When you have a bad feeling that something is going to happen...
93
It Isn't Necessarily Something of a Paranormal Nature
Most of the time, when you have a feeling that something bad is going to happen, it is caused by one of three things:
1. There is something that you know is going on that has the potential of resulting in something bad happening; or else is a matter of increasingly defying the odds of having something bad happen.
Just as we often pick up "subtle vibes" from meeting new people, we often pick up (without ever realizing it) similar subtle vibes about ourselves and any number of situations. My most memorable example is that when I was expecting one of my babies I "just felt like" the baby would be born early. There was no outward reason to think that, and the doctor didn't take me seriously when I told him I "just had a feeling" the baby would arrive too early. Once I reached five months along I had dreams about having a tiny, tiny, baby. (In one dream, the tiny baby was sitting happily in a crib, so they weren't horrible dreams.) On the first evening of the childbirth class the instructor asked who thought they may not go the whole six weeks. My hand just seemed to go up without my really having any reason to raise it. The class was to meet for a second time the following week. I was not there. Instead, I was delivering my baby at 34 weeks.
The baby was born breech, and it was discovered that he had been in an odd position. I had always known that my "baby bump" was kind of off to the side; and I had been far more uncomfortable than anyone should be so early in the pregnancy. The point is I was probably getting those "vibes" that something was "off" with the pregnancy, even though all seemed generally normal. With the next pregnancy I recognized the absence of feeling "off".
There are any number of those kind of "vibes" we can pick up on when there's a situation that is "sending them". The "carefree" person who knows he has several fire hazards in his home may not really pay much attention to the risk, but somewhere in the back of his mind he may know he's liviing a little dangerously. Some who feels his life is out of control may pick up on "vibes" that tell him something bad is going to happen.
2. You may be particularly stressed out and anxious (and possibly suffering from depression, as well).
With regard to stress and anxiety, when we're under stress or anxiety we start to live "under the influence" of "stress chemicals" and the changes in our bodies that occur when we're living under stress. We aren't are "usual calm selves", so that, alone, makes us feel more generally nervous (needless to say). Depending on the number of causes of stress, and the severeity of stress/distress, we get can to a point where we don't just feel uncertain or ungrounded, we can start to get into the "what's-going-to-happen-next" kind of thinking.
Going through recent (or fairly recent) grief or serious loss; or going through too much grief or serious loss in too short a period of time; can contribute to that kind of thinking. Even when we think grief or loss occurred "a while ago" there are times when we underestimate how long it takes to fully bounce back from such things.
A friend once described the way life's troubles come like this: She said troubles can be like frosting on a cake. Some people can have a thin layer spread over the whole cake (as when many, many, smaller troubles keep occurring over a long period of time); or they can have "one, giant, lump dumped in one spot on the cake" (as when some extremely devastating loss occurs). In both types of situations a person can develop that sense that life will come at him from out of the blue and "kick him in the head" once again. We learn from our experiences, and sometimes we learn that bad things come at us "out of the blue". Sometimes, too, we over-learn that hard lesson and can have a difficult time finding our way back to a more appropriate, realistic, sense of well-being.
3. Some people, for whom everything in life is generally good, develop a worry that the odds of having something bad happen will inevitably turn against them. Depending on the person and his experiences, this worry can be either relatively minor or, instead, an actual fear.
In general, this kind of thought is something that doesn't bother most people much, even if it has occurred to them and they've had to tuck it in the back of their minds. Some people, however, are plagued by more disturbing degrees of this kind of thinking. This kind of thinking, though, is usually more "open" than that feeling people sometimes get that something bad is going to happen, even though they don't quite know what it may be.
Needless to say, anyone plagued by too many worrisome thoughts or feelings should consider seeking professional help. Often, however, by being aware of how "spooky" thoughts can occur as a result of that subtle awareness that we (or people close to us) are inviting disaster, or as a result of living with a generally "unsettled" feeling as a result of stress/distress; we can better understand the roots of those "spooky" thoughts and see them for what they truly are.
|
The Instinct to Heal: Curing Depression, Anxiety and Stress Without Drugs and Without Talk Therapy
Price: $6.50
List Price: $15.95 |
|
The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook for Kids: Help for Children to Cope with Stress, Anxiety & Transitions (Instant Help / Nhp)
Price: $10.23
List Price: $16.95 |
|
Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation-Guided Meditation/Relaxation Techniques decrease anxiety, stress, anger
Price: $8.99
List Price: $15.95 |
|
Xmood - Reduce stress and anxiety, Elevate your mood
Price: $17.99
List Price: $59.95 |
|
National Geographic: Stress - Portrait of a Killer
Price: $13.75
List Price: $19.98 |
|
Anxiety & Stress Reduction
Price: $0.99
|
|
Resources Anxiety & Stress Canine Calming Support, 120 Tablets
Price: $19.99
|
|
EMDR: The Breakthrough "Eye Movement" Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma
Price: $6.74
List Price: $17.95 |
- The Hidden Dangers of Stress part 1 physical symptom...
The Hidden Dangers of Stress - Part 1: Physical Symptoms Have you ever wondered why you feel achy all of a sudden, or why your leg twitches suddenly as you're sitting at your desk? Do you develop a headache,... - HOW TO AVOID STRESS
Many issues of life we are faced with has actually exposed us to a lot of stress, some are able to handle their stress and because of this they have been able to give us their own remedy to overcoming or... - Natural Anxiety Relief
(Please see my other hubs which have new information I have learned since publishing this hub.) You can purchase all the nutraceuticals you need at wholesale prices at: www.iherb.com - use promotional code... - Work Stress Symptoms and Suggestions
Everyone of employment age experiences periods of career related fatigue and frustration in the extreme. Stress in the workplace is neither new nor secret. It is has no regard for convenient timing and is...
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
SEM Pro, my short reply to your question (before you bother reading more here) is, "no, I don't really have suggestions" :)
There's that "weird" feeling that something awful is going to happen, that's different from always worrying. If I had a friend who was always talking about having that kind of sense (with no apparent reason for it) that something bad was going to happen, I think I'd mention that I had "heard" anxiety can cause that kind of feeling and suggest he do a little research (in "legitimate" psychology/psychiatry sources) on that to help him understand his "spooky" feelings more. I'd point out that it is well known that panic attacks can come with a sense of "impending doom" (as a quick way to point out the well known connection between anxious feelings and "spooky" feelings), because that may help guide the person in a good direction for his research. If he were to look up a few things about how anxiety causes a sense of "unsettled-ness" in legitimate sources he would also read when a person may want to consider seeking professional help. People who have that "weird, spooky" feeling something bad will happen often do talk about it to others.
Being a "big worrier" can also come when someone is already stressed out/anxious. The sense of concern with "plain old, big worrying" is more easy to understand because there is usually a real situation over which someone will worry (rather than just getting that vague feeling). I know if I'm stressed out/anxious over something "in general"; and then one of my grown kids doesn't shop up when s/he said, I'm more likely to think something bad happened than if my day has been normal (in which case I'm more likely to just assume they left late or stopped off somewhere). Being a "big worrier" can also come with just having a pessimistic view of life, and it come can with some of negative/hopeless feelings associated with depression.
On the other hand, in the example I gave about the premature baby, people thought I was "just a worrier". Sometimes the person who seems to worry too much does have some reason to worry and may know something more about a situation than the "non-worrier" person does. Some people worry quite a bit but know how to manage their worry well. Others don't manage it well.
I have a friend who is (by anybody's standards) a "ridiculous worrier". His worries are not unfounded, and much of the time he's actually quite right to be concerned. Most of the time, though, he is unskilled at managing his own worries. I've known him for a long time, and he's always been like he is. Sometimes we will occasionally even joke a little about his nature.
I don't think I'd ever suggest someone seek professional help unless the person were complaining about how his worrying was making his life miserable. In my opinion, my friend worries too much. In his opinion, I may not be "sufficiently aware of the reasons he sees for worrying". At the same time, I have a friend or two who sees me as too much of a worrier; while I see them as "being a little too cavalier about some things". Unless my extreme-worrier friend were to start complaining about his own worrying, I just leave him to his own personality/thinking and accept him as he is. There are times when I will point out some of my own reasoning for either not worrying or for "having to put it out of my head"; and I think sometimes he may see that what I say makes some sense.
Another excellent informative article. Thanks for answering my request.
Nice work Lisa. There is a clear distinction between 'worry' and 'intuition'. As you suggest, intuition often comes from reading and understanding situations without being consciously aware that we are doing so. I've heard a lot about psychics who do 'cold reading' drawing clues from their clients reactions. I'm sure that there are those who are aware of using 'cold reading' and cynically tease their clients along, but equally I suspect there are those who read their clients reactions unknowingly and believe themselves to be the genuine article.
Amanda, thanks. I have a funny example of what you mentioned. Years ago I was working at a company. I worked there for years, so I had just gotten kind of used to picking up on how things went on. After a while, someone could just see "patterns" in how things went on. I worked with someone fairly closely, and for some reason I began "predicting" which of the "hot shots" would be the next go "shock the company" by getting (essentially) the heave-ho. My male co-worker (often not as skilled as women at this kind of thing) was amazed at my accurate "predictions" - and he'd keep asking, "how do you know?" I kept saying, "I don't know, I just do." I knew I had been "soaking in" barely perceptible clues/patterns; but that's not something you can easily explain to someone else. He would joke that it was "spooky" (he was a scientist, and neither of us leaned toward believing in the "spooky" for real). For the most part, I'm not particularly skilled at that kind of thing in "general life", but I had worked there for so long I just knew it (the way mothers sometimes know their kids). (I should have gotten some betting thing going or something, instead of wasting my isolated " work-ESP skills" by sharing the information for free. :) ) In all seriousness, though, police experts do tell people to trust their intuition. Intuition can be so weirdly accurate I can see how people would confuse it with something "spookier". I've never known what to think about whether anyone is ever truly psychic (beyond intuition), because I know I'm clearly not, so who am I to really say......
Lisa, you might enjoy Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Blink'. It's about intuition, and it's a rivetting read.
They've always said women have better intuition than men
What a great hub that we can all identify with.
Amanda, thanks. I'll look for it.
cindyvine, I tend to think that's true (although, of course, there are some women who do seem to be completely without a shred of that kind of thing :) ). My sister and I have both observed that once we had kids we started to just kind "always have our ears scanning even the smallest sounds/differences within range" (like "ear radar" - if there could be such a thing :) ). Once we got used to living in that "mode" we've both discovered that we just stayed in, even after all the kids have grown. We've both observed that it's like, before kids, our ears were "just regular" - and after kids, they're just always scanning, even without our thinking about it. I can only assume it's a matter of a brain's getting practice taking in information in a certain way and then never forgetting to operate that way. We all do the same thing with subtle variations in things like how the sunlight/sky look at different times of day. I just think it's kind interesting how we miss a lot of those things unless we stop to think about them.
futonfraggle, thanks. (My kids absolutely loved "Fraggles" :) )
I think some people believe they have to be prepared, not so much worried for the bad things that are just a part of life.
Wonderful article!
goldentoad, thanks. I think you're right about some people wanting to be prepared.
wittywriter, thanks.
Very clear explanation , we all always seem to have those feelings at one time or another and some believe we are nuts. You went with your feelings with your unborn child, and someone should have listened. What you have is a gift from God , and use it wisely. Thumbs up Lisa!!!:)
One of my cousins had a similar issue where the baby was upside down (feet out first) and she felt it very early too. Sometimes heightened level of self awareness where we are completely in tune with our bodies (and mind) results in receiving those subtle signals. I have seen those who do certain yogic postures and breathing meditations have the ability to sense certain things. I join AEVANS in saying it is a gift which very few have. Thumbs up for a fantastic hub. :-)
AEvans, countrywomen - thanks. I'm not sure it's any particular gift; but the premie baby situation was, for me, I think the most "dramatic" and memorable of these "weird feelings". The other part of the story is that one day my husband just stayed home from work for no apparent reason. We planned to go out for dinner, and I said, ""We have to get a car seat for the baby. Maybe we could do that too." He agreed. The water broke in the restaurant, and we never got to get the car seat (which maybe means my "feelings" weren't quite as timely as they needed to be :) ).
Note to Anne, who e.mailed me: Anne, I'm not someone who would be able to make any guesses about what any of the things you mentioned may mean, if, in fact, they mean anything at all. I don't happen to be someone who believes in omens or signs, so I've never done any reading about things of that nature.
Based on what you wrote in the e.mail, I tend to think you may be anxious about flying; and when people get anxious they can get to "thinking spooky". There's at least a chance that you're kind of looking to make "omens" out of anything that relates to the flight date if you're anxious about it. Again, though, I know I am not the person to know whether what you've noticed means anything or doesn't. Since I don't tend to believe in that kind of stuff, I want to say it means nothing. Who am I to say, though.....
I never know what is coming ahead but I usually always feel it. Great hub here...I definately relate to it. Thanks! :)
I think what you went through are called mother instincts. I felt and dreamt I was having a boy way before I had a sonogram. Guess what when at 4 months when I went for the sonogram the nurse asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby and I told her I know its a boy. She said yup your right.....
wendy_isaiah, thanks. Maybe you're right.
It is an excellent blog. Because worrying about a problem is not going to solve it. It is better to prepare for it. Nice blog and very informative.
Nisha shan, thank you. I agree that worrying about a problem won't solve it; although there is the kind of worrying that can lead to constructive preventing or fixing of a problem in some cases. Other times, when there's nothing we can do about something, worrying only makes it worse.
Another great book about intuition is, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. It is full of very insightful information and ways to help us tune in to our intuition. The root word for intuition means "to guard, protect." It is a fascinating read and a 'must read' for any woman, especially a single woman.
rebekahELLE, thank you for sharing this.
SEM Pro says:
6 months ago
I like it Lisa! Intuitive awareness is awesome and you're so right - stress and a worrying attitude can interfere. I know someone who lives in worry 24/7 but suggesting they seek professional help would merely destroy the friendship - any ideas?