We're Pregnant!
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A few years back....a male friend of mine stood with his wife and exclaimed,"We're pregnant!" I raised his shirt....put my hand on his belly and said "I don't feel kicking?" He said "Tom you are so silly...it is a new term.....it makes the male more involved in the pregnancy....it makes a man feel equal in the pre birth period of his and her child."
I said " Wow....all I did was go to McDonalds and get Tammy a Big Mac and a hot apple pie in a blinding snow storm....well maybe not blinding but the windshield had an inch of dusty snow on it...I did get my slippers wet though!"
They both looked at me like I was a neanderthal hillbilly! Of course...I congratulated them and wished them "BOTH" a wonderful pregnancy along with a healthy baby.
Guilt began following me around that day. When Tammy was pregnant....I played my guitar or watched TV while she was throwing up in the bathroom. She would be knitting booties and I would be reading about pregnancy sex positions.
When she got really big...I did help her tie her shoes!
The minuscule percentage of my involvement...I just don't think qualifies me to have said "We're pregnant!"
Here is my list why:
A. I didn't get morning sickness...hell I didn't even have gas pains!
B. I didn't have a back ache from carrying extra weight in front.
C. I didn't feel a baby kicking from inside...if so...I would have fainted...woke up and screamed "I want it out NOW!"
D. I didn't have to be poked and prodded by the doctor...or remember nutrition stuff and pre natal care stuff.
E. I didn't have to yell for Tammy to help me get up from grandma's sinky cushion couch!
F. I didn't have to put up with me while being pregnant! :)
G. I didn't have to be naked....spread my legs....go through labor...experience the excruciating pain of passing a nine pound kid to the outside of my body! (My little chubby Cheney (penis) would have looked like a rubber hot water bottle with the end ripped off!)
H. I didn't have to take all that post pregnancy medicine for drying up milk and stuff.
I. I didn't have to deal with extreme emotions of having had a baby.
K. I was NOT pregnant dammit!
Due to the above statements....I can't see how any man can honestly say "We're pregnant!"
Me having a baby!
Would you say"We're Pregnant?"
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Comments
I have absolutely no idea how to respond to this...you never cease to amaze me with your girth in shocking humor!
Fantastic! In the hospital as I was dying my (ex) pulled up a recliner, patted my hand, said "I'm with ya babe.." and started to snore. Yeah, we're "in this together"... babe.
Tammy.. dear.. you should have asked for Lobster.
lol--Oh, Tom........
I agree, though...WE definitely weren't pregnant--but you were much better of a supporter than your hub leads everyone to believe, hahaha...
Those pictures, though....oh boy.....:) Why do I let you talk me into these things???hahaha
~hugs~
LOL! I love the pictures. And I love your sense of humor! Seems to me you understood some of the things we women go through when we are pregnant.
OMG Tammy, you should totally know better by now! If he says "Sweetie, grab the camera.." I say throw it at him and run!! You can hide at my house! LOLOLOL
PS, when i said "dying" I meant I was in labor.. tho dying wasn't really all that far away for my baby. 100 years earlier and they'd've lost us both!
It is a bit overboard for a man to declare that they have the slightest idea of what going through pregnancy is like, but if it makes the lady feel like you want be more involved I might have said it. However my youngest son is 37 years old and I don't think grandparents have to say it.
Great hub! Loved it because I'm in total agreement - how can any man with a straight face, or after even a second of that completely helpless and useless look while birthing, claim to be going through anything similar to a woman? Apparently, stats show that men couldn't even handle the degree of pain childbirth entails. Glad your wife chimed in to add how supportive you actually were :)
Decades ago, when it was foreign for couples to switch "duties", we had a couple for dinner. She was bragging about how she went back to work after 3 days with each child and he played "mommy". Without batting an eye, I turned to him and asked, "did you breast or bottle feed?" Wow - she jumped all over me! They had indeed exchanged roles. To this day I only chuckle at the memory of such spontaneous candor. Hope you'll toss your guilt away too! "we're pregnant" - please! Hope the phrase doesn't catch on - how arrogant and ignorant of him!
Whew....I'm glad you all understand so far....Making fun of a politically correct term can be tricky. It's almost like saying "We're having PMS!" I won't even go there! Thanks to all of you so much for commenting! :)
Very funny, Tom. And so true! The term, "We're pregnant!" has been around at least 27 years because my ex-husband used it when I was pregnant with my youngest child. I didn't know he was going to say it (we were out for the evening), I was surprised to say the least. I pretty much did the same thing that SEM Pro did - asked him if he was going to be the one on the table giving birth. He never said it in front of me again.
You are a wise man, Tom. :)
Well,Tom, what can I say? The hub was good, the picture was priceless! Ha!Ha! You are definitely my favorite go-to hubber when I need a good laugh! I can't imagine what you will come up with next!
LOL ~ Hilarious! Your facial expressions in the picks tell a lot! Great Hub! Big smiles! :D
Candie--Good idea about the camera toss, lol...the things he talks me into, hahaha!:) Glad your labor ended up okay, though, that sounds scary!:(
really enjoyed this hub - i am not a fan in anyway whatsoever of "political correctness" - talk about ridiculous - my daughter-in- law and my son just found out that they are having their first baby and they announced to all of us that they were going to be parents! a much better line I think! loved the photos - makes me wonder if this (males giving birth) will ever come to pass? I guess beer makes a great painkiller.. cheers
Well this was very good and I giggled the whole time...Things sure have changed in the years since I gave birth...I think it is all according to which generation you grow up in, but I have one thing to say and it is so much better these days that father's are ALLOWED to participate other then in just making the baby...
you both seem to have a great sense of humor...loved the photo's hee hee :O) Hugs G-Ma
Hahahah omg Tom push push, come on breathe deeply, come on a little bit more, you can do it , hahaha
lol--blondepoet--I just KNEW you would love this hub, hahaha! :)
Great stuff, Tom! I felt basically useless during my wife's pregnancies. Hey, I still do!
Great perspective! I am so glad my husband never took up the "we're pregnant" phrase, though, he did have to tell everyone.
Of course you had a hand...er...whatever...in her pregnancy! :P
LMAO as usual, I was laughing through the whole thing--It started when I saw 'knitting baby booties' and thought it said bottles and had to reread, continued when I read line 'G' and got an interesting visual I wasn't anticipating..and carried on to the end with the funniest pictures I've seen in a long time. I hope Tammy took those pics for you b/c I can only imagine what she would have thought to have come home and found you like that!! LOL
Tom I luv ya man , but those pics were scary ! But I did get a good laugh !
Happily he's old enuf to change his own diapers!
haha tom, this is awesome.
You said it! thanks for sticking up for the woman in this pregnancy thing. and congratulations! on your new arrival. I loved your photos -- all very funny.
Well it's another great hub my friend. I suspect it was you who wrote the clever Beer Run song on that fateful day too?
Thanks all for commenting! Having a baby....think I'm getting roids? :)
Wow! I cannot agree with you more on this hub!
Excellent insight and pictures!
:D
Kinda gives you the warm fuzzies for birth control!!!
TWINS?!!!!!!
Twins??? Where?? No one said anything about twins??
Lol...I love it! I can actually hear my husband saying many of the things mentioned during my 1st pregnancy. Men can't take the credit for pregnancy dammit! This is what makes us women martyrs lol!
Why do I crave a Bud light and pickles on a fish sandwich?
Lool. Love that beer bottle you're holding too.
Chris...thanks...a man can't have a baby without beer. :)
Wonderfully hilarious and non-PC! I love it!
Thanks for sharing, though I'm sure you were better at supporting Tammy than you let on.
Love and peace
Tony
Great Hub, but I did feel like I had to deal with a lot of nonsense while my wife was pregnant.
a) I had to deal with her outrageous mood swings and irrational behavior
b) I did have to go out at all hours of the night to get her food that she craved
c) Getting food at all hours of the night wasn't so bad however because I was up all hours of the night due to her obnoxious snoring!
d) I had to listen to her bitching and complaining about being fat...you're pregnant for Christ Sake!
Tony...thanks so much...I was a little better than I put on. :)
Adam...LOL...there might be a song in that? Thanks! :)
lol, i love this blog and comments as well! I am currently 6 months pregnant and i do not say that "we're pregnant". He does not have to go out in the middle of the night for me to get the food i'm craving, i drive myself so i don't wake him up and he still gets the rest he needs even if i don't. I have mood swings but try to wait until i'm by myself to blog them away or cry so he doesn't have to deal with it. He listens to me bitch and complain because he knows as soon as i'm done, we're good and i won't bitch and complain for another week or so lol. I put all the items on the registry so he wouldn't have to walk behind me like he knew what was going on while i used the scanner to scan everything. If he had to deal with more, i might say WE are pregnant. But not this time.... :)
PS. loved the picture too! :D
xD Tom! Omg, this is HILARIOUS! Does Tam know you have these pictures on here!? And the beer? Did you remember to breathe?! How could you keep your hat on! Thanks for the Lolz Tom!
flavorofair....thank you much....I wish you a wonderful next few months of your pregnancy. I can see how you really relate to this hub.LOL! Thanks again! :)
AIDY...Thanks...LOL...I'm having a beer belly baby. Oh...that's my maternity hat...a must for pregnant men. :)
@AIDY - Tom is all about keeping his personal appearance up even in the heat of the battle, or labor pains, whichever is the "issue du'jour"..
Loves ya Tom!! Loves ya more Tammy.. golly you're a brave woman!
Hi Tom this is really amazing dear. I am not surprised that you are pregnant because even I got pregnant a few months back and I loved the labor pains with beer.........
soni2006....LOL...got to have beer! Thanks! :)
ROTFLMAO !!!! Great hub Tom - I just love hearing the purely male side of things.
Madame X...thanks...yip...purely male. :)
Awesome hub the pictures are absolutely priceless! My friends have said this before and I always wondered in my mind if it would be the right time for a corny joke. Way to go!
Brian...thanks....I just had to make fun of the term "We're Pregnant." I've seen men say it and noticed that their wives have a little spark of "Oh really" in their eyes. It is so funny! Thanks again! :)
Tom Cornett,
This was funny!
I think "We're Pregnant" is a good term. Because it does take two? Its been years ago but when I had our first child my husband actually got stomache pains during MY labor.
Blessings
DeBorrah...thanks...my brother was in Vietnam when his wife was pregnant....he felt all the pain..she felt nothing...said her pregnancy was a breeze. :)
Really funny. You put a pin to that little bubble of ridiculousness. The picture's worth another thousand words. I read "Little Wilson Smith," also, and it was Halloween-scary good.
Thank you Margaret.....It does burst the bubble doesn't it....thanks again for stopping by. :)
Mighty Mom says:
4 months ago
Tom, this is hilarious! Knowing what I do of your loving relationship with TamCor I am certain you were there for/with her every blessed day during and post pregnancy!
I wonder if this phrase started out as "We're expecting!" Now that makes sense, because the father is also expecting the arrival of the baby. Only the mother is actually pregnant. Maybe the substitution of "pregnant" for "expecting" is some kind of politically correct thing that goes along with encouraging women to do natural labor rather than accepting the epidural.
Anyway, it would be an interesting world if men COULD get pregnant. I will save my personal opinions, but suffice to say, they align with yours:-). Good hub! MM