When did "Dorothy" land in a Biker Bar?
65Dorothy Before the Biker Bar Landing
Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas, Anymore!
When I was 12, my sister and I were sent to Idaho for a summer. We rode with two families in two station wagons. Menfolk in one - in lead. Womenfolk in other - behind. We get to SE Washington and we hear this rumble.. Unmistakable rumble.
"Potato, potato, potato, potato"
Next thing we see is a gang of 75 Hell's Angels surround both cars and we rode this way for an hour. The gal driving was sweating bullets. She was scared spit-less. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I think that's the first time I really felt the need to fly. I was in awe. They broke off when we crossed into Oregon without a word, signal, glance. I saw them as our 'guardian angles' I don't ever remember feeling safer.
Dorothy's Favorite Biker Boots
Kat and Dot take on the World!
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Dot and Kat
My girlfriend Kat rides a Vulcan 900. She's my best friend.
She rides with a club called "*name erased to protect the innocent -me." It's a club, not a gang. The two that started this "friendly" club sing.. oh my gosh that gal can sing. So Kat says we should go hear them.
The setting is this upscale Bistro, taken over by this
"club". Some have heard of me. Kat has talked about me, and I know it's
all good stuff. At this event I got to sit with the older, more mature
members. They were great fun. One gal was a Real Estate Broker! What a
hoot!
Anyhoo, I'm a little rusty with these other chaps. Just across the floor were the 'others'. Now, in my past life I've hung out with some of the gnarliest, That's ok, but when you get these gnarly guys drinking too much, wanting a hug, there's gonna be lots of physical contact. I know this, and I know what's going to be the first thing outta their mouths.. It's inevitable. I've grown to hate this question/comment more than any other. Makes me want to change my name to Tina (which I tried to do when I was 5).
"What flavor are you????" (toothy grin always follows)
I'm
never going to get used to this. I usually get it from much older men.
This time I had no reply. What do you say to a guy carrying a 'pig
sticker'? Um, Certainly not Lima Bean flavored!
I find out
he's a good friend of Kat, so I get on my tippeetoes and kiss his
cheek. He grabs me and pronounces very loudly "Who the hell cares what
flavor she is!! She's MARSHMALLOW filled!". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Belch*
(Ewwwww.)
Jeez, what is that? 'Marshmallow filled?' I'm stunned speechless. (that's not very often, either!) I have NEVER heard this one! I turned bright red, which got a big "WOOHOO! LOOK AT HER BLUSH!" So I do the only thing a girl can do. I grab a nice thumb and finger-full of skin just a few inches below his armpit, on the inside, and give it a hard squeeze. This elicits a yelp of pain and a "Now my girlfriend's gonna see it!"
The only thing more frightening than some of these guys, are some of the girlfriends. Now, granted some may be good gals, but nobody messes with their men. At first glance all you see is boobs and butts. But watch their eyes! Some of them I wouldn't ever want to meet on a street alone. I'm not messing with their men.
I know there is a 'protocol' with these folks,
you don't talk to the women without your man first asking their man if
it's OK, you don't speak until you're spoken to, etc, etc. There are
do's and don'ts. Wide berth, that's what you have to give them, and
don't look into their eyes.. Never attempt a stare down! She made me
lock my door when we got in to leave. She says around this crew you
always lock your doors. I must have left a bruise.. sheesh, Candie.
So
the other day I needed some air and my friend asks me to ride with him.
He has no sissy bar on his V star. 75 mph with no sissy bar. I was in
heaven, and one missed bounce and I would have been, literally, in
heaven.
So here's the picture.. I have on my red/black/silver bike coat, sans body armor. It's great for a sports bike, not this bike. My hair is in braids. I have black boots and black jeans so that's ok, but crap I look like Dorothy from Oz.
I
thought we were going out for a burger? An hour later I find myself in
another biker bar, having a Gin n Tonic on an empty stomach. Dorothy
gets fuzzy. Dorothy is getting glances from the men, not sure what they
mean, but Dorothy is also getting glances from the chicks.. I KNOW what
those mean. Shuffle closer to friend in leathers.. Maybe a little
closer. If he'd sit, I sit on his lap, but he's not getting the glances
so he's not sitting. Are we having fun yet? The feeling's returned to
my legs.. maybe we should go?? Had to squeeze by a couple of guys, *big
happy smile* S'kewze me gents!! I could hear them chuckle as I went
by.. Good, "Dorothy" made a clean get away!
After the gin I was holding on to Doug a little differently than when we started out!! Uh huh, Uh huh, Uh huh!
We made it to the burger joint another hour away, it was a nice neighborhood establishment.. no bikers!
We
were on our way home and I kept feeling this odd draft from the back..
reach around..there's a gap from the bottom of my coat to the top of my
pants.. Had to ask him to pull over so I could pull my pants back up..
Seems I've lost weight and, well, um, adjustments were made, and we
were back on the road...... again!!!
So, back up boys.. I may be Dorothy, but I got a license to pack!
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Comments
Bikers are NOTHING but sexist. There are rules for their women.. they have their own "subculture" If you were to be on the street and just say Hey in passing you'd be ok, but if you were in their environment, esp not so if you were in another club and were wearing the colors of that club (even benign clubs have to be careful), it isn't done. ever. It's interesting stuff. Thanks for writing!
Oh, and if you find your self at a stop sign and a group is at another stop sign, you need to let them ALL go together. Do not demand 'Your Turn'. You will be escorted off the road, surrounded until they've all gone by and their repair van.. if they have one..
I've never been a submissive female, but whenever I was out with a certain biker friend, I understood the value of keeping my mouth shut and pretending to be part of the woodwork. The protocol of that culture is quite fascinating, but some of their "mamas" (aka "ol' ladies") were just plain scary. More dangerous than the men IMHO.
Great hub, Candie!
IMHO, too.. wide berth!!!! thanks Jama!
I am quite sure I would run in the opposite direction if I were to see bikers. There is something about them that scares me silly. Ignorance is not always bliss.
You really don't have that much to worry about, just don't stare, my smile nice and be polite. Some of them are just plain scary, no 2 ways about it. Never touch their bikes.
I never had any trouble with bikers one on one, but I would not go into a biker bar. I know where I don't belong. I'm not so great at social cues to begin with. That ain't the place to take a wrong step.
Right-o Tom.. not a good place for you either if you're dressed like "Dorothy"! Thanks for the visit!
I spent a weekend at Murrell's Inlet near Myrtle Beach last year when there was an annual bikers' reunion, or whatever it's called. The place was full of them. What surprised me, though, was how many of them brought their bikes in the back of the truck or on a trailer, and only rode them around when they got there. All very polite and friendly, but I kept a wide berth, anyway.
Hi Teresa! In the rallies (as they are called) most of them come from far away and a truck is a lot more comfortable and keeps their bikes cleaner. In these settings you will find Yuppie bikers and hard core members. They are ok, until they've been drinkin' awhile. On the street you're gonna be safer. They have their special places to be themselves and you should stay outta there, but most of the rallies are just good "fun" and everybody is there for the comraderie. It's a place for everybody to see old friends, catch up and showoff. There are several of these around the country many times a year. Sturgis is The event for this. They also get together and do smaller, more local runs. If you go, bring a nice leather halter and short leather skirt and you'll have 'em eating out of your hand! Thanks!
Love, love, loved this!! I was raised around bikers...my eldest brother was an angel and always had visitors hangin' around our house.... I learned to ride and hold on tight, very tight from the time I was 5 years old.... I still love to ride, but now I prefer a sissy bar.... these old arms are not as strong as they used to be...and I don't want to go tumbling down the highway, something I never worried about as a young one! Never heard the saying "spit-less". I will definitely be using that one from now on :-)
Hey Montana! You made it to my hublet!! You've never heard "spit-less"? Oy, my girl! I keep picturing me bouncing down the highway like a big red/silver/black ball... boing boing boing..splat.. Doug promised me I'd be safe, and I was, but I really prefer a bar.. altho after that gin n tonic I was holding on to him a bit differently than before it, that's fer sure!
Very interesting Candie. I've never been to any kind of biker bar...mostly because it frightens me! Perhaps now I know why...
C, dont' go in as "dorothy". Maybe blacken a front tooth and wear an eye patch. Gotta have a bandana around your head and smell bad.. other than that, I'd stay away.. maybe go to the Red Lion Lounge for a drink!
I've been to a couple of weekend concerts sponsored by biker groups. When bikers run the security, all of their guests are safe, and control is maintained. They are wonderful hosts.
Yep Yep Tom! In those venues you would be safe. They can be wonderful hosts, some of the clubs are downright great. It's the 1%ers that you gotta watch your step with, but even they, in the right place are ok..
You go, Dorothy--ride that hog! hehe :D
Janetta, are you puttin off your hub challenge??? Get on your bike, I'll meet ya at the bar and we'll find some laps to sit on!!!
woohoo, I'm on my way!!!!
Not a crowd I'm familiar with either. But I admire you for holding your own in there. I'd have been toast.
I'm laughing so hard at the thought of me in a leather mini skirt and halter. . .
Laughing Mom - Now you know the rules - get out there and partay! Thanks for coming in!!
Theresa - Ok, now you need to pick out a small but tastful fake tattoo to put on the top of your boob and you are sitting pretty! ok, let's work on your walk, did I mention you need boots? High top black work boots will be more comfortable, but you can't go wrong with high heel boots. not great to ride in, but with the skirt, it can't fail.. Bandana for your hair (helmet hair is just icky- ask Dorothy) Head up, shoulders out, you've got it!! Knock em dead! Never let 'em see you sweat!
This was cool....many grins! Thanks! :)
Tom, many thanks to you! I would advise you to ignore the attire suggestions made to Teresa, and go with just the chaps. and a vest and a dew rag.. keep it simple. hugs!
I have green cowboy chaps (with frillies).....a red vest and can I use my old Mickey Mouse hat in place of a dew rag? I can cut the ears off. :)Hugs Back! :)
Tom, you can wear that around my house anytime, but buddy..you be goin' in alone (not that I don't love ya or nothin) but being "Dorothy" I got an image to uphold! Oh, do you happen to have a lasso? Maybe in velvet? Just thinkin' out loud!
Nope....could spray paint a rope though! Back when I played music...I played a few Biker bars....a lot of Skynard and Hank Jr. They were always rowdy...but fun!
Did you play behind a screen? Southern rock would be a great place for a rowdy crowd of any mix!!
Oh yeah...chicken wire....at The Long Branch in Laurel Indiana...usually packed with Iron Horsemen.
Do you have any footage of this event? I would love to see it!! and a picture of your greet chaps with frilllies and red vest and mouse ears.. I await photos!! HA!!
What a fun ride! I've never been in a biker bar either, but I have found myself socializing with some Westies in NY (Irish Mafia) so I kinda get where your coming from. You are obviously the adventurous type and I bet you cut quite a figure in your leathers! Thanks for a great read!
You're a brave girl Candie. I used to date a guy who rode bikes, loved being on the back.. But a bikie gang was never going to be my thing.
Marshmallow...hmmm. :P:P
Christoph! Welcome!! Close cousins in a lot of ways.. it's fun to play dress up once in a while!! I can even sneer if I have to... grrrrr. Thanks!!
Jewels - a new face, HI!!! It's good if they've bathed like in the last month, otherwise..ewwwww. Find a good one and hop on again!!
FP - marshallow... I know, right? It coulda been worse, maybe.. Hmmm. I pictured myself as a "Peep" the little bunnies that come out at Easter.. That's what I thot of. :P
Hehe, you need to add this to your game Candie...'Get called marshmallow by ferocious biker' or move back five paces'....:P
Oh FP, I shall do that tomorrow.. check it later! How are ya? How's India?
India's hot!! I mean the weather...but with today being the last phase of general elections, the political scene is hotting up too! :P
How's the hub challenge treating you?
It is so odd to me, here's it's midnight and I'm typing to someone wayyyy over there.. So great! Have a margarita and come play the game.. I'm trying to copywrite it, found the link, but it's not showing like it says it should, so I will keep looking.
Work on it Candie...you've got a winner there! Meanwhile, cheers, the margarita's a great idea!
Btw, where is Somewhere Over the Rainbow? :)
Candie V Thanks for a peek at a different world and different sub culture. As I rule I avoid bikers.Wisely i think. Now I also know to avoid biker chicks unless they are "Dorothy"
Soory ...no footage....it was back in the 70s....I wore normal stuff...Bikers would have come through the chiken wire for green frilly chaps....and tossed me back through the chicken wire! :)
FP - Kingston, WA is my slice of the rainbow!
Sixty - welcome to my hublet, awww thank you for the compliment! Will try to find a photo of "Dorothy" for this piece, thank you for visiting!
Tom - I bet you're not sorry! Lol.. Do you remember the movie Pee Wee's Big Adventure? When he's in the biker bar and borrows those white shoes and they play "tequila" while he dances on the bar? You could do that in your green frilly chaps! TEQUILA!
FP, 2 more cards have been added to the game. Hugs to you!
eek! Those biker types seem scary!
Cindy, you and me can take em with one hub tied behind our backs.. Whaddya say, girl? You in or out? Take a break from moving and let's go ruffle some feathers.. or leathers..
Gin is a rotten drink, I prefers my rum and as for bikers we pirates have them for breakfast then spit them out !
I actually love a nice glass of gin with coke.
BadCo, you're a good pirate!! You can rescue me anytime!! I shall have a rum waiting for you! Do you like dark or clear?
CabinGirl, oooh a new face! Welcome! Never had gin with coke, I like rum with coke, myself! Maybe I'll give it a try! Thank you for stopping by!!
Hey, there's a big bike rally in Ardenvoir, WA this coming weekend....... there's gonna be a "gay" wedding! Bet you didn't see that coming:)
Hey Globalsue! Nothing ever surprises me with this group..men or women? They are a microcosm of the rest of the world! Where is Ardenvoir? I'm in Kingston N. of Bremerton
Wow,,,what do you have to do to be sent to Idaho ? and did you change your flavor to double cheeseburger?
Hey funnybone - I was just editing this... Had to spend the summer on the farm with grandparents... Nope, I'm still "girl" flavored!..Unless I drop something down my shirt, which does sometimes happen, then I'm cheeseburger flavored. Thanks for visiting!!
I guess "to each their own" right? I'm not really the biker guy type that's for sure. Thumbs up article. Come check out one of my hubs these days.
Lesley, I shall today! Thank you!
When ever I rode my rice-burner, I was always nervous of the hard core looking Harley riders, but as long as I looked at their bikes with respect, they never gave me cause to fear. ;)
Papermoon!! Welcome!! They will give ya a little ribbing about the "rice burner" LOL, but they also have an underlying respect for bikes in general. You got the respect the bike thing right. I always ask permission to touch.. I've even been allowed to sit (amazing)!!! Rare!!! If they have a "mama" she is the ONLY one allowed on that back seat.. ever.. Thank you for visiting! Come back again!
Hmm, yeah about the touch thing, I figure only "chicks" can do that. ;)
Paper Moon - What I usually do when I see one I really admire I'll ask what I call "girl questions".. unless it's obvious art work.. how long have you ridden, where's your favorite place to travel, how big is the engine (this requires a "wow!" or "that'd paste your lips to the back of your head!") Then if they really seem comfortable ask to touch the seat..if it's nice leather work. It works all the time for me - unless the guys got a girl friend near by, then forget it all and move away to another group!
What a great story! poor poor Dorothy...well, perhaps not so poor in the end. I am thinking you didn't mind the stares from the fellas all that much, and if I know girls, they get a kick out of showing up their rivals. Keep the pistol handy though )
Lol Trooper22! Dot did prevail! And you know I (I mean, er, Dot) didn't mind the boy's stares at all.. but there were 3 gals that weren't to be messed with. If I have to pull it I mean to use it. Better to offer to buy the next pitcher of beer! Hugs! Glad you came to visit!
A big group of leather clad tattooed bikers always kind of scared me. Now FOR SURE I will not stare...ESPECIALLY at the women. Had no idea that they were so tough.
Let me know if Teresa dons her outfit with fake tattoo and joins you for a drink in a biker bar. Now THAT would be worth more than just a hub or two! LOL
LOL!! You are on, I shall smuggle a camera in for photos of her dancing on the bar to "Tequila" (Like PeeWee Herman) They are a force to be sure.. Just be polite and give them lots of elbow room!
Mighty Mom says:
8 months ago
This is a culture I'm not familiar with, Candie. You write as if you're somewhat comfortable but also keeping a respectful distance.
One sentence that really jumped out at me: "I know there is a 'protocol' with these folks, you don't talk to the women without your man first asking their man if it's OK, etc, etc"
Say what!!??? You, as a woman, can't make chick chat with one of the biker chicks until permission is granted from her man to your man? What if you don't have a man with you? Sounds rather sexist to me, but then, no one asked me (and if I've been staring, I doooo apologize)!!!