Child abuse is any harm done to a child by someone responsible for the care of that child. Abuse may be a singular incident or a pattern of behavior. It can take place anywhere, from a child's home, day care center, home day care, school, or church. An abuser can be just about anyone from a parent or other family member, a child care provider, scout leader, teacher or any other adult that the child is in the care of.

The definitions of abuse tend to vary from state to state, but most laws cover four main types of abuse. They are:

-Physical Abuse- physical harm to a child such as hitting, kicking, etc.

-Sexual Abuse- Anything of a sexual nature involving a child.

-Emotional Abuse- Damage dome to a child's emotional state.

-Neglect- Failure to provide for the basic needs of a child.

Sometimes, these forms of abuse are found alone, but more often than not, they are found in a combination. For example, a child who is sexually abused is often emotionally abused or neglected as well.

Signs of physical abuse are often the most easily recognized. Physical abuse is also the most commonly thought of form of abuse when someone mentions child abuse.

Easily recognized signs that a child is being physically abused are unexplained or frequent bruises, burns cuts, welts or broken bones. Bruises, cuts and broken bones in various stages of healing show a long standing pattern of abuse. Now, children do get cuts and bruises. It is all a part of being a kid, but there is often a clear difference between normal bruises and suspicious bruises.

Normal bruising areas on a child are the forehead, elbows, hands knees and the front of the calves. A child will fall of their bike and scrape up their knees and hands. This is normal, not a cause for concern. Suspicious bruising areas are the face, neck, genitals, upper legs, back, bottom, and the backs of the legs. It is much harder for a child to bruise themselves in these areas through normally occuring accidents. That is not to say that it is impossible, and that any bruise in these areas constitutes as abuse.

I recall my time working in child care, where we had a small child who was just getting the hang of walking and fell down quite often. On several occasions, she fell on her bottom, and landed on something in her way. It once or twice resulted in bruises on her bottom from the fall. My own daughter has done the same thing. Just be aware that there are normal bruises, and not so normal bruises.

Other signs of physical abuse are harder to see. They require attention. If a child seems frightened of a parent or caregiver, or cries when they are around, that child may have good reason to fear that person. Behavioral changes such as lashing out, hitting, biting or withdrawl are also signs that a child may be being abused. A child may even tell you that he or she has been hurt by a parent or other caregiver. This may be the child reaching out for help. The child may have just recieved a spanking. Some see spanking as a useful form of discipline, while others see it as abuse. It is not often viewed as abuse.

Sadly, sexual abuse of children is far too common. It occurs in many forms, from exposing a child to sexual situations and pornography, to fondling, rape and sodomy. It is fairly recognizable in most of the more extreme cases, but is far too often unreported.

Some of the more obvious signs that a child has been sexually abused are a child who's underwear is torn, stained or bloody, a child who has difficulty walking or sitting, bruising or trauma to genital or anal area, or a child who complains of itching or pain of the genital area. These are fairly clear cut signs that a child has been sexually abused in some way.

Other signs show up in a child's behavior. A sexually abused child may act out in an overly sexual manner or engage in highly sexualized play. They often act in an overly mature manner, or act like an adult. They may be unwilling to participate in activities or be withdrawn and exibit poor self esteem.

Again, I child may tell you that they have been sexually abused. They may tell you that daddy touched them, or that their scout leader asked them to do inappropriate things. It is difficult for children to come forward when they have been sexually abused. They often don't understand what has been done to them, or don't have the words to tell you. They often feel shame, or feel that the person did it because they loved them. Sexual abuse is very hard for children to understand and to come to terms with.

Emotional abuse is by far the hardest to recognize, the most socially accepted, and the most difficult to prove. Many things that are in truth emotional abuse, are too often ignored. It should not be that way, because emotional abuse has a lasting effect on a child's self worth, and should be taken seriously.

As I said, emotional abuse is the hardest to recognize. The signs manifest in behavior. A child may exibit extremes in behavior from extreme aggression to extreme passivity. A child who is emotionally abused my have unexplained delays in physical or emotional development, including speech disorders or habit disorders such as sucking or biting.

They often act in ways that are uncharacteristic of a child of their age. They may either act overly mature or overly immature. They may engage in antisocial or destructive behavior.

Emotional abuse is hard to recognize, so I am including some forms of emotional abuse for information purposes. I did not feel the need to do so for the other forms, because they are more clear cut, and more well known. Emotional abuse includes belittling, name-calling, teasing, and ignoring the child's emotional needs. It can include cruel restrictions or punishments that do not involve physical harm, such as tying a child to a chair for running around in the house.

Psychological unavailability is aslo emotionally abusive to a child. Refusing to talk to a child, not showing love or affection towards the child and leaving a child with an unfamiliar and uncaring caregiver are examples of psychological unavailabiity.

Also, allowing the psychological needs or difficulties of a child to go untreated falls into emotional abuse. You are not meeting the needs of the child. Failure to seek treatment for a child after recommendations to have the child assessed, evaluated or treated for emotional problems is not only furthering the emotional abuse, it is also neglectful.

Verbal abuse is the most common, and most socially accepted form of abuse. It falls in line with emotional abuse. It is verbal violence against a child and it is wrong! Taunting, humiliation, or deliberate frightening of a child is damaging to the child's self-worth. I can't count the times I have been in a store and have heard a parent tell a child to behave or they were going to leave them in the store. In my time working at a day care, I heard every horrible thing you can imagine. Parents who called their children all kinds of mean names, even some of the profane nature, parents who threatened children, other caregivers who humiliated children for wetting their pants while learning to use the potty.

Emotional abuse is rarely reported as abuse. It is hard to prove, and except in extreme cases, not really seen as abuse. When people think of abuse, they think of the other three forms of abuse, and see emotional abuse as more of a side product of some other form of abuse. While this is often the case, it is not the rule.

A child who is neglected is deprived of the very things a child needs to survive. What do we all need to survive? Food, clothing, shelter, health care. These are things a child who is neglected is deprived of.

A child who is neglected often is lacking proper medical or dental care or is not up to date on their immunizations. I know that there has been a lot of attention lately about the safety of immunizations, and some parents are refusing to immunize their children. That is different. They are acting in the interests of their children, not neglecting to give them what they need. Do I agree with all of the parents who refuse to get their children immunized? No, but that is neither here, nor there. I do understand that they feel they are acting in the best interests of their children. That is not neglect.

A child who is neglected is constantly hungry, dirty or lacks sufficent clothing for weather conditions. They may resort to stealing food or clothing. They often have poor hygiene. If a parent forgets to send a jacket along on the off chance that the day might be chilly, that is usually of no concern, but if a child is out in the cold, on a winter day with no coat, that is a problem.

I recall one child who frequently came to school wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts in the horrible heat of the desert summer. Her hair was most often dirty and she had a cronic problem with lice. This child was being neglected.

Premature competence is a very particular form of neglect in which a very young child is made to take on roles and responsibilities that are not appropriate for a child of that age. For example, a six-year old child being responsible for the care of a two-year old sibling in the evenings while a parent is away from the house.

The direct victim of the abuse is often seen as the only victim, but that is not the case. Even if a child is never touched, the abuse still hurts that child. A child seeing his or her brother or sister being beaten is still affected by that abuse. A child knowing that a friend or sibling has been raped or sexually abused is still a victim of that abuse. That child is still scarred by that abuse.

Child abuse is a devestating issue in this country. News stories of the sex scandels in the catholic church, stories of children being beaten and killed, stories of Shaken Baby Syndrome and it's devastating effects. Abuse is everywhere. The sadest thing I have learned is that laws protecting animals from abuse were in effect long before there were ever laws protecting children from abuse.

In the late 1800's, there was a child named Mary Ellen. She was horribly abused by the adults in charge of her care. Friends and neighbors tried to help her, but learned that there were no laws against the abuse or neglect of children. They had to go to the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals!!

The NYSPCA took their case to court and argued that humans, including children, were in essence, animals, and therefor, deserved protection under the laws against cruelty to animals. The court agreed. From that time on, every state has enacted laws protecting children from abuse and neglect. It is hard to believe that animals were safe from abuse, yet children were not.