I've known many men in my life; my father, my grandfathers, my uncles, my brother, my friends, a few ex-lovers (one which became a good friend), and if there's one thing I've learned, men can be frustrating and difficult, but I'm really appreciative of good men. Growing up, I knew that when my Dad went to work, that I'd see him later that evening. I knew that if I did something that was considered morally wrong, my lay minister grandfather would lecture me and discuss it with me (and was made to feel very bad about it). I knew that my uncles looked after me and made sure I felt at home when I visited my cousins for the summer. I didn't know it wasn't the same for everyone.

As I thought about the relationships I've had and my female friends have had, it occurred to me that there are certain things that I admire about men and I thought a list would be a great way for men to know this. Now this list is subjective and it's really about traits that men have rather than talents (such as intelligence, creativity, business acumen) or physical appearances but I think in general, that a lot of women would agree on this list.

• I like that men are forthright. They tell you what they honestly think. They've already come to their conclusions and they're not going to talk endlessly about it and go over and over it again. You know where they stand and you can make your decision accordingly. Now sometimes this is a problem because men confuse being forthright with being tactless. The difference between the two is that one will end in bed with their loved one while the other will sleep on the sofa. The tactful man knows that when it comes to asking him that eternally womanish question, “Does my ass look too big in this dress?” the experienced, tactful man knows right away to say, without a beat but with a straight face, “Of course not.” If the guy is not so experienced...he'll learn very quickly.
• I like that men are decisive. They have made a decision about what is right for them in a situation and they go full speed ahead and there is no hemming and hawing. They focus on the goal and they go for it. Same thing when it comes to choosing someone they like. They've already checked you out and if they like the whole package, they're not going to get hung up over details. I remember one time when I kept fussing over something with my outfit because I thought it didn't look right and I was making us late. Finally my guy took me in his arms, looked deep in my eyes and said you look amazing and gave me a great kiss. To this day I have no idea what I was fussing over.
• I like that men are brave. This was never more obvious to me than on September 11, 2001 when you hear of the stories of brave firemen, policemen, passengers on a doomed airplane. And these brave acts extend to include all those young men who continue to volunteer for our armed services especially during these times of conflict and even re-enlist for a second duty. On a personal level, there has been more than one time that I was glad I had a man to gallantly protect me when another man was being more than insistent with his unwanted attention.
• I like that men have such confidence. And it shows because they talk out of their ass; they probably don't completely know what it is they're talking about but they think they can figure it out, give it a shot and see if they can get away with it. I noticed it first when I was in school. The guys, will give a viewpoint and talk about it – and it might be completely wrong but they don't care, they put it out there and normally the teacher gives them their due for their effort. When they get it right, they are so psyched and when they can't, they just shake it off figuring that they tried.
• I like that men look after their family. They work hard to make sure that their family has a roof over their head, three squares a day, and a little left over to enjoy things. One girlfriend confided in me that she found it so hot that her husband was talking about insurance to an insurance guy, because she felt so cared for and that he really wanted her and their children to be secure if something were to happen to him. Dependable, thoughtful men in this era of self-indulgent Peter Pans or swaggering, macho guys seems to be harder to find.
• I like that men are good sports. They can have arguments, are competitive when it comes to team sports, bicker over which model has the best breasts, but after it's over, they are friends again, they don't make catty or snide remarks about somebody's pants or the tacky grille on another guy's car. They can play tricks on each other and they don't mind it. They can have a good laugh and not take it seriously. When it's over, it's over and there are no grudges. There may be some bad feelings but they deal with it on their own.

Relationships between men and women are so confusing nowadays because roles are constantly in flux. Women in certain occupations can earn as much or even more than men, a higher percentage of women go to college, there are stay-at-home fathers. Overall however, things are really the same. Men and women are looking for partners who they can feel safe with, can depend on, and can look forward to the future together. I've come to agree with Hermione Granger of the Harry Potter series of books. To paraphrase Hermione in one movie, “Books and cleverness! There are more important things – like friendship and bravery..”