Toddler Tantrums
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The golden age of the temper tantrum
At the two year old milestone, often described as the terrible twos, one can start to see the first assertions of independence from the growing child. Tantrums which often lead to scenes of purple faced parents trying to calm a kicking child, are actually the sign that a child is developing a healthy sense of independence and can be easily seen under a positive light.
At this age children start to understand what they want and how to get it and start to "push their parents' buttons" to get what they want. The more attention a parent gives a screaming child, the more the child learns that negative behaviour is rewarded with the parents' interest. If the parents succumb to the child's requests in order to calm him down, the higher the chances that the episode will be repeated every time the child needs to assert his will.
In theory it seems simple, the parent has to be assertive and not let the child get away with doing whatever he wants, but in reality we all know that we are in certain situations where it is embarrassing to have your child kicking and screaming in the middle of a mall with strangers looking on, and sometimes passing comments on what to do.
Following are some tips to placate temper tantrums and bring back peace in the family.
Easy does It
Remember to keep calm. Even in the most frustraing situations, try to keep in control of the situation. At this age children are learning to cope with a new overwhelming feeling which can be very scaring - ANGER. The parent's objective when a temper tantrum hits should be to teach the child to handle anger and anxiety. An angry parent increases the child's level of anxiety rather than calming him down.
Same thing goes for spanking or screaming at the child. Even though we are all human, and I have to confess there are times when I feel like screaming my way to the moon, the child is at an age when he is learning how to react according to the situation. If you are overly aggressive with the child when you are angry, you are teaching him that it is ok to hit back or to yell at people when you are angry. I know it is hard, but keep down your tone and your hands to your side. Giving your child a time out could give better results than spanking or screaming at him.
The psychological chess game
See a tantrum as a psychological chess game. At this age the child is all out to attract your attention. He learns what buttons to push to get what he wants. Be assertive and when you make a decision never back up. If your son (or daughter) learns that if he screams hard enough and makes a scene he will get the toy, he will use that technique whenever he wants something that you don't think is right for him. Again it is hard but you have to stick to your decisions and be consistent. If the child is not allowed sweets before lunch, stick to your rules and your routine. Routine and a fixed set of rules ease the child's learning of what is appropriate and what is just not right.
Don't let guilt over ride your emotions.You are not being cruel because you are not letting your child have his way. You are teaching your child the rudiments of discipline and putting barriers to things which are dangerous or simply not appropriate.
Be prepared.I remember a time when I used to get out of the house with my keys,my cell phone and my wallet, but becoming a mum meant learning to carry a bag of tricks. Remember that children get cranky when they are tired or hungry. Make sure to have snacks and a drink handy if you are going out, and try not to subject very young children to activities which last for more than a couple of hours without giving them a fair time to get some rest. It is also a good idea to carry along one of your son's favourite toys.It will serve as a good distraction if your toddler insists on making you buy the entire toystore or simply doesn't want to walk away from the doggies in the pet shop.
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This is part of a regular series of posts on search experience updates that runs on Fridays. Look for the label This week in search and subscribe to the series. - Ed. For Google, the quality of search has always been about getting you the exact, most relevant answer you were looking for in the shortest amount of time -- what we call "time-to-result." These notions of relevance and speed have been baked into our product development and are always a top priority for us. Every day we work through design, observations, and analytics to make sure that the Google you use today is better than the Google you used yesterday. In fact, at any given time we're conducting between 50 and 200 search experiments, all of which are focused on getting you the exact result you're looking for -- faster. And, given that 20% of Google search queries are ones we haven't seen in the past 90 days, and there are well over 300 billion web pages to crawl, you can imagine the extent of that challenge! With 2009 coming to a close (not to mention the first decade of the millennium), now is a good time to look back over the evolution of time-to-result with a nod towards what's to come in 2010 and beyond. In the beginning of the decade, many of us were like student drivers: we used search to navigate the web feeling apprehensive and deliberate with navigation (the excruciating wait times with dial-up modems didn't make it easy either!) Since then, we've all learned how to search better and faster, especially as the web has developed and diversified over time. As more and different types of information came online, we searched for it -- news, video, books, and maps became part of our daily search diet. Today, the majority of Internet users have become experienced web warriors, armed with broadband access, faster computers, and blazing fast browsers, and the time it takes to get the perfect search result has increasingly become more and more important. 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But it's not just about actual latency -- it's also about perceived latency. During the development of Google News, which is quite a dynamic and complicated page, we broke the results page into smaller blocks of HTML, appearing above and below the fold. This smart tabling dramatically improves the way you perceive the page's load time. Although Google News takes about 8 seconds to fully load due to the richness of the page, the results you first see above the fold are there nearly instantly, thus altering that perception of latency. So, it's clear speed and latency enhancements are an important focus for us, especially since they make the experience you have with our products much more useful and enjoyable. Above all else, we care about getting you an answer as fast as possible, and we do this through not only improving our search results but also by working with the web community to speed up the entire web. 2009 brought some incredible advancements that are worth noting. In 2009, our "under the hood" infrastructure focus became more pronounced, as we kicked off our Make the Web Faster campaign. Our goal has been simple, to make the web browsing experience as fast as turning the pages of a magazine. To help increase browsing speeds, we released projects such as Page Speed to help webmasters optimize their sites, and Google Public DNS, to help people obtain faster, safer, and more valid DNS results. Finally, we started work on SPDY, pronounced "SPeeDY" -- a new protocol designed to minimize latency. The notion of these "under the hood" improvements are vital to building a faster web. But what about the relevance and comprehensiveness of the actual "result" aspect of time-to-result? Early this year, we saw a lot of evidence that people are getting much more sophisticated in their searching, asking Google to solve harder problems (for example, by making longer and more complex queries). For this reason, in 2009 alone we have released many improvements: nearly 500 ranking changes; well over 100 UI changes; tripled how much you see in local universal results; brought personalized search to all users; and tripled the frequency with which you see images when you enter a query. To better help you choose from the results we improved the way that we summarize the results by dynamically varying the length of the description, creating jump-to shortcuts that take you straight to the relevant section of a page, and displaying the site hierarchy to inform you of the context of the page within the website. To save time and keystrokes, we now show you universal search features in Suggest; try searching for for weather, currency conversions, or flight status. This dramatically improves your ability to benefit from previous queries, getting you answers more quickly and easily than ever before. And just last week, we brought speed to a whole new level with realtime search -- so that you can find information that is literally just seconds old. As these "time-to-result" efforts continue to emerge in 2010, we'll keep pushing the envelope on indexing speed, accuracy, and comprehensiveness. And that means you can expect the search experience to get more social, more personal, more interactive, and more ubiquitous -- getting you the information you're exactly looking for when and where you need it. Ultimately, the faster you get what you're looking for, the more enriched your life will be, and that makes us very happy. So what's the ultimate goal in the future? Allowing only a single barrier to instantly getting you the search result you're looking for -- the speed of light. Here's to a great 2009, and an even greater 2010 in search! Posted by Jack Menzel, Group Product Manager, Search








