According to findlaw.com, rape is, "non-consensual sexual intercourse that is committed by physical force, threat of injury, or other duress. A lack of consent can include the victim's inability to say 'no' to intercourse due to the effects of drugs or alcohol. Rape can occur when the offender and victim have a pre-existing relationship, or even when the offender is the victim's spouse. 

It is rape if anyone says no and the other person forces sex EVEN IF YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, such as a marriage. Many people don't report these offenses because they don't think it is rape but if you say no and are physically or chemically or threatened into sex, it is rape. 

The definition of sex varies from state to state, so different actions have different consequences. Vaginal intercourse is the only sexual activity that is known in every state as rape (unless sexual activities are being done performed on a child). 

If you are a victim of domestic violence or have been raped, it is important to tell somebody and get yourself out of that dangerous situation. Sometimes reporting it to the police is the best option and sometimes it isn't. If it is not the best option for you then you should try talking to a therapist. 30% of all people who are experience sexual trauma develop PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and that number is way too high. If you are raped then it is important to go to the hospital immediately after to make sure you are safe and to get a rape kit just so that in case you want to press charges some day... the statue of limitation is 10 years but without physical evidence you don't have a case after a year or so.