When Child Support Services FAILS
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BESIDE MYSELF!
Readers, I am outraged, and I want to hear from YOU single parents of minors who are also outraged at the lack of enforcement by County Child Support Services!
Here's my story. I was married, had a baby, and left that marriage when our daughter was only a year old. The marriage involved domestic violence, so with answered prayers, God provided my way out. I got a job six months before we left and I was able to rent an apartment and pay child care on a $12.00 p/hour salary. My ex and I agreed to a meager $200 p/mo. in child support, via stipulation.
I waited two years before filing a child support case with the Department of Child Support Services in my county. When it was all said and done, my ex said he could only "afford" to pay $350 p/mo. This would include current support, half her child care and $45 p/mo. towards arrears. I agreed. Due to missed payments and a pile-up of arrears, he was put on probation in June 2004 through June 2005. Now, since then, he's another $4,250.00 in arrears?! He's now up to $14,000 + in arrears.
What does DCSS do? I requested a contempt hearing last year, and after two "continuations", a hearing was supposedly held in November 2008. No Order After Hearing ~ no action was taken!!
I've now been unemployed since December 2008, living on the maximum weekly benefit amount of only $475.00 p/week. I can't afford health insurance, so I don't have it. My daughter is covered by Healthy Families ~ that's how little income we're making. I have cashed in my retirement account to pay off debts so we can barely make it now. I have been responsible to never be late on bills, including my mortgage, and have built up my credit score.
Just this year, my ex is behind over $1,000! What does DCSS say? "He has to be delinquent for three payments in a row before we enforce"???? OK ~ this is why he makes a payment for two months, skips one, makes another two payments, skips one....he's got it figured out. DCSS will simply put his missed payments on his "tab". What about us?! Am I now supposed to be short or late on payments and screw up my credit?! His sickness is becoming ours?
Are you outraged? I keep hearing from other mothers that had child support cases open in other counties where their ex'es got put in jail for missing a payment, or for unpaid arrears. Why don't they at least have him on probation?!
No, he has no JOB to garnish. He has no BANK ACCOUNT to lien. Why? He's allowed to be in his own "cash-based" business. THAT'S WHY THERE'S DCSS and COURT ORDERED AMOUNTS, right? Where's the accountability? Where's the enforcement? So, they suspended his driver's license? He still drove. They put on stop on his passport? He still went overseas several times! Come on ~ what's wrong with this picture?
Okay, so what if I file a new Petition with the Court for payment? Sure, let's give the order to the Child Support office for collection and enforcement? Ha! They already have a court order to do that! My hands are tied? If the County isn't responsible to do what they say they're going to do; if it's the State's responsiblity or the Fed's responsibility, we need to find out. We need to get to the bottom of this issue for children all over America.
I have just emailed my Congressman and Governor, and the News. God knows, they probably have far more important things to concern themselves with. I'm just ONE MOM out here in this Country, in this County. How many countess others are being "victimized" by exes and the judicial system that is supposed to be intolerant of 'silver-tongued devils'?!!!
Please leave your story ~ your comments ~ this is an attempt to get some attention to this matter via the WEB. Let's MAKE SOME NOISE, Mothers (and Fathers, too) out there!!! Our children are to be taken care of! I HAVE NO EXCUSE not to take care of her!! Why is he given an excuse(s)? He doesn't have custody of her, so I take ALL the responsibility, including every penney of the financial end, too? DO SOMETHING, GOVERNMENT; DO SOMETHING!!!
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Comments
Well, my ex is always in crisis. So was I, when I left him. I had to get a job, get an apartment, filed bankruptcy so I wasn't accountable for debt he incurred during our marriage. I had a baby. I had to pay child care, utilities, food, gas. It was sink or swim for me. I haven't failed. My child has been my motivator! I was blessed with hard work to finally buy my condo. I have done everything I could. Surely, losing a job is not within one's control, in my situation. I still have my bills and CAN barely make it, with only his $200 p/mo arrears payment ~ IF he would pay that! The point is, the Court better NOT tell him he has a "hardship" because SO DO I. Am I supposed to walk away from my house ~ here, the bankruptcy is finally off my record after 10 years of responsible payments on all my bills, with or without his support, and totally ruin my credit again, simply because he won't pay?
Explain to me how he married two foreign women since our divorce that he had to feed and support (they couldn't work, as they were not citizens). One of them did indeed obtain her green card, go to school, get a driver's license and a car? What, he didn't "help" her along financially? Come on. His current wife doesn't have a green card either.
This is just sickening. The Child Support Office is listening to the bleeding Obligor and giving him excuses? I thought this was about the children. I feed her, clothe her, pay for her medical (he never pays his half anyhow), her school pictures, gifts for her birthday and Christmas. She has no Christmas this year from Santa...of course, there's the almighty credit card. I can't stand to have to get into debt I can't pay back, just to not have to explain to her why Santa didn't come this year...NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Our economy is rough; no doubt. I could understand if his payments were $500 a month (he paid that as a car payment for years), but it's such a small amount. I'm just outraged that a court order, given to DCSS is not enforced! If I go before a judge again, and he tells DCSS to enforce it, will they? Probably NOT.
We need to get government involved. NOW.
no body says:
2 months ago
My story was just the opposite of yours. It still shows that the system is broken. I separated from my kids mom in '92, I was making $600 every 2 weeks. I started out giving $300 in child support for my 2 children every two weeks. It was hard but it was happening. My ex went to court and my support went from $300 to $450 every two weeks. Plus childcare which was the finest facility that could be found in the area. I paid my rent of $300 mo. I had no money to eat and for insurance or gas. I lost my car because I couldn't get it fixed. I worked at a facility where I was able to raid the food left over or the food that was within 1 or 2 days before expiration date. I ate that food and served it to the kids when they came to visit. I appealed to the child support survices and they said that it indeed was an excessive case but the only thing that they could offer in the way of advice was to tell me to quit my job. Then I could go on welfare with a hardship case and not have to pay any. I rejected that and struggled with making it any way I could. When I took her to court for divorce she wanted to up the money further for support and the judge told her no. She wanted supervised visits because I may say something to them about God. The judge said no. He said I "had been overpaying for all these years and she wasn't going to get any extras." She had a master's degree and a good salary. Do you see my problem? I tell the CSS that I have zero money after cs and they tell me to quit my job and go on welfare. How many others are told that and skip out on their kids in responsibity? It ended up that the court lowered my child support to 300 mo and I at last had some money. I had lost my appartment and was living with a couple at the church by then and I found an apartment for $400 mo everything inc. Anyway, loved the hub and love you, sis.