What is your biggest pet peeve when you go to a reataurant?

I go out to restaurants because I am want to have a particular food experience and be looked after by professionals. While food is varied it is most often the way in which I am served that makes or breaks it for me. There is no excuse for poor service and so these are some messages to waiting staff from me:

• When I arrive at your restaurant the chances are that I do not know you so I don't want to have to pretend that we are suddenly first most best friends. I will respect you more for being professional.

• Don't take me to the worst table in the room when I happen to be dining with another female. I know which ones they are and will make you move me.
• Tell me clearly and concisely about the specials of the day, don't rattle if off in a mumble because that is what you have to do. Be proud of your knowledge and share it with me.
• When you have brought me my food leave me to taste and enjoy it for a bit before coming back and asking how it is. And remember that you are checking that everything is OK, not looking for a speech on how brilliant it all is!
• Don't clear the plates until everyone has finished eating and be careful not to pressure the person who might be a slower eater than the rest of the table. Be sensitive to how they might feel.
• When you pour my wine, especially red, it needs room to breathe so it doesn't need to reach the rim of the glass! And when you come back to top it up don't ask me if I want "more" (this is a real no-no) - just offer me wine or indicate the bottle to the glass.
• Sometimes there can be a long delay between first and main course. This is usually because there is a problem in the kitchen - it happens, but tell me there is a delay before I start asking. I will be much happier being informed than being kept in the dark thinking I have just been forgotten.
• When you bring me the bill do not stand over/near/behind me watching as I fill in the credit card slip. Your tip will drop dramatically the closer you are to me! and do not look at it as you walk away from the table.....
• And, having said I don't want to be your best friend at the beginning, if I have had a good experience then I do want to thank you at the end of the meal, so don't become invisible when I leave.

I will respect your skills and professionalism as a hospitality worker if you respect mine as a consumer and diner. I want to have a great experience and am prepared to pay for it, you want me to have a great experience so you get better rewarded - let's make sure we are on the same page!