Having been a pastor for decades, I often note how most Christians I have talked to--mostly pastors and church leaders--don't realize one bit about how radical Jesus and his teachings really are. They stay traditional, tame, and compliant to popular expectations--no matter how "uncompromising in faith" they claim to be. They don't realize what Jesus says radically about lots of things, especially what Jesus says about parenting.

Give Up Your Family

What Jesus says about family is that we should learn to give them up totally. In fact, he said we should "hate" our families--because that's the only way we can truly love them. Now, when Jesus said "hate" you father, mother, brother, sister, etc., he was not referring to hatred as we know and feel it in our carnal, immature condition. To "hate" our families is to give them up and make God, the Father, our only priority.

Our usual notion about good parenting is doing all-out efforts to provide well for our kids. Most parents would say they are trying to do well in their careers and try to earn quite a bit so they could give the best education to their kids and prepare their future. And most people find that exemplary. But not God. To God, all of life should be all about him alone. Anything else is idolatry. If you really know God and love your family, you'd realize what Jesus says about parenting--that your family is much better off being totally given up to God. They can only be truly well off in God's hands than in your hands.

Most "Believers" Do Not Really Trust God

Few Christians really entrust their families to God. What most of them do is pour all-out efforts to provide well for their families, accompanied by some prayers and church involvement. I know folks who are active in church because they want God to secure their careers or businesses so they can provide well for their families. I know some who'd attend prayer meetings because their kids have special needs. To them, their kids are their life.

God doesn't want to get half commitments from us. He wants our all or nothing. He wants a hundred percent. Thus, he wants us to love the Lord our God will all our hearts, souls, strength, and minds. And God means all! Nothing left for our families or other things. If you get this secret, you get what Jesus says on parenting--perfect parenting.

But most of us can't trust God that seriously. We prefer paying lip service about loving God with our all--reading and memorizing the verse--but not really taking it to heart. We still try to raise up our families through our own efforts and make them the center of our lives. And our kids become the center of our family lives.

Kids Should Take a Back Seat

Kids should see that they are not the center of the family or the lives of the parents. Parents are not there to give them what they need. Parents are there to raise them up for God. God is the Center of life and family. For instance, parents should send their kids off to the best schools, or the best they can afford, not to secure a better future for them, but so they can be of better use to God.

Parents should work hard, not so they can save money for their family's future, but so the money can be used for propagating God's Kingdom on earth. Kids should be taught work values like industriousness, striving for promotion and recognition, or studying hard to get a stable job or business someday, not for themselves or their future families, but to do God's work--and mind you, I'm not referring to denominational church works but to God's genuine work. It should be clear to families that parents do not exist for their kids, nor do families exist for the same. It's all about God. We all are because God wants to use us for his glory.That's genuine Christian fathering.

And God's promise is that, according to what Jesus says on parenting, if we have this life and Christian fathering principle of living for God alone, God will provide everything else we need and desire. What Jesus says is that, "Seek first God's Kingdom and righteousness; all these things (material needs and wants) shall be added unto you." And this provision is not to gratify our selfish desires for our families; it's solely for building up God's Kingdom on earth. Every blessing we receive should be used for God's glory. Blessings are meant to be given back to the Blesser. It's the only way blessings can be enjoyed to the full.

Jesus Christ himself lived solely for the Father. As a kid, when his parents were worried sick about his disappearance after a feast, he answered them, after he was found, that he had to be about his Father's business. That early, Jesus understood that even kids have to live only for God.

Our sole purpose as parents (and families) is to be part of God and what He is doing on earth.

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