There are hundreds of lists, articles and websites devoted to gift ideas for your wife or girlfriend. But what men really need is a list of items that they should absolutely avoid purchasing for their significant other during this holiday season. If you’re a man and you have a wife or girlfriend, read the advice below before you head out to the mall on Christmas Eve to do your shopping.

Under no circumstances is it ever okay to purchase an item that even hints at the fact that your significant other might not be a perfect physical specimen. Ever. This goes for all exercise equipment, exercise books, exercise videos or exercise clothing. Even if she asks for it, do not purchase any of these items. Ever. Seriously. Unless you want to be looking for a date for New Year’s, don’t put any of these items under the Christmas tree.

There is nothing romantic about appliances. Women do not wear vacuum cleaners on their fingers, they cannot hang a toaster from their neck and they are not likely to dangle crockpots from their ears. Even if the woman in your life does not stand on a women’s lib soapbox, it’s not a good idea to shop in the appliance section of the department store. A good way to stay on the safe side is to follow this rule: If it plugs in, don’t purchase it for your wife or girlfriend.

Items purchased from infomercials scream of a lack of imagination. Items purchased from infomercials reek of desperation. And although you can usually get two for the price of one, “if you order right now!” don’t be tempted. Stay away from anything that requires you to make a late night phone call while seated in front of a television alone in your living room.

Your buddies might tell you that your wife or girlfriend can’t tell the difference between real jewelry and cubic zirconium; your buddies are idiots. Not only will your wife or girlfriend be able to tell the difference, all of her girlfriends will be happy to enlighten her of this fact as they lean over her sparkling Christmas gift with scrutinizing eyes. Don’t make the mistake of purchasing faux jewelry for your significant other. You might not be able to afford the real thing but you can’t afford to insult your lady’s intelligence either.

Resist the urge to re-gift anything. Even if a family friend purchased a gift certificate for you to receive a massage, you should not re-gift this to your wife or girlfriend. The main reason for this is that it is dishonest and you don’t want to make any moves that make you appear untrustworthy. Along the same lines, do not give your wife or girlfriend a gift that you had intended for someone else. (For instance, you and your sister both purchased a tennis bracelet for your mom and upon discovering this fact you realize that you can give the “extra” one to your wife or girlfriend right? Wrong!)

These tips should guide you in not making any serious errors when shopping for the love of your life this Christmas. With any luck at all, she’ll remain the love of your life through the New Year! Find more great advice for unique holiday gift ideas and discover how you can make Christmas unforgettable.