Everybody asks: "Why do you cross dress?" Rarely is there a good answer. But there is a more fundamental question than that - What is cross dressing? I think that it is not clear and that the what of it might start us on a journey into the why of it.

If you watched the National Geographic program on gender, you would be certain that gender is not, as their narrator put it, "binary". In fact, they discussed a group in India which is considered to be a "third gender". Interestingly enough, this group was comprised of biological males (never seems to be females) dressing and acting as females all their adult lives. Are they cross dressing? I think not.

So, answer these questions: Is a genetic woman cross dressing when wearing a dress? We would all say "no". Is a genetic man cross dressing when wearing a dress? We would all say "yes". But these are extremes on a very familiar continuum. What about the points in between where the distinction between male and female is not so clear? What about an inter-sexed child (has both sex organs) who is raised as a girl; is she cross dressing in a dress? What if another inter-sexed child is raised as a boy but wears a dress; is he cross dressing? Even deeper than that: how do I know when to use “he” or “she”?
What, then, is cross dressing? There was time when I thought I knew the answer. Now I am not so sure. Here is my best guess:

Teacher: “Now, class, who can tell me what cross dressing is?”

64 yr. old pupil: “Cross dressing occurs when an individual, usually a male, wears clothing that is typical of a gender opposite that which he or she typically presents.”

That definition is not objective by any means; it hinges upon the lifestyle of the individual. It says that, if you have spent your life primarily in masculine attire, then when you wear a dress, you are cross dressing. On the other hand, if a genetic man is presenting as a woman 24/7 and has  been doing so for such a long time that he has become totally accepted and identified as being a woman, then he is not cross dressing any longer.

Unlike the old police cars, life is rarely black or white. Perhaps we need to define the very act of cross dressing in terms of the situation and not solely in terms of the sex of the dresser. Perhaps that will start each of on the path to self discovery.