A toast is different from a speech in that it's brief. Sometimes the terms are used interchangeably when people talk about giving wedding toasts, but if you're planning to give a toast, you want it to be short and to the point.

A toast should acknowledge the bride and groom, and the joy of the day, and express your wish for their future happiness.

For example:

Brad and Jessica, you've just taken the most important step of your lives. On this happy and joyous day, as you begin your new life together, I wish you continued joy. May your love continue to grow and deepen as you, now the bride and groom, truly become a husband and wife.

If you feel the need to include personal recollections or stories, you're going to write a speech rather than a toast. So, read on!

A speech is very different from a toast. A toast is, as noted above, brief and to the point. It focuses on the person(s) being honored.

The purpose of a wedding speech is to acknowledge the bride and groom and, ultimately, to express your wishes for their future wedded bliss, Or it honors the parents of the bride or groom. But, by its nature, a speech is longer and more detailed than a toast.

This doesn't mean you should ramble all over the map. Have you ever been the victim of a speaker who just didn't know when to shut up and sit down? You really don't want to be that speaker. You want to inform, entertain, offer the couple your best wishes, and relinquish the microphone to the sound of applause rather than sighs and groans of relief. You might have heard this advice to public speakers:

"Be sincere. Be brief. Be seated."

This isn't to say that you can't tell a story or mention things about the bride and groom that you admire. But you can do it gracefully and concisely.

Writing Your Speech

You'll need to actually write a speech. Please don't plan to speak off the cuff. That's a bad idea for several reasons. The most obvious drawback is that you'll forget what you wanted to say. And you run the risk of boring your audience.

When you write your speech, you focus on the points you want to make. You have the opportunity to revise what you've written. And, maybe most importantly, you have the chance to rehearse your speech before you give it.

Remember that the reason for the speech is to honor the bride and groom, or the parents. Keep that in mind while you write. That's the focus of your speech.

How To Begin

Open with humor. This is a time-honored method of relaxing your audience and making them receptive to what you're going to say. Do not, under any circumstances, tell a dirty joke. You might be tempted to make personal remarks about the bride or groom that you think are amusing. Resist this impulse with all you're worth. This isn't the time to embarrass or humilate the people whom you're attempting to honor. You can't humiliate and honor at the same time.

Use a clean, funny, relevant one-liner. For example:

Good afternoon (or evening). If you have trouble understanding what I'm saying today, it's because I was so nervous about having to make this speech that I brushed my teeth with Preparation H by mistake.

You'll get a laugh, and you'll also be off the hook if you happen to stumble over a word.

Tell The Audience Why You're Up There

Next, mention the reason for the speech.

We're here today because David and Julia, after three years of a loving friendship, have decided to tie the knot.

Mention how you know the bride and/or groom, and your role in the wedding party:

Julia and I have known each other since our first day at Penn State, when we met in our dorm room and fought over who got the bed by the window. I guess she doesn't hold that fight against me, since she asked me to be her maid of honor today.

Tell a (short) Story

Tell a brief story that highlights your friendship or your relationship as a sibling or other family member:

The greatest thing about being friends with Julia is that she's always up for an adventure. I asked her to drive to California with me during summer break between our junior and senior years, and she said yes. No hesitation. No "How are we gonna pay for this trip?" Just yes.

That was the best trip I've ever taken. We pretended to be Thelma and Louise - except for the part about shooting a guy - and we just stopped anywhere that looked interesting. We hiked the Grand Canyon and camped at the bottom. Arriving at her aunt's house in San Diego was almost an anti-climax.

Don't Forget the New Spouse

Mention meeting the bride or groom and say nice things about him or her:

When Julia met David, I knew she'd found the right guy. He's considerate and kind, and he even used to invite me to go to the movies with them when I didn't have a date.

Tell the audience how you feel about the marriage:

I know this couple has a bright, loving future together. How could they have anything else, since they're both such bright, loving people.

Make a Wish and Make an Exit

Add your own wish for them:

David and Julia, I wish you happiness and joy for the rest of your lives together.

And take your seat.

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