When firing an employee isn't the way to go
66Not quite relevant, but you should check out toothpastefordinner.com
My time as a City Year AmeriCorps member has taught me so much more than I ever thought I could learn about myself and life in general. One of the things I have recently learned is to have more compassion, even at a time when such a thing seems unthinkable.
I was having an issue with a co-worker of mine (you can read a little bit about it here). I had gotten in a real tiff with her because I felt she wasn't doing enough work, and my other co-workers agreed. I had confronted her about it, and it was so ugly, she threatened to quit, and I wasn't exactly opposed to the idea.
I talked to my boss about it, and no matter what I or my co-workers said, he would not agree that she should quit or be fired. We didn't understand; at every job I had before, such an employee was intolerable and was fired eventually. Such a concept didn't even seem to materialize in my boss' brain, and I couldn't see how, if he cared about our team, he could let such a person continue sitting in her chair, earning money, and doing nothing. I was convinced that it was not okay, that my boss was wrong, and so I approached her again.
My boss stopped me before I got too far. Every time I stated my case or made a comment, he took it down and made it seem like I was the wrong one. I couldn't understand and grew incredibly upset.
He sent my co-worker away, which enraged me even more. I wanted to talk to her, for chrissakes! Someone has to do it.
He sat down with me and helped me realize what was going on. He did agree that it was not okay that work was not being done on her side. However, it was not her fault.
How is it not her fault? I asked. She is here just like the rest of us, even living with some of us, makes the same amount of money... what's stopping her?
Apparently, her background was full of discouragement, insults and put-downs, and low self-esteem. She was never motivated to do well because everyone made it seem like there was no point, and that she couldn't do well anyway. What she needed was encouragement, and someone to be a good role model by doing good work. Supposedly I am the good role model.
So she returned the next day, and we had a long talk together. We talked things through and found a way to work together by teaching each other things. (I could probably lighten up a little anyway.) I'm excited with this new outlook on working with others... it's not just about preserving the way things are, but helping others and maybe learning a little from them too :) Maybe this isn't the way to succeed at running a huge corporation, but when you're a part of a non-profit, you might as well benefit from kindness.
Additional resources
- What is a Co-Worker?
Brief and Straightforward Guide: What is a Co-Worker? - AskMen.com - Coworker etiquette
How to interact with your coworkers. - Dealing with difficult co-workers
|
Bad Bosses, Crazy Coworkers & Other Office Idiots: 201 Smart Ways to Handle the Toughest People Issues
Price: $10.89
List Price: $16.95 |
|
"Aputure" Pro Coworker Wireless Remote, RF Radio Shutter Cable Release for Nikon D1, D1x, D1h, D2, D2x, D2h, D3, D3x. D3h, D100, D200, D300, D300s, D700, F5, F6
Price: $34.95
List Price: $142.87 |
|
Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job
Price: $10.23
List Price: $16.95 |
|
Cute CAT Cats Badge Holder ID Card Credentials Lanyard - Travel Accessories Unique Christmas Gifts Gift Ideas for Co-Workers CoWorker Him Her Man Me Woman Women Ladies STOCKING STUFFER
Price: $6.99
List Price: $12.99 |
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
It's very frustrating when working with people like that. I think she should have been fired, I've seen it too many times where the boss will coddle one employee.
Compassion and motivation do work. I've seen it.
Very interesting take on a difficult situation. It helps sometimes to see ourselves as other see us and apply those lessons in life. Lending a helping hand can work, but sometimes the hand just simply gets bitten!
But that should not stop that hand from going out.
A kindnesss offered is often it's own reward.
What a testimony of growth! I admire you for working through it.
I must say that it takes a lot to write a hub like this one. I am proud for you and like to read that your change in vision has helped restore a down hill battle. Thank you for sharing your story i feel this is one that can help others. Nice job.
Glassvisage, I hope it works out for all of you. Your hub described the situation perfectly. However, I have grave misgivings. This coddling is unlikely to help your co-worker, and it could end up affecting everyone else adversely.
When I was a student teacher there was a student assistant that the master teacher insited I take. This girl was very intelligent, but she was constantly causing classroom disruptions and I requested she be put in another exploratory class. Since a student is supposed to be responsible and follow the classroom rules in this position I did not understand why my master teacher insisted on keeping her. She said this girl had great potential and needed the motivation to do a good job. Well I continued to have problems with her on and off, until one day she stole money out of my wallet and threw it back behind a trash can in the girl's bathroom. At this point most of the teachers believed me and felt this girl needed to be taken out of the assitant position, but for some reason the master teacher insisted this girl still needed motivation to reach her full potential. Well since the girl thought she could get away with stealing from one teacher she did it to another, which resulted in her being suspended. I really have to say I do not think giving her so many chances helped her, but that is just my take on this one situation.
I know in my own life I am ready and willing to often do more than some of my co-workers. I actually enjoy doing this because I feel if I want something done a certain way I am ready to do it. One of the best things I have done is just to focus on myself and my work and to block out what others are doing. For me this works because in the past I used to get really upset or frurstrated focusing on others. Just a suggestion, but maybe follow what your supervisor suggesting and resist the urge to discuss her with other co-workers. In the end it is up to him to terminate her anyway, so I think the best thing to do is to ignore the situation. As long as you own work is getting done I would just focus on that. Focusing on how we can best help our customers and staying out of office conflict can bring a lot peace and productivity. Let her sink because future employers will know what she has done. Her slacking off is not going to win her stellar references in the future.
Thank you all for your sincere comments on this issue! I'm happy to say that things have cooled down now between my co-worker and I, but I really loved reading all of your unique statements. I think that the "coddling" many of you referred to can work, but it depends on the circumstances and personality of the employee. I actually think in this case, my co-worker was encouraged by the faith of my boss, and her performance is improving. However, in the case you brought up, Sweetie Pie, some people will take advantage of that faith and do negative things with it. Thanks for bringing up that example.
glassvisage,
Another thing I thought about re-reading this is maybe there is the possibility the boss is not doing his job thoroughly if he wishes to keep an employee who does nothing. In most businesses I have seen people who not do much stay for a short while, but after a few months they usually go. At this point I think maybe your supervisor is making a mistake to just let her get off the hook with this, so in a few weeks if things do not improve you could bring this issue up with him.
good hub...this is really rediculas .....government has to take some strick steps to prevent these....because it is too much to live without a job....
Unemployment is 10.6%. If a person does not want to do the job, get rid of them. Work is for production, not a therapy session, and if that person doesn't want to do it, there are plenty of others who will.
get your ex back now says:
11 months ago
Hey glassvisage. Very very nice hub. Similar thing happened to me. The resolutions wasnt so straightforward though.
I totally understand.