When Hateful Comments Are Posted To Your Blog

Let's face it for the most part we all want to be liked. Now it's true that some of us (like me) have turned it into such a sport that we sometimes lose sight of ourselves for trying to get everyone to like us. I think it's a little like perfectionists. We all know we're human and can't ever be perfect but try telling that to a perfectionist. The same thing applies, knowing that not everyone is going to like you is a given, right? Not so right when it comes to being me. I don't know if it's my age or what but I do think I'm getting better and the way that I know this is when hateful comments are posted to your blog - Don't Get Me Started!

When I first started the blogging process, the moment a negative comment would come in I would delete it, erase it, do whatever it took to get rid of it as quickly as possible so as to convince the world and myself that it never existed. I thought if I could get rid of it fast enough it wouldn't stick (or would seem as if it never existed at all) but much like Mrs. Macbeth, I found myself mentally not being able to remove the comment from my brain no matter how many times I screamed, "Out damn spot!"

In the reverse, when comments came in that were positive I read and re-read them, sometimes I felt like Sally Field in her Oscar acceptance speech, "You like me, you really, really like me." And for someone who was always the last picked on the playground of life, this validation was very important. Don't get me wrong, I still love when people write in and say they laughed so hard I made coffee go through their nose or tell me that they were feeling the same thing about a certain topic. We all need some validation in our lives, yes? But I don't think I crave it as much. I just enjoy that there are people who read me regularly, get me and enjoy what I have to say. Or the people who haven't read me regularly but write in (I found this article by sheer accident. It's roughly 8:15 in the morning, i'm drinking my first cup of coffee because i need the caffein and then i start reading this article. Well, let me tell you, i could not stop laughing, i had the whole visual picture in my mind. Sadly, everything he said was true, we all have so much stress in our lives that we look for someone to give us clarity especially with our own money. We have all been in this situation at one time or another, maybe not with 401k but money that belongs to us and can't touch even in a moment of desperation. Scott, I just loved your writing, your article MADE MY DAY. I will look at your other articles.)

Recently I've gotten some negative comments from people. Mostly it's on my Vblogs on YouTube (See them all here at http://www.youtube.com/somelikeitscott ). But what I find extraordinary is that most of the negative comments are from people who have watched more than one of my videos. If you hate me that much why are you "tuning" in for more than one episode - change the channel for God Sakes! Sure, I could use the old gay cliché - "me thinks you doth protest too much" (that is a gay cliché isn't it?) and say that it was some closeted queen writing to vent his own frustration about being gay, but I don't really think that to be true. What does amaze me is what they say (and how they can't spell). Here are a couple of the comments from a recent viewer of a couple of my Vblogs. The first is from my first Vblog I ever did where I talk about coming into your home each week via video blog - "I don't want you in my home because u might butt fuck me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the next Michel Jackson" The same person then commented on my vblog about my federal stimulus check - "Wow gay people should be killed, you were not born that way you just got fucked up the ass to many times asshole." To be honest, I did delete these comments but not because like a cat after he pees I was scratching to try to cover it up but because I didn't see any point in leaving nonsensical comments like this on my vblog. What's to be gained?

The thing is that as I grow older I tend to live more clichés than I had intended when I was younger. I learn to take these comments with a grain of salt, as they say. You see, what I've learned is that when people take the time to spew hate, there's really something wrong with them, not me. What is that other cliché about when you point at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you? (I have a million of ‘em) Look, the point is that I want to make people laugh, think and ultimately accept not only me but the many more of me that are out there. There are so many gay people still living their lives in fear of being exposed or growing older than 35 (as that seems to be the gay shelf life in the media). So if there are a few bumps and bruises along the way it's okay, I can take it. Because in spite of what the hateful people say, I'm a man, a gay man, a gay Jewish man, a gay Jewish man who has the love of a gay black man, his cats and his family and that's the validation that's really important to me.

Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com