You can be proud of yourself for being able to stick with nursing for so long. According to the AmericanAcademy of Pediatrics they recommend breastfeeding for the first year of life and as long as both mother and child would like. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for up to two years and beyond.

So you have done a great job, but now either you or your child are ready to stop and at this point in the nursing relationship you’re probably getting the same question all the time, “When are you going to wean?” It’s hard but don’t give in to social or cultural pressures and wean for the wrong reasons. You can always find support at La Leche League (http://www.llli.org/webindex.html) by reading about other breastfeeding moms or by finding a support group in your area.

Weaning can be hard for both you and your child. You may have established a long nursing relationship and it’s about to be over. Either you or your child thinks it’s time or life is just pushing you that way. What ever the reason it’s most likely that both of you are not ready at the same time and a gentle wean if possible will be the easiest for everyone.

It’s best to give up no more than one feeding a week and save the hardest ones for last, usually night time and when they wake up from a nap. Weaning can take weeks or months. Be patient for your child and so you can be comfortable while your body is adjusting to weaning.

Here are some tips from both experts and personal experience to gently wean your toddler over one-year old from nursing. Several of the main titles below are suggestions from Norma Jean Bumgarner author of Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and La Leche League leader.

Keep Moving During the Day:

I have found for both of my girls that moving during the day is helpful. If you are busy then your toddler may not be thinking about nursing and will gradually wean. Also avoiding places that they associate with nursing will make it easier on you both.

Distractions:

This is one we often use in childhood with any toddler and can help to avoid a tantrum. Taking the thought off one thing and trying to find something more enticing to get them distracted. One important thing is to anticipate the request to nurse before it happens so that you can offer different distractions, according to Norma Jane Bumgarner. She also gives a list of suggested distractions, but I’m sure you can also think of some: carrying your child, singing, dancing, rocking, reading, trips out (my children love walking to the park), bike rides, toys, and time playing with Dad.

I have found my children love visiting the pet store and picking a puppy or kitten to take out and cuddle, the aquarium store and seeing the fish, or even a visit to the library or local book store for a story time or just for mom to read new books to them.

Shorten the Nursing Time:

One way to wean gradually is to shorten nursing times. Warn your toddler that you are only going to nurse for a short time and then offer a distraction that will get them up and moving.

Have Dad or other support people help:

Having support people is so important to mom. It’s not easy to keep a child preoccupied and wean them from something they love. Both the child and mom who have enjoyed the closeness that nursing has provided need extra love and support.

For me, even when I knew it was time to wean it was sad because I was leaving that close bonding time behind. I only started to wean with all of the methods when my children were over two and ready but having support was so important. Support can also mean standing up for mom when others pressure her that she should wean at what ever age if mom and baby are not ready or helping her when the weaning process is getting tough, and not pressuring her because of what Western society sees as too long to nurse.

Give yourself and your child extra pampering and love

Saying goodbye to nursing can be sad, even if you feel like it’s time and it can be confusing when you also feel annoyed sometimes, but this is all part of the natural weaning process and shows that you are gradually outgrowing this relationship too, according to the book, “Mothering your nursing toddler.”

Avoid favorite nursing places:

This can’t be stressed enough. If the child sees the nursing place they automatically think of nursing even if it wasn’t on their mind before. I’ve heard some people say when they were weaning they couldn’t even sit down or it would make their child think of nursing, in a case like that it’s probably best to go out if possible and keep the child distracted.

Don’t Offer Don’t Refuse

Nurse when they ask but don’t every offer yourself. This can be effective but take a long time and is a tool from the book, “Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.”

Substitution:

This is a method for when a meal is approaching and the child is getting hungry. You have to think ahead and make sure your child is fed before they are hungry. Anticipating and providing healthy favorite foods and drinks will help cut out those times when they want to nurse in the place of eating.

Put off nursing until later:

If you can distract with a favorite activity or substitute with great food when they are hungry this will help in the weaning process. According to, “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler,” this can be one of the most effective ways to wean your toddler. I will often suggest a favorite activity to my toddler and sometimes this works. I do feel this is helping in the weaning process.

Using a promise:

If your toddler is old enough you can make a deal. After a birthday, Christmas, or certain agreed upon time you tell them it’s time to stop. The hard part is getting them to stick with it and this tatic only works with children who are ready to wean on their own, according to Norma Jane Bumgarner.

Weaning only certain feedings:

It is often best to start with the least favorite feedings. With this method you are only eliminating those feedings at this time, but this will help the whole weaning process eventually.

Just taking the pressure off:

Sometimes taking the pressure off your child and not asking them to stop nursing will make them do it on their own, but this suggestion may take a long time.

Weaning can be a stressful period, even with a toddler, but with love and support from family for both mother and child, you can gradually say goodbye to a bonding experience that you have loved and replace it with new special ones.