You cannot choose your parents.  And definitely you cannot choose a mom for you.  If your own mom is abusive, weak, or loud, there are certainly ways to protect yourself and your siblings. If you are reading this, then assign yourself as responsible in creating a happy and whole lives for you and your siblings.

- a positive perspective for yourself to be able to make plans for your life.  It would help to write them down and avoid at first saying anything negative about your mom.  It would eventually come in the end while you assess things yourself.  Write all of these in a notebook and keep them from your mom or from anyone else.  Be strong and also try to stop your bad traits.  It would help to avoid hurting your mom.

- and make a detailed list about your mom.  Is she happy?  What kind of family does she have?  What are her frustrations and failures in life?  How do you avoid being like her?  What is her expectations from you and your siblings?  What do you expect of her?  What do you expect of yourself?

- that you have to do to be able to achieve your goal.  Imagine yourself as one from another planet.  Observe her dialogues and examples.  What causes her bad traits?  How do you react to her foolishness and drama?  Write all of them in your notebook.  Start showing her your good traits.  Write each emotional encounter with her and read them.  Do you end up in a heated argument?  If yes, perhaps you have to change your ways and traits towards her.

- how much of the arguments come from her.   Write these hot spots.   Are there others around during these arguments?  Where and when do the arguments start?  These are very important for you to know to help yourself and your siblings.

- when she contradicts you and favors one of your siblings.  This can be a result of her lack as a person.  Perhaps she knows what she is doing but it is these emotional traits that are very difficult to change.  Be strong knowing that she is not strong.

- from your mom.  In six months, try to be calm and do not be defeated by the outburst of emotions.  She will notice that.  Remain patient and continue jotting down your observations.

- and tell them that you desire to have a happy family. Tell them that you need their help.  Ask them their observations about your mom.  Ask them why they feel angered, if they are.  You will get the whole picture as you go on talking to them.  This process of observing and jotting down what you see and hear, and your own thoughts, will actually last longer than you thought.

- if there is probability to continue your efforts of making the family whole and happy.  Some people can be unbearable that they do not have any agenda but to ruin, even their own family.  If this is the case, stay away and just be silent.  You can try to write to her, or be away and live with your relative or friend for a while.  This may not be a sound idea but you need to have space to be able to breathe.

- that it is very possible to have an unreasonable mom, that it is not an easy situation, and that you have to do something to create a life that you want for yourself.  Start to try to live not depending on others.  The day will come that what your mom is thinking about you is wrong.  Her negative ideas and opinions about you and your siblings will also fade away one day because you have understood the pain.  Believe that it is not your job to make her happy.  No matter how it sounds selfish, it is the truth.

- when the time comes that you are free from your mom's bickerings.  If you have found the solution for yourself, try to help them.  Tell them that like you, you want them to be positive in life, and to be strong against the situation.  Be an example to them - one that has a sound mind.  Help them when needed.

- about the whole thing.  It is not your obligation to make your mom happy.  You are foremost responsible to yourself.  Avoid thinking that it is you who is at fault when you have done enough and your best.