When Charities Send You Return Address Labels

I have lived my whole life on the premise that if it makes you feel guilty than you're writing a bad karma check that will not only be returned to you but with overevil fees too. Now due to the fact that I'm Jewish, I'm pretty much guilty over everything even when bad things happen to me that I don't even deserve. My brother (much more philosophical than I) once explained it to me this way, we're all a big bowl of Jell-o and if we can all send positive ripples through the Jell-o we'd be just fine but sometimes someone on the other side of the bowl is sending some negative ripples and thus you get smacked upside your head with bad shit that you didn't deserve because some asshole on the other side of the bowl isn't sending out positive waves. (Oh my God, I've got to write to Oprah, I think I finally figured out what the hell "The Secret" is all about...my brother was trying to tell me years ago with the whole Jell-o thing.) Now on the whole I'm a complete rule follower and I also try to donate to charities whenever possible (perhaps to alleviate my guilt for all the negative ripples I'm causing on my side of the bowl) but the more I give, the more charities want a piece of me. Now, I just tear open the envelope, look for the free return address labels they send and throw out the letter without even reading it. Is it bad karma to use the return address labels charities send if you don't donate? - Don't get me started!

In the past I've had no trouble just throwing away the Habitat for Humanity awful greeting cards (I donated money once in 1987 and they send me a request for money every two weeks that sometimes I think it's another bill) or the stickers for my car that some charities send. But I'm pretty sure that today I reached an all time low. I have no idea what charity it even was but they had rubber cemented a nickel to the letter so I ripped off the nickel (quickly put it in my Nipper dog bank - think RCA Victor's logo dog), ripped off the return address labels and tossed the rest in the trash. I'm sure it had something to do with a nickel a day, week or month making a difference but I didn't have time for it and yet, there's this awful feeling of dread that I'm going to have to pay more than a nickel for this somewhere down the road.

Although it may be too late to change your impression of me, please know that I do donate whenever and whatever I can (and yes, more than just crap I don't want to Goodwill to get the receipt for taxes). I donate to all sorts of charities and even my long distance carrier, Working Assets, allows you to round up your bill each month and at the end of the year you can choose which charities get your money. And yes, I DO round up each and every month. True, I donate mostly to the gay charities, meaning The Human Rights Campaign and the Gay Men's Health Crisis (the second one mostly because someday I hope to do a little withdraw from these donations for this gay man's MENTAL health crisis - could happen at any moment).

On the whole I think I'm covered as they say but I also have a drawer full of return address labels that have more than the red ribbon or the Human Rights equal sign on them. Truth be told, I have more labels than charities I donate too and I'm at the point where I have a whole system where the ones I donate to are too good to go on most of my regular mail. If it's a bill, they get a floral one from some charity I would never dream of donating to instead of the coveted red ribbon one and if it's someone I know, then I want them to see the red ribbon to know that I donated. (Yikes, suddenly I'm feeling as if I'm the only person in the world that prioritizes like this and stresses about it.) The thing is I pay most of my bills online so I don't even use the damn address labels that much which is why I have a freaking drawer full of them! Maybe it's all part of the charity conspiracy, they know that we're never going to use them but it's all part of the guilt thing to try and get some money out of you.

Almost worse than the labels and this guilt I have over them is when I finally do send some money to a charity and they send me a thank you letter with another envelope to donate some more money. What the hell are these people thinking? Do they not know that if you say, "thank you" with your hand out for more money it completely negates the thank you altogether? Am I the only one who thinks that this is rude?

I don't know, I want to do the right thing, I want to help those less fortunate than me (though sometimes it's difficult to believe there can be anyone who is less fortunate than me, the greatest never was been that's ever been) but the more I give, the more they want. The more they send me letters and DVDs, killing many a tree and whatever you have to kill to make a DVD and then I have guilt over all of that too, all the waste. I'll never win. And somewhere I just have this feeling that very soon, those address labels are going to be my undoing. Then I tell myself I'm just having a gay man's mental health crisis for no reason and I need to just start making positive waves in the Jell-o. Is it bad karma to use the return address labels charities send if you don't donate? - Don't get me started!

To alleviate my guilt, here are the links to the charities mentioned above in this blog. If you're looking for good labels, I highly recommend GMHC and HRC!

http://www.gmhc.org/ - Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC)

http://www.goodwill.org/page/guest/about - Goodwill Industries

http://www.habitat.org/ - Habitat For Humanity

http://www.hrc.org/ - Human Rights Campaign (HRC)

Read more Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com