hectic schedules. We can be so wrapped up in our work or our home lives that we spend little time nurturing ourselves. We tend to measure ourselves by how we compare to others - how well they handle balancing work and home life; how organized they are, and how easily they seem to glide through their day, well turned-out, happy kids in tow, from store, to home, to dance class, to soccer practice...

We castigate ourselves for not being as perfect as they seem to be.

Finally, hopefully, the tide begins to turn. We may even stop comparing ourselves to those perfectly organized over-achievers we all love to hate - and would secretly love to be.

Perhaps we begin to see that their lives may not be as perfect as we imagined. Perhaps we begin to connect with our sisters at a deeper level of acceptance and respect.

I recall how, at the ripe old age of eight, I looked ahead to the coming millenium and realized just how old I would be at the dawn of this new era. OMG! I would be ancient and decrepit - how could I possibly do anything at that age. My life would be over. What an absolute waste of a life that would be, I decided in my infant wisdom.

Approaching my half-century, however, I found my attitude ungoing a definite overhaul. I had long since decided that age was really a state of mind - or perhaps, more like mind over matter. As Maxine would say, "If you don't mind, it don't matter."

Dame Hellen Mirren is a shining example of a mature woman conquering her world. She is one of my heroes. I admire her for her grace, her poise, her incredible talent, and her down-to-earth attitude. She has worked very hard to achieve her success, and is rightfully proud of herself.

I have followed her career for some years now, and have always loved her work. I have never seen even the smallest appearance, or tiniest part, thrown away or 'dialed in'. She is present for every moment of action in her character's span of screen-life.

Any actor will tell you that the moments their character spend with the audience are, by definition, the most important moments in that character's life. Otherwise, they have no business being there.

I am working to be that present in every moment of my own life.

My mother didn't live to reach the age of seventy, but the example she left me of perseverance and fortitude in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles will stay with me all my days. She never doubted her worth to us or to the many others touched by her life and death.

On a brighter note, though, my maternal grandmother lived to be one hundred and three, so if I want my golden years to be half as golden as hers were, I'd better become more dilligent in nurturing the important things in my life - my family, my friends, and my many, many sisters, some of whom I have yet to meet - and most of all, myself.

My mother's mother, my beloved "Granny', came to visit us while my father was stationed in Masset, on the (then) Queen Charlotte Islands, now Haida Gwaii. On the way home from the airport - a long drive as the airport was in Sandspit, some mile away - she regaled us with stories of the passengers she had befriended on the flight.

She knew so much about their lives. She knew about their kids, their spouses, how much they loved or hated their jobs, what they liked and didn't like - she was a fountain of information about each one.

Granny loved people. She loved life. (She loved a good gossip, too.) Eighty-eight at the time of that visit, she had no trouble keeping up with us on a lengthy beach-walk. She hopped over the sand hummocks and washed up logs with the best of us.

...couldn't have said it any better, myself.