What is Attachment Parenting?
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Attachment parenting is a philosophy of parenting that is based on nurturing practices. These practices create strong emotional bonds between parent and child, and are known as "secure attachment". Parents who use the attachment parenting style respond to their infant or child's emotional needs and develop trust in their children that their needs will be met. This results in children who are secure, empathetic, peaceful, and who have strong relationships with their parents and peers.
Attachment parenting is based upon "attachment theory". Attachment theory describes people's enduring patterns of relationships from birth to death. The assumption in attachment research on infants is that the "sensitive responding" by the parent to their infant's needs results in an infant who demonstrates secure attahcment, and lack of "sensitive responding" results in insecure attachmet (Lamb, Thompson, Gardner, Charnov, & Estes, 1984).
What is "Sensitive Responding"? Sensitive responding is reacting to a child with sensitivity to the child's feelings and needs, understanding or a desire to understand their point of view, and affection toward the child.
Attachment Parenting has been studied by psychology and child development researchers. Results from these studies show that infants have strong needs to remain physically close to their primary caregiver (which is usually their mother) during the first few years of their life. When an infant's basic needs are met consistently, their emotional, neurological and physical development is greatly affected.
Infants have three basic needs as outlined in attachment theory. They need to be close to their primary caregiver ("proximity"), to feel that they trust their environment ("protection"), and to understand that their actions (crying, clinging, suckling) result in certain actions taken by their primary caregiver ("predictability").
As a child grows and feels secure in their environment, and in their relationship with their primary caregiver, they are able to develop healthy relationships with other important people in their life.
What does this mean for children as they grow into adults? Attachment styles in adults are thought to stem directly from what was learned during the development of bonds developed during infancy and childhood. Mary D. Ainsworth developed a "three-fold taxonomy of attachment styles" that describes the relationships that adults have with each other based upon their own parents' parenting styles. (Hazan & Shaver 1987).
For example, adults whose parents responded sensitively to their needs as infants and young children become "secure adults". Secure adults find it relatively easy to get close to others and are comfortable depending on others and having others depend upon them. Secure adults also don't often worry about being abondonned, nor do they often worry about someone getting too close to them.
Adults whose parents did not respond sensitively to their needs as infants and young children can become "avoidant adults" or "anxious/ambivalent adults". Avoidant adults are somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. They find it difficult to trust others and to depend upon others. They are also nervous when others get too close.
Anxious/ambivalent adults often worry that their partner doesn't really love them or won't stay with them. They generally want to merge completely with another person, and this often scares their partner away.
Attachment Parenting International (http://www.attachmentparenting.org/) has outlined "The Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting" on their website which are founded upon research of attachment parenting, and help parents to identify their children's needs, and to respond to them appropriately. Please visit their website for more information on this well-researched and positive parenting style.
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Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.
Lamb, M. E., Thompson, R. A., Gardner, W. P., Charnov, E. L, & Estes, D. (1984). Security of infantile attachment as assessed in the "strange situation": Its study and biological interpretation. The Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 7, 127-171.
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Comments
Thank you, Ashley. I'll add that to my ever growing booklist!
You are so right, Ashley. Excellent article. The closeness, sensitivity, demonstrations of love and respect... the bonding and attachment from those earliest years held my son and me closely together through years of death and destructions, so that instead of becoming a druggie or worse, he is a stable, loving, educated, hard-working, clean young man today. People must respect another human, even a child, and show you care about their real needs, concerns, and emotions. Never trivialize them.
I have observed, though, a trend in America to go to extremes - distorting what should be balanced parenting with very real, strong attachment OR being emotionally or physically unavailable. Unfortunately, many cater to the child and create a little monster, instead of guiding, teaching, correcting, helping the child be the best he can be... which also includes teaching him to respect you and others. Only with balance and firm guidance with age-appropriate, clear-cut boundaries is the child truly "secure" and do your bonds grow to their greatest depth. So YOU are very right about attachment parenting generating emotionally available and secure adults. I just wanted to warn casual readers not to misinterpret this and abandon balance, teaching, and respect for the parent!
I like what you are sharing! This is so important for families. Funny enough, I feel this kind of social bond and careful consideration/action/reaction to others' emotions are also important for anyone you encounter in your life (friends and acquaintances included).
A very nice hub on a very important topic!
Thank you! :)













Ashley Ryan says:
2 years ago
I just wanted to add that Jean Liedloff, in my humble opinion was a great pioneer of attachment parenting, though she didn't call it that at the time...Wonderful lady, excellent book: The Continuum Concept,
http://hubpages.com/hub/AttachmentParenting