Depression hurts, or so goes an infamous TV spot that tries to sell you a depression medicine. Little do they know just how painful depression really is. You see, these commercials are talking about the physical affects of depression on the individual sufferer - but some of the most painful symptoms are suffered by the friends and family of a depression sufferer. Depression is a family disease and touches the life of everyone around.

Because of this communal nature of depression pain it can sometimes be appropriate for those who live with and around a depressed individual to confront them about their depression and to encourage them to get better. Sometimes you have to have a depression intervention.

For readers who have never heard of an intervention, it is a social situation where those who love a certain individual who is headed down a wrong path get together to steer the individual down the right path. This practice is very common in people who suffer from various forms of addiction, such as to drugs or to alcohol, but is less common for those suffering from depression.

Depression can usually be seen in two different ways. There is reactive depression and endogenous depression. Reactive depression is a prolonged sadness after a traumatic experience. This most commonly exhibits itself after a loss of a loved one, a break up, or a major life change such as the loss of a job or transplanting to a new community.

Endogenous depression is different in that it comes mainly from a misfiring of the chemical system inside a person's brain. Some wires get crossed or too much or too little of a brain chemical is being absorbed and a person experiences this as feelings of sadness, anxiety, and despair.

This difference in depression will become important when we look at how to tell when an appropriate time is to have an intervention with your depressed friend, spouse, relative, or significant other.

Knowing when you need to have an intervention with a person is going to be your most difficult task. If you jump the gun you could be having an intervention with someone who doesn't really need one. Also, you want to be sensitive and allow someone to grieve if they are experiencing a reactive depression.

You can usually tell when to have an intervention when:

1. They are in clear denial that there is a problem. If a depressed person is unwilling to admit that they are suffering right now you should probably talk to them about. Denial prevents them from getting the help that they need from family, friends, and medical professionals and it is sometimes necessary to break the denial cycle with an intervention.
   
2. There is no grieving occurring in the person but a pronounced sadness. Even if someone entered their depressed state because of some reactive reason, if they are not dealing with the reason for their sadness but they are still really sad it could be a good time to have an intervention. If they are suffering from endogenous depression and are not actively trying to combat it then you might also want to speak up even if they admit that there is a problem.
   
3. They are not currently trying to process their emotions, but are instead trying to hide from them. If your friend is depressed but takes part in risky behavior like drinking, binge eating, cutting, promiscuous encounters with members of the opposite gender, or other dangerous activity it could be a sign that they are hiding from the sadness they are experiencing. If left unchecked, this could develop into an unhealthy lifestyle that could end up in their early death.
   
4. They have been depressed for an extremely large amount of time. The longer the depression the more likely it is that you should have an intervention, especially if they continue to deny that a problem exists (see #1).
   
5. They are expressing suicidal thoughts. If someone you know is depressed and expressing suicidal thoughts then you really should encourage them strongly to get help immediately..
   

Once you have established that a depressed person might benefit from an intervention you should do the following during the course of that intervention:

1. Affirm your desire to help the person suffering from depression.  This intervention is about helping them see their condition so that they can get the help that they need to get better.  You love them and want to see them happy.  That is the basis of your intervention.
   
2. Tell the person how their depression is affecting you. Part of them seeing their depression as a problem is to see that it is affecting others too.  Just remember that this is about helping them see that they have a problem, not blaming them for making your life hard.  Try to stay away from attacking them.
   
3. Invite other family or friends who also have things that they want to say.  The more voices they can hear the better (within reasons).  If all of their closest friends and family are of one voice they have to listen.
   
4. Have a strong call to action.  When confronting them make sure that you give them a strong call to action.  It could be, "We set up a doctors appointment for you tomorrow at 3 P.M.  You should be off of work by then and I will pick you up from your office.  Please go with me.  I need you to go with me."
   
5. Be calm.  It is okay to show your sadness and the pain that their depression is causing you, but do try to remain calm and present.  Tears can flow, but try to refrain from shouting and explosive actions.
   
6. Do not fight.  If they refuse to let the intervention affect them do not fight with them.  Let them respond as they see fit but be firm in your love and the voice of the group.
   

Having a depression intervention is certainly not easy, but sometimes it just has to happen if normalcy and health are to returned to a family.