One of the worst aspects of breaking up is not only losing a lover, but losing someone you talk with, see, and communicate with every single day. If your ex suggests staying friends after the break up, you have a long hill to climb. The road to friendship is paved with land mines that can go off at any time, destroying any chance of a relationship with your ex.

Despite what people might tell you, being strictly platonic friends with an ex is never possible. Far too many forces are stacked against you.  For one, there's jealousy.  Either you or your ex broke the relationship off... leaving the other person still desiring a closeness and connection that was abruptly ended.  There may be anger or resentment for that, but there will always be jealousy.  As one or both of you begin dating again, the other person may look and act happy... but deep inside, they'll actually feel envious that their ex-lover is moving on without them.

Another thing most people who become friends after breaking up don't immediately consider: how any new boyfriend or girlfriend is going to feel once they find out that you're friends with your ex.

If you're a guy, your new girlfriend is going to be none-too-happy to discover that you still call, talk to, email, text-message, laugh with, and even see someone you once had a very intimate connection with.  She's not going to understand that friendship, and she may prohibit you from seeing your ex again.  At the very least she'll try to sabotage any attempts at getting together with your ex, and this will put a strain on your friendship.

And if you're a girl?  The same thing is even more true.  No guy in his right mind is going to let his new girlfriend "hang out" with her ex boyfriend, at least not unless he's there.  You'll start resenting your new boyfriend for his apparently needless jealousy, but in reality?  Put yourself in his exact shoes and you may see things differently.  Getting into a new relationship and finding out that your lover still sees someone they once slept with is a pretty big obstacle to overcome, even for the most secure and easy-going person.

To complicate the friendship further, more than half of all couples who remain friends after breaking up continue some sort of sexual relationship.  Whether it's just some drunken fooling around here and there or a steady, ongoing "friends with benefits" type situation... sex always complicates any friendship you've established with an ex.

Think about what's going to happen when one or both of you start dating someone else.  Does the sex just come to a grinding halt?  Or does it continue in secrecy... starting off any new relationship either of you might have with lies, deceit, and cheating?  It's a no-win situation, because either you'll stop sleeping with your ex - inadvertently hurting their feelings - or you'll continue the sexual relationship on a forbidden level.  Either way, it's bad for the future of your friendship, new relationship, or both.

One of the more common reasons people stay friends after the relationship ends: one person wants to rekindle the romance. If you're the person looking to win back the heart of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you could be using friendship as a stepping stone to get back into a relationship again.

If this is the case, you're probably in for a pretty big letdown. The transition from friendship back to a relationship hardly ever happens, and for good reason. By agreeing to be friends with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, you're essentially giving them everything they had while they were dating you. They've got companionship, the ability to talk to you whenever they want to, the closeness of hanging out... maybe even a continuing sexual relationship. Because of all this, your ex has absolutely no incentive to get back together with you.

So if you really want your boyfriend or girlfriend back?  You need to forget about friendship and actually work toward winning them over.  To do this, you have to follow the process for reversing your break up... and that process has nothing to do with friendship.

For guys, check out What To Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Wants To Be Friends.  This guide takes you step-by-step through the process of refusing friendship, making her miss you, and then getting her to reverse the decision to break up with you in the first place.

And for girls, read up on How To Get Your Boyfriend Back From Friendship.  Even if you've already established yourself in a friendship type of role, there are ways of breaking out of it and getting your boyfriend to need you again.

Never substitute friendship for romance - not if you still want to date your ex.  It's always a bad move, and will lead to more complications than solutions.