Well, I’ll try to make this hub as humorous as I possible can though sarcasm is my form of wit and, therefore, has a predilection towards mockery rather than praise. Anyway, this is a response to Countrywoman who asked me what I love about college. Well, this is a list that’s hard to quantify because I went to college for years and years, well, it seemed like forever when I was attending college but two degrees and one minor later I’ve had countless positive experiences. Yes, college can be difficult at times, but it’s equally as rewarding.

1. Education: Let’s be honest, unless you’re a genius you’ll probably need a college degree to have a high paying job that enables you to spend a sane amount of time with your family. Let’s be even more honest-that means a master’s degree these days. The great news is college can provide these opportunities. And while some people whine about student loans (you’ll have bills for the rest of your life-student loans or not), unless you choose the wrong degree (s), you’ll earn a great deal more money with one than without one. Huge bonus! Mothers that means if daddy suddenly dies or goes awol, you won’t need to juggle three or four jobs in order to survive. Even plumbers should get a university education so they can build their own company and knowledge base that could further improve their life (the more you know, the more you understand the world and the better your life will be).

2. In depth learning: Can someone please tell me why our education system only skims surface in high school (even in prep schools like the ones I went to)? Frankly, I was ready for college during my high school years due to my excessive curiosity, and yes, this cat has been killed many times but you can feed that compulsion in a healthy way in a collegiate setting. For example, it’s not satisfactory for me to learn that Agamemnon killed his daughter Iphigenia to appease the goddess Artemis who calmed the winds in Aulis so he couldn’t participate in the Trojan war because he killed a deer and now his wife Clytemnestra wants vengeance so she's plotting to kill him-I want to know the reason why Aeschylus wrote the Oresteia trilogy in the first place. I mean, was he criticizing Greek society and the political establishment during antiquity? What was Greek society like when he wrote the Oresteia trilogy? Was he waxing philosophical and what was that philosophy? Was he inspired by his personal life? Did he inspire other authors and artists? Well, you get the picture…I want to too. An entire picture with vivid colors and detail to quench my curiosity.

3. Connections: There’s no better way to climb the hierartical career pyramid than to attend universities. After all, Professor Munch was a student at one point and some of his peers and former professors have probably risen to the apex of their careers and can, therefore, assist you in your career endeavors. This is so much easier than applying on monster.com or going to career fairs for a mcjob that pays minimum wage.

4. Prominent guest speakers: If you’re a university student you’ll be privileged with illustrious guest speakers such as Obama, Toni Morrison, Tim Gunn to name a few. Even porn star Mary Carey was visiting universities in California during her 2004 bid for the Californian gubernatorial office. Of course, I didn’t see her stump speech, but I’m sure she got the male vote. Sorry Bustamonte.

5. Self-discovery: The beautiful thing about college is that a lot of classes improve your perception about life in general (hopefully). How can it otherwise when exposed to the latest scientific discoveries, a close scrutiny of world history and its philosophies, and self-help classes such as Health Sciences or P.E? Yes, in college every aspect of a subject is broken down to its smallest components and analyzed thoroughly so you can scrutinize each subject and the world at large with more objective, critical eyes. It’s also a place to discover which career path you’d like to pursue.

6. Partying: Teenagers who want to exercise the right to be fully developed adults have the opportunity do so during their college years, literarily. And I mean with case loads of beer, fun games, and sex (if that's your thing). Just do not tell mom and dad that you’re in the next edition of “Girls Gone Wild” in Cancun. And make sure you use protection so you don’t end up with Charles Manson’s baby or singing "Streets of Philadelphia" while studying for Biology 101 (oh, that'll mean the end of your party days!).

7. Greek Life: “Toga toga.” If a person’s smart, they’ll join a good sorority or fraternity which, childish pranks aside, can help jump start your career due to the well connected nature of the Greeks. Just make sure you do not join a sorority or fraternity runned by Lenny and Squiggy or Colonel Nathan R. Jessep. Greek life is also another means to find a tight nit community to help you weather the collegiate years. Safe sailing!

8. Community: If you’ve been to college you know that each college is its own country. It has its citizens who speak its own language and engage in unique cultural activities. In general, everyone in the university setting helps each other out whether that be with school work, administrative work, funding, housing, jobs, entertainment etc. For the most part, a university is operated by students, for students, and students work actively to create programs to enrich the lives of their peers such as recruiting guest speakers. Plus, there are clubs for just about everything. You’re family in college.

9. Professors and their personalities: Yes, I’ve mentioned that students and professors can have personality clashes in my last hub, but what I didn’t mention is that professors can also be the most animated, eccentric, entertaining individuals that you’ll find. I mean, after college when you get a nice paying business position your boss isn’t exactly Jim Carrey, now is he? You’re probably wondering how this is relevant, right? Surely a professor is not hired to be a stand-up comedian and students don’t attend college to hear a very expensive stand-up routine? Well, it helps if you’re taking a class at 7 a.m., have to survive on a three course meal that consists of dry cereal, and you’re going out of your mind because of financial obligations. Plus, it’s so much better than sneaking coffee into a boring lecture that lasts ten hours.

10. Free and cheap stuff: Free movie passes, free samples, free healthcare, cheap transportation, cheap movie tickets (if purchased outside the university system), cheap healthcare (if purchased outside the university system), free football games (for those who are interested), student discounts to just about anything. When I left high school free was a bad word and cheap a blasphemy to the almighty preppy culture-but I quickly got used to it in college.