FRIENDS?

Last week I was at an “In & Out Burger” (a fast-food place) while there three friends of mine walked in. We began talking about work and our families. One guy, I’ll call him Mark, began talking about another friend of ours, John. (Of course, all the names I’m using are not the real names of the people involved.)

Mark asked us if we knew that John was using cocaine. We all said that we knew nothing of it. He proceeded to tell us all kinds of really bad stuff about our friend John; that he was hooked real badly and that he would lie and steal from anyone just to get money to buy drugs. Well, needless to say, we were speechless.

I mean all five of us had grown up together since elementary school. We graduated together and two of us went on to our local community college. We had played tee-ball, rode bicycles, went to parties and dances; all the normal activities that people do while growing up. So, naturally, we were all completed stunned and shocked at this revelation that Mark was telling us about John.

I could not believe it. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe my friend Mark. It was just that I knew John so well. He would never, never get involved in something as stupid as using drugs. He was studying to become a computer game programmer. He would spend hours upon hours studying and reading and programming simple games on his computer. His college instructors all lauded him for his intelligence, drive, and his ambition. That is why I had a hard time believing that John was using cocaine.

Then something occurred to me. I thought of a fight that Mark and John had had not too long ago. Both of them liked the same girl but John ended up with her. As a matter of fact, they’re still together and planning to marry.

The fight wasn’t just a verbal yelling and pushing type, no; it was physical. Mark, John, and Robert had all played football all during their high school years, so Mark and John were big guys. The only problem for Mark was that John was bigger and was always practicing boxing at the gym. So, in short, John beat the hell out of Mark – busted his nose, which gave him two black eyes and split his lips wide open.

While I was thinking this, I heard Robert and Rob saying how screwed up John had become and that they would never hang out with him again. This made me think – how quickly can people decide to “de-friend” a friend, simply because of somebody else’s word. Didn’t they at least want to talk and question John? What kind of friends were these; that with a few sentences they decide not to be friends anymore. Do I really want to have friends such as this? Friends that do not bother to investigate, but would rather just jump to conclusions because of another person’s accusations?

I don’t know how many people read between the lines of the story. But I do know that many, many people, unfortunately, are like Robert and Rob – followers who believe whatever just to stay in the “in-crowd” or what they believe is the “in-crowd”. This sort of thing happened to me. People began spreading rumors and unfounded lies about me; people that for some reason or other disliked me. And unfortunately for me, most people believed. At least now, I’m finding out who my true friends are.

The reason I wrote this is because there are loads of people out there going through the same thing. So I urge you do not believe everything you hear! Be your own man/woman and do not follow the crowd just because everybody else is doing it. Investigate, question, and weigh all the evidence before making a decision.