Where Have All The Ladies Gone?
59First, let me say that it is not my intention to insult or demean anyone, especially not a whole generation of females. Disclaimer done.
Have you noticed that we use the term "female" much more than we used to. We seem to have won the fight against adults being called "girls" and "gals", but what happened to "ladies"? It's more than a question of semantics. In the post-women's lib America, there are qualities, or terms, no longer associated with womanhood. These terms seemed to have dropped out of our lexicon: Grace, class, young lady, lady-like. I'm sure there are more. The problem isn't just that we've stopped saying the words, but that we stopped encouraging the qualities in young women.
Surprisingly, the entire blame cannot be laid at the feet of pop-art and media. Although, reality television and it's fascination with our worst of the worst (Jerry Springer, Geraldo, Steve Wilkos, etc.) have immortalized the most illiterate and unattractive 15 minute stars in syndication for little girls to see how "real" women behave. And I guess we can't leave out the music videos with their "booty-shakin' hoes" gyrating to songs written specifically to demean them for profit and fame. Media and art only highlight the issue: Young women have adopted or been taught to behave in a fashion that demeans and degrades them. But, it's not just the young ones. In that age old desperation to be youthful, some of us "grown" women have forgotten to be the trend-SETTERS, not the followers.
To be loud and vulgar is the trend. Attention is attention regardless of the opinions formed along the way. Just make them hear you and look at you, no matter what. Clothes 2 sizes too small, leaving nothing to the imagination, are in high and low fashion. Show those pantie-lines, bra-straps, and stretch-marks! Ask a 20-something what kind of man she's looking for and 9 times out of ten, she will tell you the name of a car and a fashion designer. Six times out of ten, it will be while she's balancing a baby on her hip, a reminder of the last Lexus.
IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT!!!! For some reason, somewhere along the line, we stopped emphasizing manners. We stopped appreciating grace. We stopped teaching femininity along with the responsibility and priviledge of being a woman. In the mad push to embrace our strengths and inexhaustable ability to adapt and take on any challenge, we forgot to maintain the soft, private qualities. I am Woman, hear me roar...I am Woman, listen to my whisper.
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Comments
Bravo, Uriah! That's the point... Ladies aren't born, they're raised!
Good hub. As I read it it made me feel good to see a woman with the courage to really say what needs to be said.
Overall, the role models for young women have been largely disastrous. We definitely need more woman role models that embrace their femininity without the need to feel they're doing something wrong.
Give me a classy lady any time over the alternative.
Thanks so much MakinBacon! I was beginning to think Uriah would be my only comment (he knows how much I appreciate him!). Thanks for the compliment. I think that men need to have the courage to say THAT, too. So often I see young men looking at young women with amusement! They're often making spectacles of themselves! Some of us need to speak out more often, I agree.
I still use the term lady quite a bit. Parents need to point to ladies like Justice Ruth Badder Ginburg and hopefullt our new justice Sonia Sotomayor. There are plenty of women that can be role models. Young boys end up looking up to criminals with no value for human life. What once were fist fights after school are now gun battles. A young man can't stand up for himself without having a gun; that is terrible situation. The word gentleman is also not a big seller these days.
Oh, how I agree with you, Pete! Do you ever feel just a tad bit antiquated as we lament the state of youth? I think in our aging self-conciousness, we avoid pointing out the problems with the next generation. It's a shame because, God help us, they are in desperate need of more guidance or, dare I say, raising.
Yes, great observation. i remember my sister growing up and who put the brakes on her behaviour? My father. one of the problems today is for the most part there is not a man in their life to tell them that trashy is not the way to be. My brother and I were not shy about telling her when her clothing choices made her trampy looking either. Only a man with a healthy respect for women can get the true message across. good luck with your new work.
Well said, Thinking (I've decided that's my pet name for you:)! Lack of strong, positive male input is a major factor, I think. Also, a shortage of the healthy respect may be an issue. Thanks for the encouragement!
Great comments and observations! A sad topic, especially for those of us who were drilled on etiquette because we were born before the women’s movement. Oh, the hours spent with that stupid book on our heads, and those uncomfortable white gloves on Sunday! Well I, for one accept no excuses from anyone. I managed to raise a daughter without her father’s constant presence, and am proud to say, she, now 40, IS a lovely lady! It’s not brain surgery. If you want your daughter to be treated like a lady, you simply insist that she ACT like one. But then again, many things that are considered problematic today, were handled easily through stress and strife today’s generations will never know.
Thanks so much, Mommie! I know you wanted to really say, "well, duh"! Thanks for not being too hard on me!
As we continue to redefine what it means to be human in general,this has taken a drastic toll on women,especially young girls.My daughter is 15 and I have raised her as a single parent since she was four.The tug of war between what is deemed culturally acceptable and what daddy says is acceptable is a difficult war to wage but well worth the end result,in my humble opinion.This is a great hub and kudos for your astute observations!
Thank you so much Mindless! I appreciate your kudos especially! And right back at you for being a dad setting the example for how a lady should be treated!
Uriah Fable says:
8 months ago
Where have all the ladies gone? Well for certain, I know there are two close by, my two eldest, Maeghen and Amanda! Not to toot my own horn, but I think they turned out ok and have many of the qualities you've mentioned. Maybe I'm old fashion, but I still say please and thank you often, always open the car door for my wife and still believe that ladies should be treated as such!