These days, couples don't have to be in love to get married; motivating factors take the front seat, while love takes the rear

When I was a girl, I used to daydream of falling in love with a handsome young man, who will also be madly in love with me. This guy would propose marriage in a dramatic manner- under the moonlight at the beach, with the cool breeze fanning my hair and skin. The sound of the waves in the background would complete the setting, but I had read a novel titled Fools Rush In, and there were enough details of the beach to picture the scene. It turned out that my friends were also daydreaming about handsome guys, beaches and proposals. All our romantic daydreams had only two consistent components - ‘love' and ‘good looks.'

Today, girls are still dreaming, only that the characters and settings in their reveries have completely changed. In place of the sound of the sea waves in the background, today's girls imagine a Lincoln Navigator, or a BMW convertible parked in the grounds of a posh house, and the setting is a mansion somewhere . This handsome guy must also have a tie-knotting job in a new generation bank, or better still in an oil company, and he must be a bachelor!

On their own, dreams are quite harmless. However, some people cannot separate daydreams from real life, and this is where the problem lies. Within the past couple of years, something terrible happened to the psyche of Nigerian youths, (and adults). Boys want to become multi-millionaires at 20, and all the girls want to marry a Bill Gates, or a Dangote. A man is asking a girl out, and all she's dying to know is "Where does he work" and Where does he live?" When I was much younger, I knew two girls who used to say they can never marry a guy who lives in certain areas in the city. Many years after and still unmarried, they now have a different opinion. The other day one said she doesn't care where a guy lives, as long as he's ready to marry her.

So women are greedy, but so are men. Devine and charles had been in a relationship for four years. When Titus met another girl, he broke up with Folake, claiming that their relationship could not work because they were incompatible. Six months later, Devine won the American lottery. Charles went back to her that very week, blaming the devil for the break up of their relationship, (poor devil). He also claimed that he had a dream where it was revealed to him that Devine was his God-ordained wife. The man had suddenly become a prophet, all because of the American vision!

I've discovered that people now consciously select whom to fall in love with, after considerations such as income, profession, family background, etc. If everything is to their satisfaction, they allow themselves to ‘fall in love'. Little wonder many marriages are crashing within the first year.

I wish girls will realize that marriage is not so much the type of car a man drives or where he lives, but who he is. The most permanent thing about a man is his character, that is truly who he is. Within the twinkling of an eye, a man can move from squating in susurb to high mansion /castle, or can change his Legedez to a jeep. All it takes is a new job, promotion on the old job, or a single contract. Just one letter can move your life forward in leaps. But if you marry a handsome devil who lives at Castle, you lost your peace the very day you signed the dotted lines. Your marriage can only be headed in one of two directions- in a painful divorce, or if you're resilient, it will be a miserable sojourn that can only be compared to hell.

I'm not saying you should marry a pauper; and I'm not one of those who believe that being rich will take you to hell. But the simple point I'm trying to make is that when you're seeking a marriage partner, emphasis should not be on those superficial things, they will all fade away, only a man's character will remain constant. Once you find a man with a good heart, gainfully employed, hardworking and God-fearing, you've found a good deal, go for it. Money will surely come.